Stroke Of Fear

   “Just get in.” She gets in the driver’s seat, and I have to say it’s sexy as hell. I slide into the passenger side and lean my head back against the seat. She’s mumbling to herself, but she puts the truck in drive and goes.

   I don’t ask her where we’re going. My stomach is churning from taking these curves. “Slow down, I’m gonna be sick.”

   “Well, should have thought about that,” she says, turning up the radio. I don’t say anything else, because she’s right. I’m acting like an ass. Like my father. I should know firsthand alcohol doesn’t change anything. It only hides the pain for a little while.

   We make a few turns and then I know where were going. Aubrey pulls into the field and shuts the truck off. Without saying a word to me, she gets out and goes around to the back of my truck. The blankets are still there and I’m glad. I’m sobering up now and I’m suddenly humiliated. Aubrey is lying on her back looking up at the sky when I jump into the bed of my truck.

   “Lay down with me.”

   Falling to my knees, I lay beside her. She’s quiet, staring up at the sky. Her tanned skin is flawless in the moonbeams casting down on us. “You’re an alcoholic.”

   What? Squeezing my fists, I shake my head back and forth quickly. “No.” I won’t be called that. My father was an alcoholic. I’m broken. “I guess I’m just not as put together as you thought, darlin’.”

   “You don’t have to be ashamed. We’re here to help each other. Heal one another.”

   “I’m not an alcoholic,” I bite through my teeth. She’s quiet. I know she doesn’t believe me.

   “Austin came and got me tonight. He thinks I’m your only chance. How long have you been drinking, Tanner?”

   I sigh. That fuckin’ bastard. “Since she died.”

   A soft sigh escapes Aubrey’s throat. I want to stop it. I don’t want her to hurt because of me. Ever. “Since I meet you it’s dwindled down. This is the first time since we’ve been serious. I came across a box of her things… and I just lost it.”

   Aubrey’s small hand wraps around mine. She doesn’t offer words of encouragement, because we both know they won’t help. She of all people knows that. “What do you do for the pain?” I ask.

   She doesn’t take her gaze from the sky. “Nothing. I just hurt.”

   Christ. Leaning on my elbow, I stroke her cheek. “Thank you for bringing me out here. I needed it. I wouldn’t have minded if you slapped me again.”

   The side of her mouth pulls up in a smile. “Sorry about that.”

   “Don’t be. It made me want you more. I wanted to grab that hand and pull you closer.”

   She turns to face me. “You should have done it. Don’t be afraid to go to crazy places with me, Tanner. Those places are the best for you—for us.”

   “You’re right. How about a swim?” I lean down and whisper against her throat. “No clothes. No barriers. Just us.”

   She shivers, her body pulled tightly against me. “Will you hold on to me?”

   “I’ll never let go.”

   I carry Aubrey toward the water. It’s dark, only the moonlight giving us a path to follow. She is light and soft in my arms. I feel a small nibble against my jaw, and I squeeze her tighter. “Be good, Aubrey,” I whisper.

   She smiles. “I’m not good at being good, Tanner. And neither are you.”

   She has no idea how fucking right she is.

   Sitting Aubrey down on the dock, I slide my hand over her collarbone. I just now realize what she’s wearing. Her yoga pants are formed to her tight ass. The tank top she has on is almost see-through. I can make out the small round edge of her nipple against the soft fabric. Jesus, I’ve got to get myself together.

   We had planned to spend the night at my cabin. Alone. I cuss underneath my breath. I fucked up again. How in the hell does she keep from walking away from me?  Smiling, she lifts her shirt until it’s on the ground below her. She doesn’t have a bra on. Her round breasts are…perfect. They fit my hand so well.

   She knows what she does to me. I see it on her face. She’s not shy. She dropped her towel in two seconds. No shame. And she has nothing to be ashamed of. I’ve wanted to feel inside of her for weeks, but it’s never been the right moment.

   A pair of red, lace panties barely cover her up. She turns to the side and slowly drags them down her hips, thighs, calves and feet. Goddamn. She lifts an eyebrow, daring me to say anything. I have no idea where this girl came from. She was so scared and timid. Now, she’s fucking amazing.

   “Your turn,” she says slowly.

   Fisting my shirt, I tug it off. Then my boots and then my jeans. She glances down at my boxers. “Those, too.”

   “You know, bossin’ me around is pretty sexy.”

   She lifts her shoulders and lets them fall. “I try.” When I’m completely naked, she lets out a long exhale. Her hazel eyes lift to mine.

   “You ready, darlin’?”

   She nods, stepping toward me. “You said you’d take care of me. I need you to take care of me now. I’m petrified.”

   “Doesn’t show.” I grab her underneath her legs and swing her up into my arms. “You’re okay. You’re always safe with me.”

   Closing her eyes, she waits. I take her down the bank to the edge of the lake. It’s freezing when I step in. Aubrey’s shaking in my arms. “You’re so beautiful,” I whisper, taking her mind off the water that’s up to my thighs now. “You’re perfect.”

   She’s pressing into me tightly, her arms wrapped around my neck. “Tanner, don’t let go,” she whispers against my neck, a silent cry sticking in her throat.

   “I’ll never let go.” The water is at my waist now, her ass and back touch the surface. A few more steps and it’s up to my chest. She’s in the water. Her breaths are slow, her body slowly relaxing in my grip. “You feel that?” I ask.

   “I feel it. It’s intoxicating. I spent so many days, hours, weeks and years in the water.”

   “Sometimes the things you love are the things you fear the most,” I whisper.

   A silent tear rolls down her cheek. I press my lip there and kiss it away. “You’re gonna learn to love it again, darlin’. You’re already halfway there.”

   A sob breaks from her lips.

   “The scary things in life are the ones worth keeping,” I whisper.

   Her thick lashes span across her cheek before she glances up at me. “You scare me, Tanner. In the most amazing way. You knew me without even being introduced to me. That’s terrifying.”

   “That’s worth keeping,” I say against her ear.

   She leans into my chest and relaxes as I dip us a tad lower into the water. It’s cool but heavenly against the humid air. Fingernails dig into my back, and I bring her up a bit more. I don’t know how long we stand there wading in the water. She finally relaxes in my arms.

   Silently, I bring her back to the bank and set her on the ground. She’s smiling as she puts her clothes on. Tying her hair into a ponytail, she glances up at me. “Thank you.”

   “No,” I say, grabbing her chin. “Thank you.”

Chapter Fourteen

Aubrey