Chapter Twenty-Two
I lay underneath Aren, stroking the back of his neck with my fingertips and doing my best to bask in the afterglow. His words still echoed in my mind. Could it be more than instinct that made him want me? I hadn’t made being with me easy on him by a long shot. Was he really here in my arms because he enjoyed my company?
And how did
Now that was a horrifying question. Somewhere along the way I allowed myself to
I kissed his hair and closed my eyes. My mind screamed at me to reinforce the carefully crafted wall around my emotions. There was too much at stake to risk losing my heart, too.
Darrien Fonthill lurked out there somewhere, hunting me and searching for Nadya. Hadn’t I learned anything from trusting Sebastian? Adam could be handing Nadya over to Fonthill with the understanding he leave the Pack alone and get out of Reno.
Aren lifted his head and turned those gorgeous, dark green eyes on me. “Your heart is racing.”
“Just thinking I should be doing something to protect my sister instead of indulging my animal urges.”
I waited for anger or frustration, but instead, he propped himself up on his elbows, looking down at me. “You should cut yourself a little slack, don’t you think?” His thumb brushed along my temple. “He doesn’t know where we are. Nadya is safe on the ranch with Adam and half our Pack. You’re not going to be able to help her if you don’t ever rest.”
I stared up into his eyes. “Want the truth?”
He nodded. “Always.”
“I promised myself I’d keep this physical between us. Things get complicated when emotions come into play.” I swallowed my anxiety. “I can’t fall for you, Aren. I won’t. I swore I’d never…” I closed my eyes, unable to face the weight of his stare. “I’ll never put myself in a position where someone can fill my head and heart with lies and hurt me. I learned. I have the scar and a tattoo to remind me.”
His lips brushed my forehead. “Look at me.” I sighed and opened my eyes. His fingers traced my jawline. “Just be with me. That’s all. I don’t have an agenda or a time frame. If it takes fifty years to break down that wall, I’ll be there.” He smiled, and my heart fluttered. “You’ll have to Taser me and run to get away.”
A grin snuck up on me. “I’m not going to Taser you. Never again.”
His eyes sparkled. “That’s the best news I’ve heard all day.” He kissed me, his tongue finding mine in a comforting caress, warming me all the way down to my toes. When he drew back he rested his forehead against mine. “I knew you’d come around eventually.”
“Come around? All I agreed to was no Taser!” I rolled my eyes and laughed.
He grinned and kissed my shoulder before whispering against my ear. “It’s a start.”
I shoved him over, rolling on top of him with a grin. “It’s a good thing you’re kind of cute.”
He raised a brow with a sexy smile. “Kind of?”
Okay, he was far beyond “kind of cute,” but it was obvious he already knew it. I kissed him, laughing against his lips as he pressed his groin up against me. “More? Already?”
He held my hips and growled into another hungry kiss. My body rocked into his, riding him until we were both sweaty and exhausted. And very satisfied. Making love to him did crazy things to me. Sexy was a given, but it went deeper than that when our bodies came together. He made me feel like we were really one, like I wasn’t alone anymore. He’d experienced firsthand that I was far from perfect, and in spite of that, he thought I was just right, flaws and all.
Settled in his arms, his breathing slowed, and his hold on me loosened as he drifted off to sleep. I wished I could sleep, but my brain had other plans. I carefully slid free of his arms and sat up. He seemed so calm while he slept. It was tough not to be jealous. Would I ever know that kind of peace again?
It had vanished from my life the night I lost my parents and became my sister’s guardian.
I stared out the window into the darkness. Darrien Fonthill was out there somewhere. Now that my stalker had a face and a name, my desire to take him down festered, mutating into something bordering on obsession. As long as he lived, my sister and I were in danger.
My gaze shifted to my guns. They were still on the nightstand, within an arm’s reach. Until tonight, I never let anyone else disarm me. Even with Sebastian, I never trusted him enough to let him get into a position to kill me. Aren could have pulled either trigger and gotten the ultimate revenge. I looked back over at him. There wasn’t any revenge in his heart.
His Pack would never be able to forgive me like he seemed to. Besides, from everything I’d been trained to believe, werewolves were all about family and the Pack. Would Aren’s feelings for me change when he found out I couldn’t give him one? We hadn’t used any birth control, and Aren hadn’t asked me if I was on the pill. He had no idea I was infertile. I mentally kicked myself. I shouldn’t care about having a family. I’d mothered my sister—that was enough for me.
But hearing the value of my life had been reduced to nothing because I couldn’t produce offspring left my self-confidence bruised. I wasn’t sure I could handle seeing the look on Aren’s face when he learned he’d never have little wolves to raise if he stayed with me.
Before I realized what was happening, my head had me completely agitated, trying to predict possible outcomes for everything, from why I cared what Aren thought to if the government really have a Special Forces squad of werewolves.
I got out of bed and wandered into the bathroom. After a hot shower, I wrapped myself in a robe and quietly laid a towel on the floor. I focused my mind on simply breathing. After half-tortoise, I moved into camel pose and finally got to my feet. When I turned around, I gasped.
Aren was watching me.
“I didn’t mean to wake you.”
He started to smile. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”
I scooped up the towel to put it back into the bathroom. “How can you stay so calm when the world around us could go to complete shit at any moment?”
“I can’t control the whole world, only myself.” He shrugged. “I trust the Pack. Nadya’s protected. My only concern now is nailing Fonthill. We’ll figure out the rest later.”
I slid back into bed, accepting a warm spot in his arms, and closed my eyes against his chest. “One step at a time, right?”
I felt him nod and kiss my hair. And although I could have brought up our lack of birth control, I kept silent.
I was getting way too fond of the sound of “we.”
…
A shaft of pure sunlight burned through my eyelids and right into my retinas. I covered my head with a pillow, groaning.
“Morning, sunshine.”
I peered out from under my protective covering to see Aren already dressed and standing at the foot of the king-sized hotel bed.
“Why didn’t you wake me up?” I sat up, squinting and imagining how amazing my bed head hair must look.
“Because I figured you needed some rest. As long as he doesn’t know where we are, you should take advantage of it.”
I got up and dressed before attempting to tame my hair. “So am I correct in assuming I’m not welcome at Adam’s ranch today either?”
I could almost see the tension attack the back of his shoulders. “I thought you didn’t want to go there anyway. Didn’t you want to keep your distance from Nadya for now?”
