His smile turned in to a full-scale smirk as he said, “I know that you want my body. You don’t need to confess, sweetheart.” Declan burst out laughing as she stared at him with her mouth open. “I’m sorry, Ellie, I couldn’t resist. You looked so nervous that I thought you needed a good laugh. Now what do you need to tell me?”
Ella could only stare at the man sitting in front of her. He was actually making jokes. He seemed almost happy. Could he need her as much as she needed him? What he was offering her went against everything she had been raised to believe. He was as good as promising her that there would be no future for them. Had she waited for Mr. Right for this long only to settle for Mr. Right-now? If the only feelings between them were physical, why was she so drawn to him? Was she strong enough to battle his demons and save the man underneath it all?
Question after question swirled through her head as she gazed into the laughing eyes of the man before her. If she were truthful with herself, she would admit that the battle had been lost the moment he walked through her door. There was no way she could walk away from what he was offering. It might not be what she had always imagined her first love to be, but she knew in her heart that Declan would change her life forever whether he stayed for one night or for the rest of her life. She crossed her fingers that he didn’t run when she answered his questions. “I, um . . . don’t have much experience with what you’re talking about.” Declan rubbed his finger over the palm of her hand in a way that sent tingles across her skin. “Well, all of it, I guess. I’ve gone on dates, but it didn’t go much further than that.”
He extended his other hand and raised her chin, forcing her to make eye contact. “Are you a virgin, Ellie?”
Why wouldn’t the floor open up and swallow you when you really needed it? Ella would have been grateful for a crack even big enough to fall through. She had never really had this conversation with anyone other than Beth and certainly never a man. Maybe it was great to make it through your teenage years and still be a virgin, but when you were nearing thirty, it seemed more like a commitment to becoming the weird cat lady.
“My parents were pretty protective and didn’t let me date while I was in school so I never had many opportunities to . . . you know.”
Declan took a deep breath and suddenly toppled her off her chair and onto his lap. She gasped in surprise at the feel of his hard thighs against her bottom. He wrapped his arms around her and tucked her head under his chin. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of, honey. I suspected as much. You’re a beautiful woman, but it’s obvious that you don’t use that beauty the way most women do. I’m going to be noble just one time here and offer to walk away if you don’t want this. You know I’m not offering you anything permanent so if you want your first time to be with the man you marry, then I’ll step back and let you go. I’m only going to make that offer once though, Ellie, so be damn sure before you answer.”
Ella pulled back and met his gaze without wavering. “I want you, Declan. You are the only man who has ever made me feel this way, and I’m not walking away.”
Declan let out an unsteady breath then he circled her lower lip with his fingertip. “Thank, God, because that would have probably killed me. He groaned as she wiggled on his lap. “Baby, please stop moving like that before I break my promise and take you right here. I want to show you all of the ways to give and take pleasure before I’m inside of you.”
Ella could feel herself blush again at Declan’s frank words. Despite his protests though, he seemed powerless to resist when she slid her hands into his hair and pulled his head slowly toward hers. She was dying for another kiss like their last one. She wanted to feel his tongue against hers and lose herself in the heat of his mouth. She placed her lips softly against his and waited for him to take the lead. But other than gripping her hips tightly, he didn’t move. She tentatively parted her lips and darted her tongue against the seam of his mouth. A rough growl erupted from his throat as he took control of the kiss. He nipped, sucked, and plundered every corner before pulling abruptly away.
“Ellie, we need to stop. I’m about two seconds from bending you over the kitchen table. And, as much as I’d love that, I’d rather that not be how your first time happens.”
Ella whimpered in protest and tried to pull him back to her, but he held her hands in his and denied her the contact that she was so desperately seeking. Sticking her lips out, she said, “Well, damn,” and then promptly covered her mouth with her hand.
Declan chuckled at her obvious frustration. He kissed her forehead and pulled her toward the door. “I’ve got to get going now. I would love to stay longer, but I can’t risk it right now.” Giving her what she knew was a rare uncertain smile, he asked, “How about we go to dinner tomorrow night?”
She grinned and quickly agreed.
As if he couldn’t help himself, he gave her a quick kiss on the lips and gruffly said, “Lock the door behind me, Ellie. I’ll see you at the office tomorrow.”
She turned the lock behind him and sagged against the door.
“What dirty details are you talking about, Ella Marie?”
“Um . . . hi Mom,” she said weakly.
Never one to let a subject be changed easily, her mother repeated, “What dirty details?”
“Oh . . . well, it’s just a television show that Beth and I both watch. She didn’t get a chance to see it tonight so I figured she was calling to see what happened.”
With a loud sniff of disapproval, her mother said, “Honey, I have told you not to watch those trashy shows. There is nothing but smut on nowadays and a young, impressionable girl doesn’t need to see that.”
“Mom, I’m twenty-eight years old. I haven’t been a girl for a long time. You watch the cooking network all of the time and those women dress like s—”
“Ella! What has gotten into you tonight? I think you need to come home next weekend and spend some time with your father and me. Everyone at church has been asking about you. It’s gotten rather embarrassing to keep making excuses as to where you are.”
Ella wondered if her mother could see the irony of lecturing her about going to church while she admitted in the same breath that she lied about why she wasn’t there. She was smart enough not to mention that particular thought out loud though. She had learned years ago that things went better if you didn’t argue or make waves. Now, she tended to avoid these types of conversations with her mother altogether if she could. “Mom, it’s getting late and I need to get to sleep.”
Luckily, her mother wasn’t one to question it when you pretended to be sleepy at eight thirty. “Okay, honey. You know if that place is too much for you, your father could find you something that is less stressful. I don’t think those people there are very good influences on you anyway.”
Ella picked up the fork still sitting on the table from dinner earlier and pretended to stab herself with it. Why must her mother be so judgmental about everything and everyone? All she seemed to care about was how people in her church and the community viewed her. Appearances were everything to Dorothy Webber and she seemed willing to go to any length to keep them up. She couldn’t even imagine what her mother’s reaction would be when—and if—she met Declan. Only one word came to mind—horror. There was no way she would ever want him to sit at her dinner table.
She had tried her best to raise her daughter to be a doormat and constantly nagged now because it wasn’t working anymore. By moving out and getting a job on her own, Ella had successfully cut the apron strings and her mother didn’t like it one bit. Until Ella knew if there was any kind of future with Declan, she needed to keep them
