In Too Deep

ship.

“Are you worried they’ll trace this back to you?” I ask once the video ends.

“Of course. But honestly I don’t think they’ll be able to. It’s more the gravity of what I’ve done. The damage I’ve caused.” She looks down again at the computer screen, which shows images of silty black water slick with oil, and brown waves crashing against a rocking shoreline, leaving the thick deposits in its wake.

“I just don’t understand…” She looks lost. “Why would he do this? Why give me this assignment? He had to know right?”

I look down. Of course he did.

She inhales, fighting off the emotion in her voice. “I thought our assignments were taking down bad guys, the criminals. I thought we were on the good side of the law. McAllister said I’d work with the government, that I’d be helping. That’s why I stayed – that’s why I’m here.”

“I know,” I say, softly, reassuringly. “That’s why I’m here too.” Our eyes meet and lock on each other’s for a moment.

“Why would he make me do this? What’s his motivation?”

I shake my head. “He’s just hungry – he won’t say no to business. Running this place is his entire life and I don’t think he has any moral compass outside of seeing his company succeed.”

“Is he married?” she surprises me by asking.

“He was. A long time ago.”

“How do you know so much about him?”

“I just do.” I clear my throat. “I’ve been here for three years trying to keep him in line.”

She nods, accepting my answer without question. If she knew the truth, I doubt she’d be sitting here right now, so calmly discussing this with me.

Taylor goes to another news site and clicks on an article about the major cleanup effort that will likely last several months. She leans forward, reading it with interest, desperately trying to piece this all together.

“Enough.” I close the screen to her laptop.

She looks up at me blinking her beautiful eyes, her pink lips parted.

“It’ll just upset you,” I explain.

Taylor stays with me until dinnertime when I make her go downstairs to eat with her friends. The sooner she moves past this the better. I don’t want her dwelling on it. We can’t change the past, and I know she’s now working out her future here.

I can’t argue with her about staying again, not after this.

He must have known that. Is this a punishment for that botched assignment? Can he tell I like her and doesn’t want her getting in the way of my work here?

When Taylor slips off to dinner, I decide to pay a visit to McAllister, my palms itching as the need to pummel something returns in full force.

* * *

Taylor spends the entire next week reading every single news article she can find, tracking down any connection McAllister could have to this ship, yet we’re still no farther along in understanding McAllister’s motives behind this deliberate oil spill than we were before.

It’s no longer enough for me to hang out with Taylor during her independent study, she also comes to my room every night after dinner and we read the news articles together, even though I know it’s not healthy.

I’m thankful when after several days; the media attention about the oil spill has died down.

“I’m going to throw this laptop out of the window if you don’t get off of it soon,” I threaten.

Taylor’s lying across my bed on her stomach, deep in thought, staring at the screen. She looks up at me and smiles. Actually smiles. It’s heaven. I can see the tension slipping from her day by day.

Taking her good mood as a cue, I join her on the bed and close the laptop, sliding it away from her.

“You’ve been too distracted lately. Too consumed by this. We’re getting out of here for a while.” Damn it. I’m telling her again. I swallow and correct myself. “Can I take you out?”

She smirks, studying me curiously. “I assume after how our last date ended – this won’t be a date.” She uses air quotes.

I stare at her, the confidence growing inside me. “Call it whatever you want, but yes, I see it as a date.”

She bites into her lip, studying me.

“But I promise to be a proper companion this time. No physical contact.” I hold up my hands, showing her I’m safe.

She frowns at me. She really doesn’t understand why I stopped touching her last time.

“Why do you assume that’s what I want?” She challenges.

Now it’s my turn to stare at her in confusion. Her blue eyes dance with mischief, perplexing as ever. “Okay. How about this?” I drop my voice a notch lower, leaning in closer to her. “No physical contact unless you ask for it first.” I smile. “Sound fair?”

Her lips quirk up in a strange half grin when she realizes she’ll have complete control over me. “I think I can handle that,” she says, breathless.

Who knew being the one in control would make her so happy. I realize this is what she wants, what she’s needed all along: me, this relationship on her terms. I’m game. Because by the end of the night, she’ll be begging me to touch her.

“Tomorrow then.”

“Tomorrow.” She smiles.

I’m a goner.

Chapter 40

The last week has flown by in a whirl-wind. I can’t eat a solid meal, I’ve barely slept, I’m on my laptop 24/7 and I respond to my mom’s calls with one-line texts, just to say I’m fine, but busy with school, knowing that if I hear her voice I’ll break down.

Each day I’ve questioned why I’m still here. But if I’m being honest with myself – the reason is Colt. He’s been my savior this week. Making sure I’m eating, keeping me company in the computer lab, listening to my rants about McAllister, who’s conveniently gone away on business – I think to avoid me and Colt.

Each night I’ve gone to Colt’s room, where he distracts me with old sitcoms on his computer, and board games from the rec room closet. He’s doing everything he knows how to do to keep me occupied – well not everything since I suspect there are extra-curricular activities he excels at beyond Monopoly, yet he hasn’t laid a finger on me.

I even acted like my neck was stiff and sore once from hunching over my computer all day attempting to entice him into giving me another massage like he did in the lighthouse, but this time, he just clenched his jaw and asked if I needed another Diet Coke. When I’d said sure, he’d darted out of the room like there was a fire.

He’s beyond frustrating. I have no clue what he’s thinking most of the time. But then yesterday he surprised me by asking me out again. I’d figured he’d chalked up our one and only date as a complete failure, so was I thrown off when he asked.

Then he’d promised there’d be no contact between us and my smart mouth shot off without a filter as usual. I’d certainly caught him off guard, in a good way, judging by the look on his face.

I head to my room to get ready and solicit MJ’s help again with my hair and makeup.

“I thought you said the first date sucked?” she asks, squinting at me.

“I thought it did.”  But looking back with a clear head, without the scent of Colt and the crashing waves filling my senses, I recall details I’d missed in the moment. The low groan in his chest when I kissed him back.

I want to kiss you. In fact, I want to do much more than just kiss you.

Colt had been protecting me. From what?

Oh.