Alpha. I was now the voice of reason for my Pack. Somewhere the fates were laughing their asses off.
Gareth finally came around to greet the elders, and then faced me. “I’m sorry about Malcolm,” he said clasping my forearm.
“Thank you. I miss Gabe, too, you know”
He glanced at Lana. “Not enough.”
When he tried to step back, I didn’t release his forearm. Instead, I pulled him up close to me. His eyes widened, but he didn’t fight.
“Whatever you think of my mate needs to stay inside of your lips. Do you understand me?”
Gareth was the polar opposite of his twin, Gabe. Where Gabe had a warm smile for everyone, Gareth usually had a dismissive look. He’d never attacked anyone in the Pack, but he was our lone wolf. It was tough to read what was going on in his mind, so I wanted to be sure he understood I wouldn’t tolerate any threats against Lana. If he couldn’t get past that she was a jaguar and the mate of his Alpha, then he could leave the Pack forever. His choice.
“Do you understand me, Gareth?” I asked him one more time.
His eyes looked as black as his hair. He gripped my arm tighter. “Yes.”
He tore his arm out of my grip and turned on his heel to walk out the back toward the pyre we built for Malcolm.
Wyatt stepped in closer. “He’s hurting. His brother was all he had left. He misses him. We all do.”
“I know.” I nodded.
They followed Gareth out, and I walked over to Aren. “Have you seen Jason anywhere?”
Aren scanned the barn and then shook his head. “He pulled in about twenty minutes ago with Jared, but I haven’t seen him since.”
To my surprise, my brother leaned down to embrace Lana. I couldn’t help but smile. If she could win over Aren, the rest of the Pack would surely follow. I just needed to be patient. Not one of my strong suits.
“I need to find him. I’ll be right back.”
Aren nodded. “I’ll keep Lana company until you get back.”
“Thanks.” I kissed her forehead. “Be back soon.”
…
Jason was standing at the pasture fence, feeding carrots to one of the old broodmares. She nickered and nudged his arm for more treats. He pulled out another piece of a carrot from his jacket pocket and stroked his hand down her mane.
“You can’t find a better listener on earth than a horse,” I said as I approached. Jason looked over at me and nodded. His light brown hair was tied back at his collar, and he wore black from head to toe. But he still didn’t say anything. “You’re gonna spoil Sandy if you feed her any more carrots,” I added.
He rubbed the blaze that ran down her forehead. “Sorry, Sandy. Adam said you’ve had enough. Blame him for the carrot shortage.”
He turned to face me, and we clasped forearms. “I’m sorry about Malcolm.”
“I wanted to talk to you about that before the ceremony.”
Jason raised a brow, and I could sense him tensing up. I shook off the strange psychic interference. “I want you to know that I know none of this was your fault.”
He started to open his mouth and then closed it again, pondering. When he finally spoke, his voice was soft and low. “I should have backed you up to take him to the hospital. It didn’t matter that he was the Alpha. I should have
I shook my head slowly. “I don’t think you could have.”
“I could have repaired his liver and stopped the bleeding. I know it.”
“You don’t understand. I think Malcolm was ready to cross over. He wanted to die with the Pack and not in the hospital.”
“I’m a doctor, Adam. Patients live when you give them surgery.”
“You were there when my dad was dying. You saw him. He didn’t look frightened or sad. He looked ready.”
“What are you saying?”
I shrugged. “I’m not sure what it all means, except that maybe he was waiting for me to find my mate so he could cross over to be with his. You know the Pack never would have accepted Lana without his blessing.”
“Even with his blessing it will be hard to win over a few of them.” Jason stopped and met my eyes. “Is she really pregnant?”
I nodded. “Yeah, I’m sure of it.”
“That’s impossible, though, isn’t it?”
“I’ll have to catch you up on her history after the ceremony, but Lana was born into her power.”
His eyes widened. “Also impossible. Only males carry the gene.”
“Until now. Nero was working on a breeding experiment with psychics and jaguars to give birth to females born into their power.”
“So you think because she’s already a shifter, she can carry your child?”
“Just a guess, but after the ceremony, maybe you can check her out and make sure everything is all right?”
He nodded. “Of course.”
“We better get up there.” I said the words, but inside I wished I didn’t have to go. I wished my father were still with me to answer my questions and help me keep my mate safe and my babies strong.
As Jason and I walked back to the barn, I felt very alone, and an icy dagger of fear shot down my spine. I stopped walking and looked back up at the house.
“Everything okay?” Jason asked.
I couldn’t see anything moving, but my senses were on high alert. I took a deep breath, pulling all the scents inside my lungs to process, but nothing specific caught my attention. With a heavy heart, I turned and went back to the pyre with Jason to greet my Pack and say goodbye to my father.
Chapter Forty-Five
Malcolm’s body rested on top of the large pyre. I stood with Adam at his head, and Aren to Adam’s right. The rest of the Pack took places around Malcolm and waited. I looked up at Adam and wished I could ease his pain. His eyes looked older, heavy with the weight of this task.
Adam took a deep breath and looked at each Pack member with a slow sweep of his gaze. He cleansed Malcolm’s face with oils, and then lifted his head toward the stars. “Tonight we celebrate the life of our Alpha, our leader and friend, my father, Malcolm. He was a counselor, a peacekeeper, and a fierce protector of his own. Now that he has crossed over, I accept his responsibilities to the Pack. I will carry the burdens of our safety and battles on my shoulders.” His voice softened. “I will always keep his memory alive in my heart, and I only hope that I will make him proud of our progress. We offer his spirit back to the moon and the night. May his soul be lifted, free to run with the Pack of our ancestors and watch over those he has left behind.”
Aren stepped forward. “I call to our mother, Martha. Please welcome your mate, and guide our father to the other side.”
One by one the Pack members shared a story of Malcolm and touched the pyre with a torch before passing it to the next. When the torch finally reached me, the fire was already blazing hot. I didn’t realize I would have to speak. I wasn’t ready. I barely knew him, but when the weight of the torch was placed in my hand I called out.
“Thank you for accepting me. I wish our children could know their grandfather.” At that moment something inside of me fluttered. I dropped the torch in surprise. Adam picked it up and tossed it into the fire.
“Are you all right?” he whispered in my ear.
“I think they just kicked.”
