I turned around Lana was standing in the doorway draped in one of my dress shirts with tears shining on her cheeks.
“Your brother is an asshole,” she whispered. “But he’s right about one thing. I
Part of me wanted to say no. I wanted to tell her Aren was wrong, she was wrong. But seeing Lana sad, and knowing that loving me was hurting her so deeply, sucked all the fight right out of me.
“When will you be back?”
She shrugged, and her dark doe eyes looked up at me. “Tonight you’re a wolf. I’m guessing I should stay away.”
I ground my teeth together, struggling to find a solution to this mess. “You stay inside. Sasha could already be here looking for you.”
“I know what she looks like now. I can take care of myself.”
I walked past Lana to my room and opened a safe in the back of my closet. We weren’t afraid of banks like we were hospitals, but in case something happened to the Pack, we kept a pretty healthy savings in the safe. I went back to the living room and handed her a bound pack of twenty-dollar bills.
“That’s a thousand dollars. Don’t use your credit cards or an ATM. Sasha worked for the police department. I’m pretty sure she can get your electronic information.” Lana took the money, and I pulled her into my arms, breathing in the scent of her hair.
“I’m sorry this isn’t simple, but we’ll start over, okay?” I pulled back when she didn’t answer and lifted her chin until she met my eyes. “Don’t give up on me.”
She nodded and kissed my lips. Her mouth was soft and inviting. I could feel her love flow through me like a warm summer breeze. It felt real—like it was something I could hold in my hand and never let go. Without a word she went in my room to get dressed. She came out with my keys in hand and the wad of cash bulging in her pocket.
She stared at me for a long time, and I wished I knew what was going on her head, wished I could make her smile again.
I started toward her, and she rushed into my arms.
“I’ll see you soon,” I whispered, but she didn’t reply. Instead she just kissed me. In fact to call it a kiss was too simple. It was hunger and passion and love and heartbreak all wrapped up into one deep, slow kiss.
When she finally pulled back I wasn’t sure I remembered my own name. Her eyes lingered on mine for a moment. “I really do love you, Adam.”
“I love you, too,” I replied. “See you soon.”
And then she was gone.
Chapter Thirty-One
I cried the whole way back into the city limits. At least with the roof off of the Jeep the wind dried my tears for me. My hair whipped around my face in a frenzy, and all I wanted was to keep driving. I wanted the hurt to stop a little more with each mile.
I heard every word Aren said when he and Adam had been fighting. And most of the time he was right. Here I was wishing I could have a family like Adam’s, and at the same time I was ripping his apart. But it was so hard to make myself leave him, when every part of me wanted to stay.
The sun was still hidden below the horizon, but the faint glow of daylight was starting to seep across the mountains. It would have been beautiful if I weren’t such a mess. I pulled off at a rest stop and killed the engine. Gradually the colors bled across the dark sky, painting a masterpiece over me. As the sobs and hiccups calmed, rational thought crept back into my mind. First off, I needed to find a place to stay. I couldn’t take Adam’s Jeep when I left town, but I also couldn’t bring it back to him during the day while the other wolves were around. I’d have to wait until sunset. While the Pack changed, I could leave Chaney and call a cab.
Maybe I’d leave Adam a note, so he wouldn’t worry that something more sinister happened to me.
Just the thought of saying goodbye made my eyes well with tears again.
I needed to focus on the future. Sasha was in my future. I needed to stay away from her, and then there was Sebastian. Was he my friend or foe? Hard to say with him. Either way, I couldn’t really trust him. But I had to keep them both away from Adam and the Pack.
I was alone again.
Now that I’d been part of something, an “us,” it was tough to go back to being a lone wolf. I smirked at the euphemism. If I were a wolf none of this would be happening.
I took a deep breath and fired up the engine. I’d get a room to hang out in for the day. Eat, try to write, and then I’d take the Jeep back to Adam’s, call a cab, and catch my flight to Chicago.
Simple.
I sighed as the sun broke the horizon. Nothing was simple anymore.
Chapter Thirty-Two
I watched Luke working Bruce and couldn’t help but smile. I’d been so busy with life, I hadn’t noticed how much he’d grown. Not just in size, but in manner and attitude. Luke used to be a mouthy teen, but seeing him on Bruce, taking him through his gaits, I realized Luke was turning into a damned fine horse trainer. At least I’d be leaving the stable in good hands. Aren could handle the business end with the feed company and the other owners in the barn. Everything would run smoothly after I was gone.
It stung a little to realize the world would still turn without me here. I’d been raised knowing the mantle of leadership would be mine someday. I would succeed my father as Alpha of the Pack. Giving it up wasn’t something I ever saw coming.
Then I saw Lana’s dark eyes in my mind, and my heart warmed. She was worth the sacrifice.
Jason drove up to the barn, and I walked over to great him. We clasped forearms in the traditional Pack greeting. “Thanks for coming by, Jason.”
“How’s Aren? Is he staying off the leg?”
I chuckled. “This is Aren we’re talking about.”
“I know.” Jason sighed, his smile fading. “I was serious about my instructions. His joint was badly damaged from the gunshot.” He paused and lowered his voice. “He may never heal completely.”
My chest tightened up. “He’ll be all right. We heal fast. You’ll see.”
“It’s not the healing, Adam. I did the best I could, but without a hospital and a new metal joint, I’m afraid he may always have a limp. Even when he shifts.”
“Are you saying he won’t be able to run with the Pack?”
Jason looked up toward the house and shrugged. “I honestly don’t know. But if he doesn’t rest it, he won’t stand a chance of the joint repairing correctly.”
“Have you told him any of this?”
“Oh, I told him. Did he believe me is the question you should be asking.” Jason’s eyes cut back to meet mine, and he frowned slightly. “Are you all right?”
I shrugged, wishing again for the millionth time that I could tell someone the truth. “Yeah, I’m okay. Rough night last night.”
He nodded. “I didn’t ask last night with everything going on, but… What happened to you two?”
Jason had these light brown eyes that could look right through you. They made most people uncomfortable
