fascination for her had lulled him into a false sense of security, and he had to face the consequences of his distraction.
Gripping her upper arms, he pulled her closer. “Nellie, why won’t you tell me everything you know about Sir Thaddeus? Why the devil are you still protecting him after everything you’ve suffered? Why?”
Instead of crumpling into tears, as he’d half-feared, she braced herself against his hold, her eyes flashing with green fire. “Protecting him! I’m doing nothing of the sort. I loathe and despise Sir Thaddeus. I curse him with every last breath in my body.” The ragged hoarseness of her voice left him in no doubt of her feelings.
“Ah, so you admit to knowing him, at least.”
“Yes, all right. I do know him, though I wish to God I’d never laid eyes on him.” She paused, her throat working as she swallowed convulsively. “He is a bully, a thug, a monster. He will stop at nothing to get his way.”
Julian felt her tremble in his arms, saw tears spring to her eyes. She’d been such a pillar of fortitude, but here she was on the brink of breaking down. A delayed reaction, he thought. Nothing to be concerned about. But the physician in him could not control his other, less noble urges. He slid his arms around her and held her in a loose embrace.
“He wanted you dead, Nellie,” he murmured. “Why was that? What did you do that drove him to such lengths?”
Gulping, she shook her head, emotion robbing her of speech. In an effort to comfort her, he found himself rubbing her back in slow circular motions, and the feel of her body through the soft fabric of her dress sent a tingling warmth shooting through him.
“I’m sorry for distressing you,” he said. “I thought you might be ready to talk, but I see—”
“No, you’re not distressing me.” His nostrils filled with her scent—almond oil and citrus and femininity. She sniffed and dashed the heel of her hand against her damp eyes. “It’s just…I go to pieces whenever I think of what that brute did to me, and—and I’m reminded every time I catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror…” Her fingers scraped over the track marks on her cheeks. “I’m a freak, an abomination—”
“Don’t say such things. Do you hear me? I won’t have you debasing yourself like that.”
“I can’t help it.”
“Would you rather I’d left you to die out there? Would you?”
“I don’t know. Perhaps it would have been better.”
“I can’t believe you’re saying that.”
“But look at me. I’m a creature of the shadows. People shy away from me at the first glimpse of my face.”
“Do
She chewed on her lower lip, frowning. “No, but…but you’re a doctor. You’re used to seeing deformities.”
He sighed, his attention caught by the generous swell of her lip beneath her white teeth. The tingling warmth spread through his entire body, coalescing in his loins. “I am a doctor, yes, but I am also a man, and when I look at you I see a strong, vibrant young woman who has much to live for.”
Nellie gave a dry laugh. “Thank you, Doctor. I know you’re only trying to lift my spirits, but thank you anyway.”
“You think I’m dissembling?” Impatience and desire stirred his blood. How could she be so blind? Before he knew what he was doing, he slid his hands up and cupped her face. Her lips parted in surprise. Emotion overpowering self-denial, he lowered his head and pressed his lips against hers. He’d intended to give her just a friendly buss, but the soft generosity of her mouth ambushed him. Heat flared through him. The kiss deepened, he revelled in her sweetness. He ran his fingers through her thick curls to cradle her head all the better to taste her lips. She quivered against the length of his body, but she did not pull away, and her tacit consent emboldened him to wrap one arm around her waist and pull her even closer.
Lifting his head a fraction, he saw she’d shut her eyes tight as if she wanted to divorce herself from reality. But her lips were soft and rosy and inviting, and he couldn’t resist them. He kissed her mouth slowly, startled by the sensations she aroused in him. She was like no other woman he’d ever caressed. She was unique, precious, and he wanted to suck the marrow from every moment of the embrace.
Trailing his lips over her cheeks, he dropped kisses over her cicatrix, eager to memorise every bump and dip, but she instantly jerked her head away.
“Don’t, I beg of you. Please, stop.”
Her hoarse rebuke was like a douse of cold water. Julian released her. She pressed her hands against her cheeks, and the sight of her anguished expression made his heart contract.
“Nellie, I…” For the life of him he couldn’t think what to say. He ploughed his fingers through his hair, tearing at the knots, as if to punish himself.
“How can you…” Her fingers crept over the choppy skin of her cheek. “Doesn’t this…disgust you?”
“No!” He stared at her. “I don’t make a habit of kissing women who disgust me. Rather, the opposite.” He paused before reaching out and gently peeling her fingers away from her face. “I admire you, Nellie, and I admire your looks.”
“How can you?” She shook her head. “I’m a travesty compared to what I was before…”
“But I didn’t know what you looked like before.” He chafed her frozen fingers between his two broad palms. “And besides, it’s what lies beneath the skin that counts. It’s how a woman conducts herself that’s more important than any fleeting beauty.”
Several moments passed as she gazed at him before she slipped her hand free. “That is true, and in that regard I haven’t conducted myself well either. I should not have allowed you to kiss me, Julian, and I should not have allowed myself to enjoy it so much.”
His heart leaped before the rest of her words sunk in. “What do you mean?”
The delicate bone structure of her face stood out in stark relief as she clenched her jaw. “I mean, it was wrong of me to allow such intimacies between us because I’m not a free agent.” She held his gaze. “You see, I am already married.”
Chapter Six
“Married?” Julian shrank away from Nellie. His frozen rictus could not have been more horrified if she’d sprouted a second head. “Who are you married to? Surely not…” A vein pulsed in his perspiring brow. “For the love of everything, tell me you are not married to Thaddeus Ormond.”
“N-no,” she choked out. “Not Sir Thaddeus, but his son. I am married to Phillip Ormond.”
His eyes darkened to black, fathomless pools. He wiped the sleeve of his jacket across his forehead. “Phillip Ormond. I see.” Hauling in breath, he swung away and stalked over to the brandy bottle on the sideboard. The clatter of glass against glass sounded unnaturally loud in the hushed sitting room. “May I pour you a drink?” he asked, his voice hoarse.
She nodded and took the tumbler he proffered with hands that shook uncontrollably. Reckless, she swallowed an incautious gulp, wincing as the brandy lit a fiery streak down her throat.
“You told me your name was Nellie Barchester.”
The accusation in his statement made her bite her lip. She smoothed down the skirts of her dress as she fought to regain her self-control. “I’ve only been married a few weeks. I—I haven’t yet become accustomed to using my married name.” In truth, there was much about married life she hadn’t grown accustomed to. Being called Mrs. Phillip Ormond had been the least of her concerns.
“So. Are you going to tell me how you came to be married?”
He stood away from her, his expression austere, his entire bearing hard and distant. Her heart sank. Until then, she hadn’t realised how much she’d counted on being in Julian’s good graces, but now his forbidding countenance chilled her to the core, causing the words to stutter out of her.
“Yes,” she whispered, clasping her tumbler of brandy. “I shall tell you everything…”
