up his privacy when he drove to Atlanta yesterday. He had no control over what the cameramen caught and how they might play it on the show. Still, of all the scenarios he had imagined, if by God’s grace he made it through to New York, getting kissed on camera wasn’t one of them. He needed to be more aware, ready for whatever came next.
Especially if Zoey made it through.
chapter
8
Kelly Morgan didn’t feel like herself through the next few auditions. She added a comment here and there, but she wasn’t on her game. Something about Zack Dylan stayed with her. It wasn’t his looks. That act had been for the show, for the ratings. It was something deeper. Something in his eyes.
At the next break, she poured a cup of coffee and took it outside on the terrace just off the audition room. There, with a view of downtown Atlanta and the summer breeze blowing in her hair, she tried to figure out what she was feeling. For the first time in years she stopped reciting good thoughts and actually allowed herself to think.
It was Zack’s genuine smile, the kindness in his eyes. He reminded her of Cal when the two of them were in high school. Yes, that was it. Cal back when their lives revolved around her father’s church and youth group every Wednesday night.
She’d been rebellious even then, whispering during the message and sometimes ditching the group meeting for a trip to the river with the wilder kids. She’d had her first beer at the river and on one particularly daring night, her first kiss with a kid three years older. She hadn’t even known his name. Yes, she had given her parents fits, intent on breaking rules and pushing limits.
Not Cal. He was strong and tall, a baseball player, with a wristband that read
Zack had the same look in his eyes, the one that had defined Cal. As if the windows to his heart were wide open and he really believed that all people, all situations were a part of God’s story. Cal had the look back then and it had drawn Kelly like a moth to a flame. She would’ve done anything to get Cal’s attention. His character and kindness were what turned her around and made her stop acting crazy.
She remembered one Wednesday night after youth group. Cal pulled her aside and looked at her. Straight through her. “You try too hard to be bad.”
Her heart had pounded, her breath shaky from standing so close to him. But she wouldn’t let him see that. She laughed. “What do you mean?
“I mean your dad’s the pastor. You think you have something to prove, running with those other kids and missing group.” He put his hand on her shoulder, his eyes locked on hers. “But that’s not really you, Kelly. One day I hope you figure out who you are.” He grinned before walking away. “You might like yourself.”
Now Kelly took a long drink of her coffee and turned her face to the sun. How long had it been since she’d thought about that conversation? She blinked and stared at the street below. More to impress Cal than anything else, Kelly changed. She stopped trying to fit in with the kids who saw church as a joke, and allowed herself to listen to the messages, to learn and care and grow up. Cal was right. The way so often he had been right. Kelly began to like herself. Her last two years of high school, she and Cal were never apart. He was her best friend and his eyes were exactly like Zack Dylan’s. They shone with hope and a joy nothing could touch, and they told the world he was ready for tomorrow, excited about it.
The look in Cal’s eyes didn’t change until they moved to L.A., until she got an agent and started finding opportunities to sing and perform. Cal had great intentions. He would get a job at one of the studios and develop wholesome programming, a goal he reached. Even now—despite the scandal of the paparazzi photos—Cal was widely recognized as the go-to guy for all things faith and family in the movie industry.
But his eyes were different. He wasn’t the same, and there was no going back.
She breathed in deep and finished her coffee. Then she tossed the cup in a nearby trash can, pulled out her cell phone and brought up Cal’s contact information. His photo was still the one she’d set many years ago. Her favorite from back in high school—the two of them sitting side by side in the back of his truck, tailgate down, tanned legs hanging off the edge, blue sky overhead.
She willed herself to remember the truth, everything that had led to where they were today. There was no way to do that without going back to the beginning. Back when she thought she’d love Cal Whittaker till the day she died.
THE MOVE TO L.A. came when she and Cal were just twenty-three, a year into their marriage. At first their California life seemed magical. Within a year she found a manager and a record deal and a spot on a hit Disney musical show playing one of a trio of girls who made up a fictitious teenage singing act.
The other girls were legit teens, so the producers didn’t want anyone to know Kelly was twenty-four and married. She looked seventeen, after all. And so she removed her wedding ring and hid the fact while Cal took a job in marketing at one of the top moviemaking machines in Hollywood.
Marriage was their secret, and that made it fun. They no longer had time for church, and the messages of youth group felt like part of another life. Quickly Kelly Morgan became the most-liked, best-known singer of the trio, a household name across the country. In addition to the show’s ratings, her music took over the charts. A poster of her from the show hung in the rooms of teenage boys everywhere.
Cal liked to tease her when they were at home. “Every guy wants to be me.” He’d put his arms around her waist and hold her close, swaying with her in the kitchen. “We’re Hollywood’s best-kept secret,” he would tease her. “As long as you stay with me.”
She would smile and kiss him, passionate and full-bodied. “There could never be anyone for me but you.”
Sometimes rumors arose that Kelly was dating Cal—and people would question their age difference. But her publicity team worked to never reveal her age. If people assumed she was in her teens, so be it. Those were the days before Internet and instant access into the lives of celebrities. Secrets could be kept.
Even so, the news came out when the show was in its last season. By then Kelly and Cal were in their late twenties and Cal had worked his way onto the marketing team for some of the biggest movies being made. Kelly’s publicist drafted a release that read simply,
After a few years of mediocrity and lackluster performances, Kelly decided to take a break from the world of entertainment. When she turned thirty she was pregnant with Kai, and two years later little Kinley joined them. Meanwhile Cal was finding success in the faith-and-family film industry. Kelly had a housekeeper for the laundry, chores, and cooking, but she took care of the kids. Until Kinley turned three the domestic life was enough for Kelly.
But one day she looked in the mirror and no longer recognized her image. The media still talked about her as if she were a teenage star, but she clearly had aged far beyond that. One week the paparazzi snapped a photo of her pushing Kinley’s stroller while Kai walked alongside. She and her son held ice cream cones, and the picture showed Kelly mid-lick. Her face looked fat, a few chins marking the fact that she’d let twenty extra pounds creep onto her small frame.
And that was that. She hired a nanny and a trainer and a dietician. Six months later, she looked a decade younger and made headlines by publicly daring the paparazzi to capture an unflattering picture of her. They never did.
The memories stopped for a moment. Yoga and strength training were a regular part of her life now, the weight long gone. She was in better shape than she’d been in high school. Definitely better than when she’d been her most famous, during the run of the hit show.
A year later Kelly knew her marriage was in trouble. By then Cal regularly criticized her for the changes
