I tossed and turned until the damned sheets were tethered around my legs. Lana’s scent lingered on my pillows, reminding me of the spicy taste of her lips, the way her nails raked down my back, the way our bodies rocked together. I groaned and sat up, rubbing my hands down my face. I knew I needed to change the sheets. If one of the Pack wandered in here I’d be fucked, and not in a good way.
But I wasn’t ready.
Having her scent around me made it easier to imagine she was still in my bed, not miles away in her hotel room. I didn’t want to forget how perfectly she fit in my arms, the way our bodies had joined together. Seeing her eyes full of passion, hearing her moaning my name, it cemented her into my soul.
She was mine. I had claimed her.
But she had no idea.
How could I tell her? The wolf inside of me stated it as fact, but the human part of me knew nothing in life was black and white. Lana had been right about my family. If I introduced her as my mate, I couldn’t stay here any longer. They wouldn’t accept her into the Pack. I might be able to keep them from physically hurting her, to protect her, but I wouldn’t be able to stand by and watch them treat her like an outcast. A trespasser who shouldn’t be trusted.
No, I would have to leave the Pack behind.
I shook my head with a bitter chuckle. It wasn’t like I really had a choice. Fate was one heartless bitch.
Malcolm had been right. My instincts knew in an instant that Lana was the other half of my soul. When we made love, it wasn’t just a physical need to scratch an itch, at least not for me. My soul reached out to hers, and I felt her love in return. Or I thought I did.
Reality stole that moment from me when I drove her back to her hotel like it had all been a one-night stand. I tried to talk to her, but what could I say? This wasn’t what I wanted. I wanted to wake up in the morning and feel her naked body beside me. I needed to reach out and touch her.
Fuck. I couldn’t take it anymore.
I got up and stripped my sheets from the bed and opened the windows to air out the room. Once I had everything stuffed into the washing machine, I yanked on my jeans. I was a grown man, goddammit. I finally found my mate. I wasn’t going to pretend like I hadn’t. Lana was my future.
Before I could grab a shirt, my cell phone rang. The clock said it was after three a.m. I frowned. No good news ever came this late at night. Snagging my phone off the nightstand, my heart sank when I saw Aren’s number flashing.
“Hey, Aren.” I frowned. “Everything okay?”
My brother’s voice sounded sleepy. “Yeah. I was calling to see if you were all right.”
“Me?” My brow furrowed. “Yeah, I’m fine. Why?”
“I was sound asleep, and then I woke up in a hurry to get out of here. Since I’ve been zonked out for a few hours now, I figured
Maybe it was a twin thing, but if one of us was feeling strong emotions, sometimes the other felt them too, like a residual echo of the emotion.
“I can’t sleep.” That much was true.
“Look,” Aren replied. “I’ll get dressed and come over. Maybe we can go out to the lake. The fish’ll be biting in a couple hours.”
I rubbed my forehead, trying to think. I knew Aren was worried about me, and it killed me to keep secrets from him. Normally I’d jump to go fishing with my brother.
“There’s no reason for you to give up your sleep just because I’ve got insomnia. You rest up. I’ll catch you next time for fishing, okay?”
“You sure?” Aren didn’t sound convinced.
“Yeah. I’m gonna try to sleep a little longer. Thanks for calling. I’m sorry things have been so…off lately.”
My brother was quiet for a moment. “You can tell me anything, Adam. We’re brothers, remember.”
“I know.” I nodded. “I’ll get through this.”
“You better.”
“I will. Night, Aren.”
“Night.”
The phone line went dead, and I sat on the edge of my bed. It was hard to believe how quickly my life turned upside down. I really wished I could confide in Aren. I was dying to tell someone about Lana. But I knew I couldn’t. Not now. Maybe not ever.
Chapter Nineteen
Once I was back in my room at the neon-pink Circus Circus hotel, I opened my laptop and got right to work. The more I worked, the less I would think about Adam, or at least that was the idea. But every time I shifted in my chair, parts of my body ached, reminding me of our lovemaking, which in turn led to remembering the way we shared a candlelight dinner in our underwear and snuggled together on his couch to watch late-night television.
Until he brought me back to the hotel.
I rolled my eyes at myself. No sense feeling bad now. I knew before I went to bed with Adam that we’d have to hide our relationship. But the harsh reality didn’t really hit until we both got dressed again and he kissed me goodbye. He’d insisted on coming up to be sure my room was secure and untouched. After he was satisfied it was safe, I told him I was tired to save myself from awkward small talk. He was leaving. This was something I was used to.
Besides, now that I knew every inch of his body, I hungered for his attention even more than before. I could feel myself getting worked up just thinking about it. No way we could be trusted alone in my room. And he couldn’t spend the night anyway. His business started with the sunrise.
I tried to silence my inner voice. I needed to find out about the Nero Organization and that damned lion head insignia. Sebastian would come for me again soon—I could feel it.
But instead of dreaming up new internet searches, there I was pining for a guy that I knew I couldn’t have. Perfect.
Before I realized what I was doing, I started clicking through pictures of Adam. Lots of the horseshow photos I’d seen on his wall were right there in my Yahoo! image search. I enlarged one and stared at his smile, his green eyes looking right at me. My heart pounded and I shook my head, clicking to the next photo.
I was hopeless.
Then I found a picture of Adam and his father at Lake Tahoe in some fishing tournament together. My eyes welled up with tears. They were laughing at Malcolm’s tiny excuse for a fish. I tried not to dwell on things I couldn’t control. I didn’t know why my parents gave me up, and wishing they hadn’t wasn’t going to change anything. But sitting alone in my hotel room, staring at photos of Adam with his dad made my chest ache.
I didn’t fit in anywhere.
I closed my laptop and wiped my eyes. Hopefully I’d hear from the PI in San Antonio tomorrow. If I could get some information about my birth parents I might be able to find out a little more about their connection to Nero, and therefore my own.
Exhaustion gnawed on the edge of my nerves, but my mind was too active to sleep. I clicked on the television and started flipping channels when the phone in my room rang. I almost fell off the bed. Who would be calling at this time? Adam would’ve called my cell phone.
Frowning, I picked up the receiver. “Hello?”
“I must speak with you.”
Sebastian. I hung up and ran over to engage the security latch on the inside of my door.
The phone rang again. I stared at it, contemplating my options. He knew where I was staying and most
