confidence, a different kind of male grace than Liam’s, but still wholly male, still a demanding presence. Though he looks nothing like Chad, he reminds me of him, and I can see them as friends.
Nervous about needing the gun he’s left me, I settle it in my lap, check for the safety, and spend the next five minutes scanning the area, intermittently eying Jared through the glass at the counter. I’m surprised to be calm and unemotional. I’m in that zone I use to use to survive. It used to be my comfort zone, a place I escaped the darkness of my fear, but it’s now an icy hollow place I do not want to visit.
In only a few minutes, Jared saunters back toward me and climbs into the truck, surprising me by reaching for the gun in my lap, covering my hand holding it with his.
Our eyes meet and I can see the heat in his and I’m not sure why. I’m a mess, barely showered and...I just don’t get it, but I’m hoping it’s not going to be a problem. “I’ll let you keep it on one condition,” he negotiates.
“Condition?”
“You have to promise not to use it on me.”
“Haven’t considered that just yet.”
He chuckles and releases the gun to start the engine. “Guess I’m doing something right then. Put it in your purse. I’ll feel better if you're armed. We’re around the back of the building. I didn’t want us to be seen and the faster we get inside and stay inside, the better.”
Ah, I think. The familiar drill and supposed brilliance that everyone thinks is the hermit strategy. Until there’s a fire. It’s a horrible thought and I cut my gaze to the window, thinking of that damn sign “Red Heaven Restaurant.” Maybe it’s a tribute, not a slap, but Sheridan is into oil and thanks to Jared I now know my family was, too.
Jared opens his door and I blink to realize he’s killed the engine and we’ve arrived at our building. I quickly place the gun in my purse and follow him outside, surprised at how little anxiety I feel with Jared, considering the motel. But he knows my brother, and I hunger to hear more about Chad, even more so, I crave the moment I can hug my brother again.
By the time I read the number on the chipped, powder blue door, Jared is already swiping the key. He motions me forward and I enter to a musty smell that I dismiss with the relief of finding two beds that seem to support my trust in Jared. Or maybe it’s all the place had, but I’m going to go with my instincts.
Jared shuts the door behind me and locks it, and I turn to watch him. He unzips his bag and sets a gun on the bed. Now, I’m nervous and my heart lurches, my eyes meeting his. “If anyone comes in that door,” he explains, motioning to the gun, “they meet Berta. And she’s a bitch to swallow.”
“Well then I’m glad to meet her,” I say, though she isn’t any more comforting than his obvious thought that we need her.
His eyes soften, his voice turning all silky and gentle. “Why don’t you join me so we can talk.”
I nod and claim the opposite bed, and we sit with the nightstand separating us, knees a foot apart. He stares at me and doesn’t speak and I do not like the sympathy etched in his brown eyes. “What? Whatever you’re hanging on to and not saying, just say it. You’re scaring me again.”
“I could sit here and weed through how you got with Meg and what you’ve been through but I’m just going to get right to what matters. Four days after I got the message from your brother, I got a second call from him. This time, I answered in time to talk to him.”
Adrenaline pours through me. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
“It wasn’t the right time.”
I’m pretty sure that means I’m not going to like what is coming. “And?” I prod anxiously.
“I’m going to shoot straight with you because I think it’s the only way you can make a clear decision about what comes next.”
I clutch the blanket on the bed. “What does that mean?”
“It means, Chad was urgent and whispering on the call, clearly hiding. He said…” He hesitates, a muscle flexing in his whisker-dusted jaw.
“He said what?” I demand.
“He said he wasn’t going to make it through the night and all he cared about was you.”
“No. No. That can’t be. You said--”
“I haven’t given up hope on him. He was calling me to ensure you survived. He’s a survivor too, though, Amy. We will fight for him. I promise you.”
Hope is my enemy. It’s worse than lies. It promises and it takes back. It teases and it rips my heart out. “What else did he say?”
“He told me he left you instructions to protect yourself and 111 is the way to do it, whatever that means.”
“111,” I murmur and at first I think of the locker number at JFK where he’d left me a note but another memory surfaces. He and I had been at a dig site in Egypt, alone in a tent, hanging out as we often did, and Chad was stuffing pieces of paper he’d written on in an old wine bottle.
“You know what it means?”
“It’s his lucky number,” I say, and know what it means and where to find it. “He used it for a lot of things. What else?”
“He told me to tell you he’s sorry this hell happened and he knows you can never forgive him, but he loves you.That was it,” he adds. “The line went dead.”
My breath hitches and I lower my head, pressing my hand to my forehead. I’ve lost him before I ever found him again. No. No. No. I push to my feet and start for the door. Jared grabs my arm. “Whoa. Where are you going?”
“They have my brother. They gave me four days to get them what they want or they’ll kill him. Maybe 111 is what they want. I have to go now.”
“You know what he was telling you with 111?”
“Yes.” I tug on my arm. “I need to go. We need to go now.”
He doesn’t budge. “Who is ‘they’ and how did ‘they’ contact you?”
“I don’t know who ‘they’ are. The man in the photo. Oil people. The Underground. It could be any of them but right now I don’t even care. I just want to know what 111 tells me before they kill him.”
“How do you know they plan to kill him?”
“Meg. She showed me a note and a text message. That’s how she got me to go with her. That’s why I used the ID. There was no time to travel and I had no resources for a new one. I have to figure out what they want.”
“We need to think before we act. They’ll be watching. They could take whatever you’re after from you and kill him.”
“If they haven’t already.”
“They won’t kill him if they think he’s the way to motivate you to give them what they want. And they won’t kill you if they think you know what that is. Chad isn’t a fool. He’s knows how to spin information.”
I shove his chest. “We can’t just stand here. What I’m thinking of might not even be what they want. I have to get it. There’s no time.”
“I just told you. They aren’t going to kill him if they think you have what they want.”
“You don’t even know who ‘they’ are or what they want so you can’t be sure.”
A knock sounds on the door and Liam’s voice follows. “Amy.”
My heart lurches, and a mix of dread and absolute happiness fill me but Jared pulls me to him, keeping me grounded in the reality of my life and the hell I live in. “What ‘they’ might do is kill lover boy out there as an example and leave Chad alive. Get rid of him. Tell him you’re fucking me. Tell him that you used him for money to save your brother. Whatever you have to say, you get rid of him. And if you can’t, be worried he’s one of them. Understand?”
“Yes. Yes, you’re right.”
He studies me a moment, his stare probing, then sets me away from him, reaching for Berta. “Why do you
