Walk the Shadows

'Well, not completely. He's never really said.'

Severus glared at the wolf. When given enough prompting, and enough time, Harry had said plenty about the care he'd had at the hands of his relatives. Not that he'd ever been given that time or attention.

'But,' Lupin continued, 'when we, that is, the Advance Guard, went to get him last summer, he was locked in his room. The Muggles were gone, then, too. He seemed . . . startled to see us, but I thought he was just on edge because of what happened in the graveyard and to Cedric.'

'The locks were on the outside of his door,' Severus said in his quiet voice.

'Yes, how did--'

'And yet you found little suspicious about that circumstance?'

'I wasn't really thinking about it at the time.'

'No. I imagine not.' Severus closed his eyes and took a long breath. He had also not thought much about that fact, not until later. But then, he'd been busy trying to save the boy from Bellatrix at the time.

'Later, though, when I considered it further, I talked about it with Sirius. He was furious, of course, but there wasn't anything he could do about it. He wanted Harry to stay with him, if he was expelled for underage use of magic, and I think Harry would have. We spent Christmas there, obviously, and Sirius was trying to get Dumbledore to agree to let Harry stay with him during the whole summer, when he . . .' Lupin sighed and spread his hands. 'Regardless, we were only trying to help. It was obvious Harry wasn't happy there, and we didn't want the Muggles to take advantage of his grief.'

'And yet, none of you checked on him.'

Lupin's face went into his hands. 'No,' the word was muffled. 'You don't know how sorry I am.'

'I don't care how sorry you are.' Severus paused, reined in his temper again. 'The only one you need to apologize to is Harry.'

'I will, when he gives me a chance. Will you talk to him?'

'So you don't have to face him? I think not.'

Lupin nodded wearily. They were quiet for a long time before he said, 'He looks better than he did a week ago. Less pale and shaky, at least. And you both seem to be getting along.'

Severus sneered. 'If that's the best you can do at oblique snooping into the guardianship issue, then frankly I worry at your skills in subterfuge in your dealings with the werewolves.'

'My apologies, Severus, for attempting to be circumspect with you.' Lupin sought out his gaze at last. 'So, then. How did you manage it with Harry? It's obvious he respects you.' He left off the 'now' but they both heard it anyway.

'It's amazing what a measure of honesty and consistency can do,' Severus said dryly.

'Is that all?'

'All?' Severus was stunned.

'Well . . .'

Taking a moment to clear his mind before he attacked a werewolf in his own office, Severus folded his hands together to keep them from forming fists. And he left his wand in his sleeve, to prevent any . . . accidents. 'You would realize,' he said in the softest tone he'd ever used, 'if you spent any time at all with the boy, that consistency and honesty are two things explicitly lacking from his dealings with any figures of authority. He has been lied to and given widely varying expectations for the entirety of his life. For the last two weeks, I have laid down very clear rules for him, which he has, for the most part, followed. There have been consequences when he has not, ones that were laid out for him as well. It is this that he responds to, and this which I offer him as his guardian.'

Lupin, eyes wide, leant forward in his seat, his amber gaze piercing. 'Is that all you care for him?'

'What kind of idiocy do you want me to spout?' Severus snapped. 'I am not maudlin enough for declarations of love, as well you know.'

'I didn't ask if you loved him, just if you cared about him.'

'Of course! He's the Chosen One, isn't he?' His other feelings were well hidden as a matter of course. Those whose lives and well-being mattered little could not be used against you by your enemies.

'Ah. So, you're just keeping Dumbledore's Weapon safe and biddable.'

'If you choose to think so.'

'Right. So, you'll make him your ward for a year, but what has Harry ever wanted more than a family? Surely you know that. Will you give him a family, Severus, and make him your son?'

Severus felt his face drain of blood and he stood so fast his chair tipped over. 'You dare . . . You impertinent . . .' He couldn't think of anything horrible enough to say, and that in itself shocked him into movement. He had a handful of the wolf's robes before he knew what he was doing. His face was so close to Lupin's he could feel his own harsh breaths ricochet off the other man's skin. 'Don't you play the stalwart card with me,' he spat. 'We both know how carelessly you abandoned him after his parents died. If you ever want to have a place in his life, I suggest you swallow that damnable Marauder pride and prepare to grovel on your belly for his forgiveness.'

He thrust Lupin away from him and stalked from the office to take a walk around the grounds and clear his head. Harry did not need to see him in such a state.

---

More than an hour later, when he was sufficiently in control of himself, Severus returned to his quarters. He