…
We got back to the hotel without anyone tailing us, a good sign that Fonthill hadn’t realized we switched cars. I parked the Lexus and then Sasha and I hustled inside, keeping alert for any sign of danger. Once we were safe in the elevator, I let out a breath I hadn’t noticed I’d been holding. I took Sasha’s hand, grateful when her fingers wrapped around mine. Just touching her skin settled the storm inside me.
Inside our room, I embraced her, breathing in the scent of her hair. Her hands made their way up my back, warming my skin right through my shirt, loosening the tension I’d been hoarding between my shoulder blades.
She pulled away, looking up at me from under her lashes. “How are you holding up? This was a heavy day even for a homicide detective.”
I went in the bathroom and washed my hands, wishing the guilt would wash away as easily as the grime. “I’m a little messed up, pissed, sad, but mostly grateful to be alive. You sort of take it for granted until you see someone you care about—” I couldn’t finish the sentence. Luckily I didn’t need to. Sasha was already nodding slowly.
“Yeah. The fact that life’s short really hits home when you lose a friend.” Her voice softened. “What you said tonight, for Barry, that was really kind. You’re a good guy, Aren Sloan.”
I crossed to her, kissing her deeply as her words sank into my heart. Her arms tightened around me again and I held her closer, deepening the kiss. Somehow in the middle of all the crap brewing in my life, I’d found her. She was alive, safe, and in my arms.
My pulse raced by the time I pulled back. “I’m going to grab a shower.” I started to smile. “Join me?”
Her eyes sparkled. “I’ll wash your back if you wash mine.”
“Deal.” We kicked off our shoes, and Sasha rocked up on her toes to meet my lips. I pulled her up, walking us both backward toward the bathroom. By the time we got inside, I leaned her against the wall without breaking the kiss, and she made quick work of the buttons on my shirt while I worked on her pants.
Sasha pulled back, breathless. “Wait. Let me take off my holsters.”
Having a gun go off would definitely ruin the mood, so I let go of her and turned on the shower. She lifted the shoulder holster over her head and hung it over the hook on the back of door, then placed her foot on the closed lid of the toilet. Before she could reach down, I rested my hand on her calf.
“Let me.” I knelt down and slid her pant leg up, without taking my eyes from hers. I unbuckled the holster and kissed along the indentation in her leg.
When I got back to my feet, steam billowed from the shower. I placed the gun on the shelf with the hand towels and pulled her close, kissing her neck as I finished unfastening her pants. She stepped out of them and reached for the button on my jeans. I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her hard enough to make my split lip protest, but I didn’t care.
I needed her. Now.
In one fluid movement, I lifted her up onto the edge of the vanity. She gasped into the kiss when her bare legs came in contact with the cool marble. Pushing her knees open, I pressed up against her, making it plain how badly I wanted her. I pulled her top over her head and dropped it behind me while my eyes feasted on the sight of her.
I ran my hands up from her feet, caressing every curve of her shapely legs, then along the hourglass of her waist until the weight of her breasts filled my hands. Her back arched, and I popped the front clasp on her bra. Every inch of her was calling to me. I bent to take her breast in my mouth, enjoying the salty taste of her soft skin.
Her fingers combed through my hair, and I straightened up enough to claim her lips, our tongues tangling as my hands moved lower to peel off her silk panties. I caressed the insides of her thighs until I reached her curls. She moaned into my kiss as my finger entered her. Her legs opened wider, her hips tilting toward me until I couldn’t stand it any longer.
I moved back just enough to get free of my shirt and pants. She pulled me to her, kissing me as she wrapped her legs around my waist. I growled into the kiss and slid inside of her. The steam of the fogged-up room, the heat of her body, her fingernails digging into my shoulders, all of it took me away from the danger and death that had surrounded us all day. We were alive.
Invincible.
Our bodies rocked together, and I lifted her from the vanity, carrying her as I stepped into the shower. The hot water poured over us, washing away all traces of smoke from the fire, erasing the pain of our day. I rested my forehead on hers, staring into her dark eyes. Pressing her back against the shower wall, I worked my hips up into her as we kissed again, over and over.
I wanted to make love to her all night, escaping the world that existed outside of our room. We belonged to each other, no clashing with the Pack, no worrying about a crazed werewolf, just us.
I brought one hand down between us, rubbing and teasing her until I found the right spot. She gasped, moaning my name as her legs wrapped around my waist even firmer. “You’re mine,” I growled against her ear. “Give yourself to me, Sash.”
Her fingernails dug into my shoulders as she rode my hips, her muscles spasming around me until I slammed into her one last time. I came so hard I couldn’t move. I held her tight, struggling to catch my breath, kissing the scar on her collarbone.
She didn’t pull away this time.
Slowly her legs loosened and her feet slid down, separating our bodies. She opened her eyes and I wished I knew what she was thinking. Could she see how much I loved her? Could she see I would do anything to protect her, to make her smile?
I had no idea. So I kissed her before I blurted out that I loved her more intensely and deeply than I ever realized I could love another person. I told myself it was to keep from scaring her.
But deep down, I may have been the one who was afraid.
Chapter Thirty-Two
My legs were wobbly when I stood up in the shower, my insides sore in a delicious kind of way. I wanted to say something, but I couldn’t find the words. I wasn’t sure when I had given myself to him, but somewhere along the way, everything had changed. I was his, and it wasn’t because he had just growled it in my ear.
But would he still want me if he knew I’d never give him a set of cuddly twins? Fear coursed through my veins. I couldn’t stay his.
This was going to hurt.
“Are you all right?” Aren picked up the shampoo.
I shook my head and took the shampoo. “We need to talk.”
The muscles across his chest tightened up, and a voice inside insisted I shouldn’t ruin the mood with what I was about to say.
I took a deep breath and met his eyes. “We haven’t used any birth control.”
“I know…” He looked guilty for a split second. “I’m sorry. I should’ve gotten some protection, I just—”
I covered his lips with my finger. I didn’t want apologies.
“I would’ve insisted on it if I thought I might get pregnant.” I waited for my words to sink in.
Aren shook his head. “I wouldn’t worry about it either, but Lana got pregnant even though Adam never converted her.” His voice softened, and he reached up to caress my cheek. “I wouldn’t be upset…”
I stopped him again, petrified he’d tell me about how much he wanted a family.
“I’m trying to explain…I can’t get pregnant. That’s why I’m worthless to Nero. Even as a traitor they could still kidnap me and force me to give birth to the next generation of jaguar assassins.”
Part of me waited for him to turn and walk away. He didn’t say anything, and the silence tormented me.
I sighed and shook my head. “After I raised my sister, I felt like that was enough. I’m good with it.” My chest
