Walk the Shadows

'No, sir.' Harry sighed and looked deep into the cup, as if he could see more in there than even that dingbat, Trelawney. 'I'm sorry if I . . . if I've kept you awake.'

Severus waved his hand dismissively. 'That's not why I mention them. You must Occlude when you lie down to rest. The meditative properties of clearing your mind will help you avoid your nightmares, too.'

A green-eyed gaze flicked to meet his for a millisecond. 'Meditative what?'

'Did you not learn anything from our past lessons?' Severus growled. 'I'm talking about when you clear your mind! Through breathing or picturing waves upon the beach or however you tried it. Meditation, boy!'

'I . . .' Harry stared, his expression a mix of shock and outrage. 'But you never told me any of that! Breathing? All you said to me, ever, was that I had to get my emotions under control and clear my mind! How was I supposed to know how to do that?'

Severus glared right back. 'I assumed you would seek ways to accomplish it, outside of our lessons, which were meant for far more important aspects of learning Occlumency, ones you could not complete on your own.' He leaned forward and jabbed a finger in the boy's direction. 'You could have, for instance, researched methods of clearing your mind, perhaps with the help of that Know-it-all you spend so much time with. Surely Miss Granger could have found copious volumes of meditative techniques for you in the library, if you were unable to wrap your pea-sized brain around the concept yourself!'

Harry gaped at him, at a loss for words. For once. About time, too. But it was too much to hope it would last long, however, as the Brat Who Lived opened his mouth and muttered, 'You could have mentioned as much.'

Through gritted teeth, Severus spat, 'You wasted my time. You never took the training seriously, and you have the nerve to castigate me?'

At once, the boy's whole face grew red, neck and ears and all, and he bowed it over his tea as he murmured something more.

'What is it, boy? Speak up!'

With a gulped breath, Potter dared a glance up at Severus, and by some miracle, held his gaze. 'I said I'm sorry, sir.' His voice was half contrition, half ashamed, and Severus raised one eyebrow. 'I really am. You're right. I . . . I'm sorry I'm such a waste of time. If I had it to do over, I'd . . .' He shrugged, and Severus let it go this once.

'You are not a waste of time,' he said, after allowing the silence stretch while he got his temper back under control. 'But your lack of self-control – of your emotions, of your mind – makes you a liability, to your friends, to yourself, and to the cause we are fighting for.'

'Yes, sir.'

The boy looked properly cowed, now, yet somehow, his submission did not hold the wondrous flavor and texture as once it had. Harry was broken, Severus reminded himself. And he did not like to toy with broken things. 'Perhaps . . .' Severus sighed and overruled his better judgment. 'Perhaps I could loan you reading material that might aid your attempts to clear your mind. Once you've read and made use of the information, we might consider another attempt at Occlumency.'

'Really?' The boy straightened in his chair. Hope shined in his eyes. 'I mean, that would be great, sir. Thank you!'

So easy, Severus reflected again. It would be so easy to turn this boy against everyone and everything he knew, into little more than an extension of his own will, with a few kind deeds and tempered words. And yet, if he was to be their one and only hope . . . Well. If that was the case, then it was really up to Severus to make sure Potter got back on his feet and arm him with all the weapons at his disposal.

He just wished he had more time.

TBC . . .

A/N: Thank you to everyone who's read and reviewed! If you have any questions, or comments or corrections, please let me know. Next chapter should be out Thursday or Friday.

*Chapter 19*: Chapter 19

Walk the Shadows -- Chapter 19

By jharad17

Disclaimer: None of this is mine. Quit asking!

A/N at end.

He gave me a book last night called One Hundred and One Ways to Focus Your Mind's Power, which would have bloody brilliant to have, oh, I don't know, like six months ago! I didn't bother to say that again, though, 'cause he's been in a foul mood ever since he offered to give Occlumency another go, and I didn't feel like having my head bitten off. Truthfully, he'd had me a bit worried, 'cause he wasn't acting all gittish (Take that, Hermione!) all the time, which was really weird. But now he's back to his nasty, gitly self (and if you're reading this, Professor, I mean that in the most non-points-taking way you can imagine), so I can relax. A bit.

I don't know what he was playing at anyway, pretending to care and ask me about my fucking childhood. It's not like he won't ridicule me for it the second he gets a chance to, the second his Slytherins need a good laugh.

But reading the book was helpful. I'll admit that. I got about halfway through it, last night, and even used one of the 'meditative techniques' that he never bothered to tell me about. Before bed I tried using a layer of something virtually unpenetrable, like stone, to hide certain thoughts and memories away. How rough the cut of stone is, determines how much it can hide without cracking. Mine was pretty pitted, so I guess it can hold a lot.

Anyway, I still had nightmares -- hard to remember a time when I didn't, actually -- but not all night this time. And they were of Hedwig and my bastard of an uncle, and of Sirius, like during the early part of the