I looked at her. She was grabbing her mask.
‘Are you okay?’ I asked.
‘Can’t breathe!’ she gasped. Her eyes were wide and crazed – she was in some kind of panic attack.
She was clawing at her mask, gasping for air.
I dragged her away from the wall, back into the store, into the Home Improvement aisles.
‘Look, it’s okay here!’ I said, gambling that the air would be clean enough – that we’d sealed the leak enough. I ripped my mask off, the tape tearing at my hair and skin. ‘The air’s okay.’
Astrid took off her mask and took in a long, ragged breath. ‘I’m sorry,’ she wheezed. ‘I just started to think about Jake and I felt trapped and then I couldn’t breathe —’
‘It’s okay,’ I said. And before I’d even opened them for her, Astrid was in my arms.
‘Oh, Dean,’ she said, and she looked up at me. ‘I feel bad for him but he’s not the guy for me.’
And God help me, I kissed her.
Her lips on mine felt first as soft as rose petals. Then her lips parted and her mouth was hot and merged with mine. It was, ahhh, the best feeling I had ever felt.
The thing is, it was in me. The type-O aggression. It was there. I could feel myself getting more powerful with every breath, like my blood was growing stronger in my veins. It wasn’t as strong as when I’d been outside, but I could feel the O was gaining force. Suddenly I felt certain that it was going to win and get me under its control, so I tried to push her away from me.
But Astrid Heyman took her two hands and grabbed my head by the hair and brought my face to hers and kissed me.
Her hands were all over me.
My heart – my brain – my soul knew it was wrong.
But my mouth wouldn’t say no and my hands wouldn’t stop touching her. Her back, her belly, her breasts.
My bloodlust wanted her and her bloodlust wanted me just as bad.
So there on the floor of the table linen aisle, we took each other.
It was better than anything I had ever felt, moving in her and through her. My soul and hers exploding inside each other. I don’t know how to describe it. Or if I even should.
We were overcome with madness together. Overcome together.
I’m pretty sure Jake saw us.
In any case, by the time we came to our senses again – by the time we got our clothes back on and our masks back on and by the time I was thinking straight again – he was high.
He had let the kids out of the Train and they were ecstatic that he was back.
They were cooking s’mores over the camp cook stove. I could see the remains of a hot dog and baked beans meal.
Luna sat at his feet, wagging her tail blissfully.
Astrid and I were sweaty and mussed.
We took our masks off as we approached them.
A weird kind of lie, I guess. That we’d had our masks on the whole time. That we hadn’t gone insane and had sex.
‘Hey, you two,’ Jake slurred, his back to us. ‘I was so hungry, we just cooked up some franks and beans. I hope you guys don’t mind.’
‘The wall’s back up,’ Astrid said, bustling off her sweatshirt and tossing the air mask on the empty futon couch. ‘We need to reinforce it, but it’s pretty solid.’
‘Look at my gal. She can do anything,’ Jake said to the kids. ‘I missed her so much! I missed you all, of course, but ’specially my gal, Astrid!’
‘We missed you, too, Uncle Jake,’ Caroline chirped.
She and Henry were toasting marshmallows over the blue butane flame.
‘Look,’ Henry said. ‘I got mine perfect golden.’
‘That’s how our mom likes it, just golden with no burnt parts,’ Caroline added.
‘Takes patience, though,’ Henry commented.
‘And a steady hand.’
‘I just like mine burned,’ Chloe said, putting her marshmallow into the centre of the flame. ‘Look – I’m the Statue of Liberty!’ She held her blazing marshmallow up high.
‘Careful!’ Astrid snapped. ‘You’ll burn someone.’
‘That’s always the risk!’ Jake said.
He looked up at us and his head lolled off to the side and he caught it and grinned even wider.
I’d seen him do that before. He was high.
‘The air’s fine here. No symptoms. Right, kiddos? Chloe’s feeling just fine. We must be far enough away from the hole.’
‘Come on,’ Jake slurred. ‘We got Stay Pufts aplenty.’
‘I’m going to go change clothes,’ Astrid said. ‘I feel dirty.’
Jake watched her leave, a glassy look in his eyes.
‘Sit down, Dean,’ Jake called. ‘Stay awhile.’
He was definitely high on the same stuff he’d been taking before. Jake turned to the twins.
‘Henry, d’ya know what they say about assumptions?’
‘What?’ Henry asked, bright as a penny.
‘Chloe, do
‘No. What?’ she asked.
‘Assumptions make an ass out of
They all thought that was hilarious.
‘Dean knows what I’m talking about, don’t you, Dean?’ He elbowed me in the ribs.
‘Jake, what are you talking about?’
‘Here I am, assuming everything will be the way I left it. But of course, how could it be? I’ve been gone for, what, two days? Two frickin’ days?’
‘Is “frickin” the f-word?’ Henry asked.
‘Yep,’ Jake answered. ‘It sure is.’
‘Told you,’ he said to his sister.
Caroline yawned again.
‘I think I’d better check your bandage, Caroline,’ I said. ‘And it might be time for your medication.’
‘Aw, don’t go,’ Jake said.
He tried to clap his hand on my shoulder and missed somehow, toppling over.
The kids thought this was the funniest thing ever.
‘Oh, Uncle Jake!’ Caroline squealed. ‘You’re such a card.’
‘Uncle Jake?’ I asked. ‘Why’s he an uncle, all of a sudden?’
‘We decided,’ Henry said. ‘Astrid’s the mom and you’re the dad and Jake’s the uncle.’
Oh, boy. Why are kids so…
To tell the truth, I liked their idea of the perfect Greenway family. But their timing sucked.
‘Yeah.’ Jake laughed – a tinge of desperation thrown in there. ‘They got it. They got it right. I mean, really, that’s about the long and short of it.’
He got to his feet. He was moving slow, like an old man. A drunk old man.
‘Kids,’ he said. ‘You’ll have to excuse me. But I’m so tired I feel like I could cry blood.’
And he staggered back into the berths.
12 ALEX
