one.”
I have always had a habit of zoning out for long periods of time, which is probably a side effect of my past. If you imagine yourself anywhere else, you just might forget about what’s happening in the present. While I don’t get beat anymore, I still find myself getting lost in thought all of the time. It’s easy for my mind to slip in and out. Lane likes to make light of the subject, but I can tell it worries him.
“How long was I out?” I ask, as I begin putting the remaining mugs into the cabinet.
“I’m not sure, but it was a while. I finished unpacking the truck, and then Chuck and I sat here waiting for your return.”
Moving here has been throwing me off lately. “Damn, I really need to snap out of it. How am I supposed to pay attention in class again soon?”
“I hate to say ‘I told you so,’ but you shouldn’t have gotten a taste. Ever since winter break, it’s only gotten worse. You should have already learned your lesson from your disaster visit up to see him. You need to go out there and just bang someone new. It’ll help, I swear,” he chuckles, while giving me his devilish grin. I know he’s full of shit because he rarely lets any guy near me.
“I told
“Hey, I wanted to see where my girl grew up,” he says, shrugging his shoulders.
I still can’t believe he convinced me to go all the way back to Texas with him for winter break this past year. He’s been asking to go since we moved in together my freshman year because he wanted to see where I came from. I never had any desire to go back and I still don’t understand what he wanted to see.
It’s not like I have any good memories from there. Just two pissed off people I left behind and that’s only because I took Chuck, not because they miss me. I like to think of taking Chuck as my way of sticking it to my dad without actually having to see him. Besides, Chuck’s happier here anyways, since he never has to scrounge for food with me.
Jax and I have only been living in California for about five months now, and I already miss Texas like crazy. As we drive through our little town, I think about how this place is home to me. California is fun, but I’m ready to be done with school so I can get back here.
I’ve been looking forward to our trip home for a while, but more so in the past couple of weeks. Cole’s always locked away with Quinn and Jaxon is so far up Em’s ass I don’t even recognize him. I love Em to death, and she is by far the best thing that’s happened to Jax, but damn I’m jealous.
I want a girl riding next to me in my truck or on the back of my motorcycle. I want a girl to just lie around in bed with me for hours on a Saturday. When I see the way my brother looks at Em when she’s not paying attention, I want that. Yeah, I’m in college and I should be out there living it up with a different notch on my belt every weekend, but that’s just not me.
“Don’t think I’ve forgotten we’re getting you laid on this trip, man,” Jax interrupts my thoughts.
“I think I can take care of myself,” I reply, while watching the shops pass by out the window.
“Nah, you’re a cranky bastard. It’s happening,” Cole says from the backseat. “We should hit up that party tonight at Hunter’s lake house.”
“Or we could just find you a chick right now,” Jax challenges, pointing to the back of a brunette walking down the street.
“You mean the girl with another dude’s arm wrapped around her?” I ask.
I can’t help staring at her ass though, and there is something about a set of long legs on a girl. I’m tall, so I like my girls tall as well. All that bending over shit that Jax and Cole do with their girlfriends is not for me. I’d still like to be able to stand up straight when I’m seventy.
“She is pretty hot though, I’ll give you that.”
As we drive past them, my eyes are glued to her. “Fuck, isn’t that Audrey?” Cole asks.
“Who the hell is she with?” I growl. “Have you ever seen him before?” My head is still turned and my eyes can’t seem to stop looking at her.
“I don’t give a damn who she’s with,” Jaxon states in an annoyed tone and continues driving forward. Meanwhile, all I want him to do is turn the fuck around.
“She looks...good…” I try to say only to myself. When she’s too far away to see, I turn back around in my seat. I notice that Cole’s too quiet, and when I glance back at him, I see that he’s studying me. Inquisitive bastard.
Two hours into the party, Jaxon’s being a pussy and leaving because he needs to call Em. Cole is already passed out drunk on one of the couches, which just seems like bad news for him. I should probably call Quinn later and tell her that he’s okay. We ended up taking two cars because I figured at least one of them would need to report in to their ball and chain.
Now that I’m alone, all I can think about is the dude with his arm around Audrey earlier today. Jax and I are not small, by any means. Thankfully, we got our build from our dad’s side of the family. When my dad died, he was thirty-five years old, but he was six-three and could still bench-press double his weight.
That guy with Audrey today looked threatening. Not saying I couldn’t take him; I’ve had plenty of experience my whole life fighting with Jax. He’s probably tried every move in the book on me, and I’ve always been able to counter them. And why the hell am I thinking about taking out Audrey’s boyfriend anyway?
For the first time in years, I consider getting wasted. I went drinking with Jax and Cole a few times when I was seventeen but hated the stuff, so I haven’t touched any alcohol since. However, it seems to help others when they want to forget hostile thoughts, and Audrey’s boyfriend is definitely making me feel aggressive tonight.
She seems to be a recurring weak point for me. When she came out to California to see Jax a couple of months ago, it took everything inside of me to stay away from her. I knew that if I let myself even stop to talk, I would end up grabbing her and holding her hostage in my room. Then I would definitely have some uncomfortable explaining to do.
A bubbly, short blonde stumbles up next to me with two plastic cups in her hands. She tries to mesh her body up close to mine, but her head only reaches my chest.
“Here handsome, I got you a drink,” she says, with her face tilted all the way back so she can look me in the eyes. She smiles and I can see that she’s already wasted. I grab the drink and without looking to see what it is, I put the cup to my lips and swallow the contents inside. Shit, this is terrible. It’s a mixture of liquor that someone tried to disguise with Coke, but it’s still fucking awful. With my mouth closed, I cough down the burn. This crap is poison, but the spacey, warm feeling that follows entices me to grab another. And another.
Soon after, I grab the blonde’s hand and drag her out to the bonfire near the lake. Hunter has his truck parked down by the dock with all of his doors open and the music blasting. She leads me into the middle of the crowd of dancing couples and I spin her around so her back is against my chest.
I’m impressed by how fast the alcohol reaches my system, and I guess this would be the one time in my life when I’m considered a lightweight. Mentally, I’m scanning through my textbooks, trying to determine my blood alcohol concentration level, but it’s all a jumble. All I know is that I want to go one way, but my body starts shifting another. This blonde chick is grinding against me and it feels fucking great. Right before I grab her to spin her around, I send out a silent ‘thank you’ for the fact that Jax left and Cole is out for the night.
She turns on her boot heel and looks up into my eyes. I cup her face haphazardly and can practically taste her arousal on my tongue already. She wants me. She continues dancing in front of my hips with her hands on my chest, while I scan the area for a place we can hide together. This is going to be quick.
Looking over Blondie’s shoulder, I suddenly catch the stare of big, brown eyes. I try to make myself focus on anything but those long, tan legs under her short, red sundress. It’s too late though. She notices that I’ve spotted her, and she reaches out to snatch a beer from some guy’s hand. Without removing eye contact, she places the glass bottle against the sides of her face, as if she’s trying to cool off from being overheated. She can’t turn away and neither can I. We both want each other. We always have, and I just might be drunk enough to finally let myself indulge.
I finally notice that the guy next to her is the ripped-up dude she was walking through town with earlier today. When he clutches her chin in one hand, turns her to face him, and shakes his head while mouthing the
