Whelp

'Righ', then, come on in and I'll set th'kettle on. Fang, move your lazy hind end!'

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TBC . . . with Snape's conversation with Dumbledore . . .

A/N: Thanks, as always, to everyone who reads and reviews, or offers commentaries or corrections or what all. You guys are the awesomest! Next chapter, probably Monday.

*Chapter 19*: Chapter 19

Whelp -- Chapter 19

By jharad17

Disclaimer: I'm not blond, nor rich. 'Nuff said.

A/N at end.

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In the Headmaster's office, Severus sat with his head in his hands, and tried to hold his emotions in check. When he thought he could speak without breaking down, he said, 'I don't think I'm cut out for this. I think we made a mistake.'

'Why don't you tell me what happened, dear boy.'

'Harry had a nightmare.'

Albus nodded, an understanding smile on his lips. 'Not his first, surely.'

'No,' Severus agreed. 'But this was the first time I couldn't rouse him from it. And I had been drinking.'

With a frown, Albus said, 'Are the two related?'

'I don't know! Maybe. Probably. I should have remembered. I saw it in his memories. Vernon's,' he snarled the name. 'He was always more violent when he was drinking. Of course the boy would remember as well. And I spilled it, and he was crying, and biting his hand, like he shouldn't make any sound at all, and the blood . . .'

Before he realized it, Albus was beside him, a hand on his shoulder, and speaking, but it took a moment for his to hear the words as anything but condemnation. 'Shh, Severus. Take a breath. He'll be all right, I'm sure.'

'Will he?' Severus shook off the Headmaster's hand and was on his feet in a heartbeat. The thumped a fist on his chest. 'I reminded him of that awful place, of his horrid uncle. I frightened him enough that he tore a chunk out of his hand to keep from crying! I can't do this, I can't hurt him anymore, Albus!'

'Severus, please. Calm yourself.'

'I don't want to be calm, dammit! I want to go back to their despicable, hateful house and kill them. I want to send them to the Dementors, and I want to watch them lose their souls.'

'And your wish for Harry?'

His pacing brought him near the fireplace, and he rested his head on the mantle. 'I want him to be safe.'

'He's safe with you.'

Severus shook his head. 'He isn't. I think I healed the hand well enough, but only time will tell. What if he never gets back function of it? He won't tell me when he's hurt, just says he's fine. I can't be good for him, though I try. My temper . . . there must be someone else.'

'No. You're the only one who can do this now, Severus. You're the only ones the wards would form for.'

'Albus, there must be someone else who loved Lily, who can take him. Someone more stable, more together . . . less like me.' He couldn't bear the thought of giving the boy up, but he wanted more than anything else, for Harry to be safe . . . for him to feel safe.

'I'm afraid it's not as easy as that,' Albus said quietly. 'The ritual--'

He whirled around to glare at the Headmaster. 'Was flawed! I know it and so do you. What the hell happened to Harry? The ritual should have made him change slowly, but he's . . .' Severus hung his head. 'I don't know what he is.'

'He's your son.'

Sighing, Severus said, 'Yes, I know. The ritual . . .' He looked at Albus, who was holding his gaze, and the knowledge hit him like a bludger. 'You don't mean because of the adoption.'

'No. He was already your son.'

'That's impossible! I counted. Lily--'

'Was brilliant at Charms.' Albus smiled gently. 'And should have been sorted into Slytherin, I think. She . . . adjusted things, in James' favor.'

'For Merlin's sake, why?'

'Do you really need to ask?'

No. He really didn't. It was so long ago, it was hard to dredge up specific memories, but he recalled how terribly alone he'd been feeling the night he and Lily were together. He had been working as a spy for Albus, for the Order, for almost a year at that point, and had no one to talk with about any of it, except for Albus, who had very little time for him, aside from reports.