Abandon

After that, everything happened so, so fast. Next to me, Saffediene cried out. I spun wildly out of control from the collision with my dad. When I regained equilibrium, I found Saffediene a few feet away, shaking tech- sparks from her coat.

My father hovered with his back to me, regaining his balance on his board. When he spoke, his voice sounded off, but I hadn’t seen or heard from him in over a year.

“Come with me, Zenn.”

“Dad?” I asked, so many questions buried in that single word. I swung my attention back to Saffediene. “Saffediene?” I whispered.

She closed the gap between us and slipped her hand into mine. “You should go with him.”

“Come with me,” I said, squeezing her hand.

She shook her head. “Go work things out with him. I’ll carry out our directive and meet you back at the safe house.”

I kissed her quickly, just as my dad called my name again. I’d longed to hear his voice for so long. My father held out his hand to me.

The ache that had grown inside withered and died. “Dad.” I flew over to him. “What’s going on?” I had so much more to ask him (Where have you been? Why didn’t you message? Did you know Fret used to live here?), but in the middle of a mission didn’t seem like a good time.

“Come with me,” he said. He curved his board expertly away from the burning Security Department.

I glanced at Saffediene and saw techtricity arc out of the flames and hit her board. She seized as the energy lightninged through her body, and then she plummeted toward the ground, her mouth open in a silent scream, before being caught by an electro-net. She hovered in empty space, her blond hair splayed, her eyes filled with pain, her left leg bent at a weird angle.

“Saffediene!” I shouted as my father yelled, “Zenn!”

I shot toward the electro-net, toward that girl I’d recently started falling for. I’d abandoned my father for another girl, years ago. But I couldn’t leave Saffediene.

My board sliced the ashy air, but before I could reach Saffediene, it lost power. I began to move backward. I spun around. My dad had tethered my board to his and was flying us away from the Security Department.

“Stop!” I cried. “Dad, please.”

He ignored me as he zoomed downward, undisturbed by the spark of a taser over there, or the shout of someone behind us. I couldn’t take everything in fast enough.

Beyond the Security Department, my dad had little difficulty navigating the city, which added more questions to the queue. He flew us into a portal, and we disappeared inside a building.

The tunnel grew lighter and lighter until I entered a tech-lit room filled with hover technology. Boards, balls, cars, the works. Jag would kill to get in this room. Maybe he already had.

We were alone, but I didn’t trust myself to speak first. My dad stepped off his board, but—

It wasn’t my father at all.

It was General Director Darke.

My vision blurred, but the image of the General didn’t waver. I should’ve immediately backed up and retreated through the tunnel. I should’ve said something in my most powerful voice. Something like Leave me the hell alone or How dare you impersonate my father? I should’ve done something more than stand there and stare.

“Zenn Bower,” the General said, his eyes deep pools of intrigue. “We finally meet under appropriate circumstances.”

If he thought morphing himself into my father—or getting inside my mind to make me think I was seeing my father—and then forcing me to follow him constituted “appropriate circumstances,” the man was delusional. He slicked one hand over his graying hair and smiled.

“What do you want?” I asked. I didn’t know what I expected from the General. He hadn’t made it to the crown of the Association by playing nice. I imagined my friends out in the sky, fighting to find the very man that stood before me. Dying, maybe. I saw Saffediene in that net. My hands clenched and unclenched as I worked to control my escalating anger.

“I believe you’ve already spoken with Van.” General Darke’s eerily calm smile never wavered as he spoke.

My throat turned dry. “I don’t like his offer.”

“I didn’t say you had to like it, but you do have to accept it.” The General casually sat down and plucked something from his jacket pocket.

“I don’t think—”

“Ah, now there’s the problem,” the General said. “You think too much.”

I shook my head. “No, I don’t.” I plan. I calculate. It’s one of my best qualities.

“Oh, but it’s not, Zenn,” the General said, revealing his ability to read my thoughts. “Why don’t you try being a little spontaneous for once?”

“I’m spontaneous,” I argued, remembering how Gunner had said I didn’t argue when I was right.

General Darke stood up. “Prove it.” He took several steps toward me. “Come with me. Escape this oppression. Live how you want, wherever you want. I’ll give you any city in the Association.”

I swallowed as he stopped directly in front of me. “I’ve been working against people like you for years.”

“I know.” The General smiled. “And it’s not doing you any good. Why not give the other side a try? You might just find that we’re right.”

Time stretched itself into seconds that became minutes. I wanted to argue with the General. Sure, his government functioned. And I had seen the effects of free choice. Riots. Death. Inequality. But that society was free. Which was better?

I felt like I was arguing a losing debate. That deep, buried part of me that had responded when Director Hightower had said, You know I’m right, surged upward.

“Any city?” I asked, hating the weakness in my voice.

“Any city.”

“My friends go free.” I forced some measure of control into my voice.

General Darke put his hand on my shoulder. “Oh, Zenn. They’re not your friends.”

I opened my mouth to protest, to tell him I’d go with him if Vi could go free, if he’d let Saffediene out of that net. He cut me off. “And they will die. Sadly, war has casualties.”

“But—”

He squeezed my shoulder a little too hard. “But nothing, Zenn. Either you’re all in—or all out.” He stepped back. “Your choice.”

I replayed my convo with Saffediene about enacting change from within. I thought about the riot in Harvest, the fires in Baybridge, the relative ease with which General Darke had emptied a city of millions in only a day.

I felt a tear ripping down the middle of my body.

I saw myself helping Jag. I saw him win. I saw myself helping General Director Darke. I saw him win.

I remembered the things I’d said to Vi to keep her out of trouble with the Association. I remembered doing nothing to get Vi out of her brainwashed state in Freedom.

I’d recruited Saffediene. I’d escaped Freedom. I’d flown to city after city, implementing the changes from Gunn’s journal.

And for what? For the opportunity to wear rags and eat expired cans of stew? To watch an Insider-friendly city burn?

How much had I contributed to that? I gave intel to both sides; my reports inspired action on both sides.

I’d played the Informant-Insider for far too long. It was time to choose.

I took a deep breath as Saffediene’s words sounded in my mind. You could always go back undercover. You could make the necessary changes we need—from within.

“I want Freedom.”