Beautiful Broken Mess

the next morning would have been enough to convince me it was a terrible idea.

“You do understand that we don’t all wear cowboy hats, ride horses to work, and line dance, right?” I laugh.

“You don’t? Huh…” Danny says, sounding disappointed.

“I’m gonna grab a drink,” I point to the bar. The thing I’ve learned from the few times I’ve been able to hang out with these guys is to always have a drink in your hand. If you’re not drinking, they’ll pester the living shit out of you until you get one. I shoulder my way through the people up to the bar.

I catch the cute bartender’s attention and call out, “Coke in a short glass.”

“Got it, sweetie,” she winks.

I lean up against the bar with my elbows bent and take in the crowded room. This place isn’t bad. I notice a set of pool tables upstairs, a dance floor on the first floor, and tall tables surrounding it for people to hang out and drink. The music is obviously country, which I prefer. And the girls are all wearing short dresses and cowboy boots, which I love.

“Y’all are sweet, but I don’t drink,” I hear a sultry female voice say over the music. An honest-to-God southern accent pulls me from my people watching. At that moment, the bartender comes back with my drink in a tumbler. Perfect, this could easily pass for a Jack and Coke. I hand her a ten and tell her to keep the change. She tries to chat me up but now that I’ve heard it, I’m on the hunt for that voice.

“Since you won’t let me buy you a drink, let me at least have a dance.”

“Okay, just one though,” I hear her say flirtatiously.

I watch a guy in a button-up Affliction shirt guide her toward the dance floor, and I know exactly who’s under his arm. I should have known from the first “y’all” she spoke. The douchebag twirls her once they reach the wooden floor and I see her laugh. I instinctively follow after them so I can get an up-close view and lean up on the railing that surrounds the floor. Why is she here again? And why does she still look so damn beautiful?

There’s something about knowing how it feels to be with a certain girl, yearning for it, and knowing you can’t have her. I’ve had Audrey; she should be a distant memory at this point. But I still crave every dip and curve of her skin. My body knows where she fits perfectly against me and it won’t be satisfied until it has her again.

“Staring pretty hard at my girl,” a deep voice booms from behind me. I already know who it is. Lane. I wouldn’t forget that guy.

Without turning around, I say, “I guess you get off on seeing other guys with your girl. You sure as hell suck at keeping her yours, though.”

He chuckles and positions himself right next to me, beer in hand. He leans his elbows up on the railing and looks out after Audrey. Just like I’m doing. “I don’t know… I think I do a pretty damn good job, seeing as she’s been living with me for over three years now.”

I flinch at the idea of her living with any guy. Unwarranted jealousy flares through my veins and I can’t stop the bombardment of images in my head. What would it be like to have Audrey all to myself, to be able to touch her whenever I wanted, and to see her sleepy face every morning? I rub out an ache in my chest and continue to watch the loser with his hands on her hips, trying to pull her in closer.

“How can you stand it, man? I mean, how the hell can you watch other guys put their hands all over her?” He has to have known what I was up to over winter break when I dragged her off alone. It’s probably best to leave that be. No reason to bring up the best damn sex of my life, which just so happened to be with his girlfriend.

When her dance partner dips her backward and I catch him trying to look down her shirt, I begin rubbing my chest again. And despite what’s happening on the dance floor, Lane’s watching every move I make.

“You act like a lovesick puppy, and yet you’ve never given her the time of day.”

So she’s talked about me to him? That shouldn’t feel as good as it does. “You two have a weird relationship,” I express.

“I guess it would be weird if I were sleeping with her. But I’m not.” My fists clench, because I’m not sure what to think of his words. “She’s like my little sister and I love that girl to death, meaning I would destroy any asshole that breaks her heart.”

The threat isn’t lost on me. “Can’t break what was never yours.”

“That’s where you’re wrong,” he replies.

Just then, Audrey dances past us and our eyes connect as her idiot partner spins her around. Her head whips back to look again and I can see the confusion on her face, probably wondering why Lane and I are talking. Lane wiggles his fingers at her and she gives him a tense smile.

“She’s worried I’ll hurt you,” he says, still maintaining forward focus.

“I’m sure you could,” I state, “but she should also be worried that you would get hurt while trying.” He throws his head back laughing and it pulls Audrey’s confused glance back to us. I almost want to laugh with him, because her partner is starting to get annoyed at her lack of attention.

“There’s too much shit between us,” I declare.

“Maybe if you took your head out of your ass long enough to hear what she has to say, you’d change your mind.” When I give him a questioning look, he continues, “Have you ever let her talk?”

I shake my head back and forth because it’s true. If I let her talk, she could convince me to do just about anything. Even betray my own brother by dating his ex-girlfriend, who cheated on him and got pregnant by another man. Shit… that’s a hard pill to swallow.

“Fuck…” I continue rubbing because I have a feeling Lane’s about to make me feel like the biggest asshole known to man.

“She came up here last year to talk to you, not your dickhead brother. But you guys wouldn’t know that, because you never let her say more than two words before cutting her off or ignoring her completely.”

Huge asshole – check!

“Oh, and before your ego grows any bigger… she’s been living in California since the day after she graduated high school. She didn’t make this huge trek out to talk to you last year. I sure as hell didn’t want her to waste her time driving even two minutes to see you.”

“You both live here?” I ask, shocked.

“You either quit staring at her like she’s holding your next breath or you go talk to her,” he says, ignoring my question and pushing off the railing.

“You’re kind of an asshole, you know that?”

“Nah, just protective of my girl.” I don’t need to turn around to see that he’s walking away. I guess this conversation is over. I wish he would fucking stop calling her his girl though. It’s unnerving how one guy can make you grateful that he’s around and enraged at the same time. If it weren’t Audrey that stood in between us, I think Lane and I could be friends. I can appreciate his no-bullshit policy.

The song is finally ending and I can already see Audrey’s partner trying to persuade her to go another round. Not gonna happen, buddy.

- Six -

AUDREY -

Pete, or Paul, or was it Parker? Whoever this guy is, he reeks of cologne. My nose is stinging badly, my eyes are about to start watering, and my head’s beginning to pound. The entire dance I’ve been begging for the song to just end already, and now I need to tell him to take a hike. He got his one dance. I also need to find Lane ASAP to figure out why he was talking to Jace.

The guy with a name that starts with P is still holding onto my hands as I’m trying to gently pull back. The upbeat country song we were just dancing to starts to blend into a slow song. Hell. No. I can’t have my face that close to his body or I’ll pass out from the toxic fumes. Why do guys insist on spraying themselves down with this stuff? It’s not a magical pheromone that’s going to have the ladies chasing you.

“Mind if I cut in?” Jace’s voice growls from beside us.