should already be showing, I’ve actually lost weight from the morning sickness. My boobs are definitely bigger, but do guys ever really notice anything past “Oh look, boobs”?
My moods have been kinda crazy, in fact I’ve probably seen days where I’ve looked like less of an escaped mental patient, but outwardly, I guess I seem kind of normal. Or as normal as I get, anyway, so I guess it makes sense he’d jump to the conclusion that I choose to chuck up my guts for kicks.
I stare up into his sky blue eyes and realise this is the moment that I have to come clean. It’s also the moment I stop being the sexy little minx that rocked his world once or twice in our not too distant past, who he might like to bend over the kitchen counter and screw senseless, and instead become a walking womb.
“I don’t need to see a doctor, Jack. I’m pregnant, not bulimic,” I blurt out, and try to edge past him while his face is frozen in shock. He grabs my wrist and pulls me back to face him.
“What?” he whispers, and I’m surprised by the hurt I see in his gaze.
“Jackson, meet Mini Coop.” I wave my arm back and forth between him and my stomach.
He glances back and forth between my flat stomach and my eyes and then at Ana, as if he’s hoping that this is all some fucked up joke. “Tell me you’re shitting me, Hols?”
I don’t know what to say. I wish someone would tell me this is all some kind of joke, and then I’d grab his hand and run off to the nearest available horizontal surface to bang his brains out. Yeah, that ain’t happening, and this shit’s still real.
“It’s true,” Ana confirms, and Jackson swipes his hand over his face. His other hand is balled into a tight fist and I can tell he’s dying to hit something, or someone. I guess it’s a good thing Coop’s nowhere to be found, after all.
“Fuck!”
“No thanks, that’s kinda what landed me in this position in the first place,” I deadpan, but that just makes him angrier. Jackson’s really not taking this news well. I know we flirt and fight and carry on like an old married couple, but I didn’t know he’d be this affected by finding out I was pregnant with someone else’s baby. When he narrows his gaze and pens me in against the wall, my breathing becomes heavier. Wetness pools between my legs and my nipples harden into stiff peaks beneath my singlet top. Holy crap, I have a total lady boner for Jackson Rowe right now.
“How could you be so fucking stupid, Hols?” he’s seething as he says it, but there’s not just anger and disappointment in his tone—there’s hurt, too.
“Jackson!” Ana chides.
“You know what, Jack? I ask myself that on a daily basis.”
“But you’re always careful?”
“Yeah, except for that one time where I wasn’t, and I trusted my boyfriend enough to believe that the condom we were using wasn’t centuries old, but then: surprise! Turns out you can’t trust any man these days, even the ones that claim they love you. Who knew, right? Now, if you’re done with your caveman bullshit, I have to get ready for work.”
“Who is he?
“Don’t know, don’t care.”
“What do you mean you don’t know? He’s gonna take care of this shit, isn’t he?”
“I really hope you didn’t just refer to my baby as
“What do you mean he won’t know? You’re not telling him he has a kid?”
“No. I’m not telling him shit.”
“What the fuck, Hols?”
“Jackson, lay off,” Ana butts in.
“Don’t tell me you’re alright with this shit?” Jackson shoots Ana an incredulous look before turning back to me. “The man has a right to know about his kid.”
“As far as I’m concerned, he gave up any rights he had when he left me here with his demon seed to go become a rock star.”
“Did you just call your baby demon seed?” Jackson says.
“Hey, I’m allowed to call him whatever the hell I like, he’s
“Oh yeah? Well, when the hell were you going to tell me about this? When I’m giving up my room for a nursery, and kissing my sex life goodbye because there’s a baby screaming into all hours of the night?”
“As if that would ever stop you. The entire house could be on fire, and you wouldn’t notice a thing until you’d blown your load.”
“Are you fucking serious right now?”
“Oh, I’m deadly serious. What I’d like to know is why you think you’re so fucking important that you deserve to know what goes on in
Jack flinches like he’s just been slapped. I didn’t mean for that to come out the way it did, and though I don’t know why, I know I’ve managed to hurt him badly. I also feel like complete and utter crap. I didn’t mean any of the things I just said to him and—oh, how wonderful, now I’m acting like a complete and utter girl and tears are springing into my eyes. God, I’m so damn mad I could choke him and yet all I want to do is wrap my arms around his middle and beg him to forgive me.
“Both of you shut up!” Ana yells and points at Jackson. “You need to back the fuck off,” she says and then turns on me, “and you need to chill the fuck out. This kind of stress is not good for the baby.”
Just as she says that I feel a sharp pang in my abdomen. I cry out and bend over, breathing rapidly through my nose. Ana’s by my side in a heartbeat, taking my arm in hers and leading me to the bedroom. “Holly, are you okay?”
“Yeah I …” I begin, and then pivot on my heels and run for the bathroom. I barely manage to get the lid on the toilet seat up before the vomit comes gushing out of me. My stomach cramps down on itself over and over again as I empty it into the bowl. Ana’s beside me holding back my hair, which is just about the sweetest thing she could ever do because she’s one of those people that loses her shit just seeing someone dry-retching. Jackson stays over by the door, which is typical Jackson, but when I ease back from the toilet and finally rise to my feet my eyes meet his, and he’s clearly stricken. Either that, or he’s just fighting the urge throw up now, too.
“Do you want me to call your doctor?” Ana asks as she steers me over to the sink and preps my toothbrush for me.
“No. I’ll be fine. I may have to call my boss though,” I kid.
Ana smiles and heads over to the door as I freshen up. “Well, good luck. I heard she was a raving bitch.”
“Nah, she’s okay. I think she mostly just needs a good lay,” I mutter back and Ana laughs.
Out in the hall she grabs her handbag and keys with a promise to call me at lunch to make sure I’m okay. Then she turns on Jackson. “You. Take care of her today. If she wants something, go get it for her. Do not let her get out of bed unless it’s to pee.”
“Yes ma’am.”
She points at me then. “And you, keep your bloody temper on a leash.”
“Okay, Mum,” I reply and then she’s gone, leaving Jackson and I to stare at one another, our earlier argument abandoned. Though I know the world hasn’t changed within these last few minutes of fighting, everything in our world has. Silence fills up the space between us until I finally turn away and trek back to my bedroom to hide beneath the covers and wish like hell that the zomb-ocalypse was upon us. At least that way I’d have a legitimate excuse to punch his lights out.
