Stroke Of Fear

   He lifts an eyebrow and tilts his head toward the right. What? “Aubrey! Can you hear us?”

   Shit, are they talking to me? “Huh?”

   A few campers start to laugh, but Mrs. Jones gives them the evil glare. “Cassie finished her story. Do you have a scary story for us? Maybe something scary that happened to you.” She’s smiling. She has no idea.

   Gripping my yoga pants into my fists, I stare at the ground. She has no idea what a truly scary story is. She doesn’t know that I’ve been to hell and back.

   Pulling at my yoga pants, I shake my head. “I don’t have any scary stories.”

   Some of the kids boo and beg me to tell them something. “Come on, Aubrey. You have to know at least one.”

   Gritting my teeth, I shake my head again. “I don’t have any.”

   “Aubrey—”

   “I don’t,” I cut off Mrs. Jones. Every pair of eyes watch me. Tears start to build and heaviness presses down on my chest. Before the tears can travel across my face, I stand and run. Damnit. I know I’m being a baby, but I can’t think about it. My throat starts to close up—a thick lump that always keeps me from breathing.

   The trees are starting to get thicker, the night growing colder. I don’t care. I just want away from them. I’m not going to be the freak. The one whose demons are always lurking in the distance. I won’t let them know the pain of my past. I won’t be anyone’s pity party.

   When my legs can’t go anymore, I collapse against the ground. It’s cold, hard and limbs are poking me in too many places to count. I focus on steadying my breathing. My therapist once said to slow down, make the world go by your rules. Relax. Closing my eyes, I breathe in and then out several times until I’m calm. I watch the stars shine through the trees. The branches blow in the wind, sending a few leaves falling to the earth with no choice.

   I smell him first. It smells like outside. Woodsy. Thick. I had smelled it today when I fell on him. I wanted to swim in it, bury myself in it, let it consume me inside and out. It feels like my hormones drank fifty energy shots. They’re running irrationally inside of me, holding up a banner saying Fucking jump his bones.

   “I know you’re there,” I whisper, my voice fading against the crickets in the distance.

   A few sticks protest against his weight, and then I feel his body warmth beside mine. “You’re not scared out here in the woods by yourself?”

   It’s not the question that I expected. How are you? What happened? You want to talk about it? “I’m not scared of the woods,” I say. “They’re calming. Safe.”

   “I couldn’t agree with you more. I used to go outside and stay in the woods. Whether I’m hunting, fishing, or walking. I love being outside. There isn’t anything better.”

   I nod, knowing he can’t see. A gust of wind whips around us, blowing my hair away from my shoulder. I shiver as the coldness rolls over my skin, and my arm brushing against his.

   “Cold?” Tanner asks, his voice closer than I remembered.

   “Just a bit. I guess I’m going to head back. I don’t need to get sick.”

   I try to stand, but I feel his hand touch my thigh. The shiver before has nothing on the shiver that jolts through me know. My hormones are going insane. The banners are down and now they’re protesting, sending heat to the most sensitive of places. “Here,” he whispers. I can barely make out his figure, but I hear the rustling of clothes. “Take this. It’ll keep you warm.”

   My fingers wrap around the cloth. “Is this your shirt? You’re going to freeze to death. You keep it.”

   He pushes it back toward me. “I can handle it. That thin little thing you’re wearing isn’t gonna keep ya warm, darlin’. Just a little bit longer and we can go back to the cabin.”

   Gripping the fabric, I slide it over me. His scent almost knocks me back onto the ground by itself. The soft cotton gives me a barrier from the soft, chilly wind.

   I lie back and stare up at the trees. “I’m surprised Jake didn’t come out here,” I say.

   Tanner keeps quiet for a few minutes before letting out a long sigh. His fingers twitch next to mine, and the very tip touches my own. “Did you want him to come out here?”

   I swallow and close my eyes. It sounds more like he doesn’t want me to want Jake. He’s got his wish, because Jake is now the last person I want out here with me. “No way in hell did I want him to come out here.”

   A chuckle rises from his throat. “Good,” he whispers.

   A few comfortable minutes pass by. The wind has dropped a few degrees, and his shirt is starting not to help as much.

   “We need to head back to your cabin. It’s gettin’ colder out here.”

   I nod, keeping my eyes closed for a few short minutes. A light touch travels from the crease of my elbow to my hand. Christ, his hand is so perfectly calloused and gentle. Tanner pulls, helping me to my feet.

   I brush off my pants. “I can’t see,” I say.

   Fingers trail against my skin until our fingers are intertwined with each other’s. “I’ve got you, darlin’. Follow me.” God, who in their right mind could say no to that?

   My heart is pounding. My stomach in knots. His fingers feel so right. They fit each other like they were meant to be. I try not to like it, but it’s far too late. “You lived here your entire life?”

   “Yes, since I was born. I live in San Francisco.”

   “You like it?”

   I shrug. “It’s always so busy, so…crazy. You never know if someone is watching you, because there are so many people around all the time. That’s why I like the woods. They’re silent. Peaceful. You rarely get a surprise.” I bite my lip as soon as I finish. Did I really just say all of that?

   “You think someone is following you?” he asks.

   “Not now, no.”

   He doesn’t pry. We walk in silence, only the sound of the wind and our feet crunching in the leaves.

   When the trees start to thin out, I pray he doesn’t let go of my hand. The warmth settles my nerves. As much as I don’t want to like him, I want him to comfort me, and I know that he’s going to give it to me. And I’m sure as hell going to take it. It’s almost impossible to reject.

   A few counselors are saying goodnight, and a few campers are making their way back to their cabins. I hear Cassie’s voice first. “Just leave her alone. She needs time. Which shouldn’t be hard for you, since you’re already feeling up other girls. Just fuck off, Jake.”

   He grunts. “I love her, Cassie. I’m just…so confused. She’s been so distant. It took me months to get her to let me touch her. Then we’re back to this again? I don’t understand why she is so distant. So closed up. Now, there’s this country guy. He is crazy if he thinks I’m going to let him come in and swoop my girl up. Fucking insane.”

   My cheeks are burning. Tanner stops walking beside one of the cabins and squeezes my hand. He says something softly but I don’t here all of it. I think he called him a fuckin’ asshat. I’m not sure. The look on his face shows me he wants to go out there, but he knows I don’t want them to see me. Cassie cusses him out for a few more minutes before we hear their cabin doors shut.

   “Sorry—”

   “Don’t apologize. He’s the fuckin’ dumbass not you. Come on.” Tanner pulls me toward my cabin and stops on the front door steps. He releases my hand, and I feel the chill start to take over me again.

   “Thank you for walking me back. And thank you for checking on me.” How fucking lame. I bite my lip and stare at the ground. I would be in denial if I didn’t admit I wanted him to kiss me. Hug me. Something. I need something. I crave it. I know it’s crazy but he’s so… tempting.

   He stares at me for a few short seconds. “No problem. I’m here if you need me. You know where my cabin is.”

   I clutch my hands into fists at my side. “Thanks.” Why do I want him so fucking bad? This is