cave in. One of the comrades from my section was wounded with a splinter in his backside.
On the 14th, two days previously, I had thought it was the real bombardment, but what the Russians were giving us now was far, far worse. I did not think that anyone could survive. Every bit of earth was being churned over. I jumped in the holes where there had already been an explosion, as every soldier knows that no two shells land on the same spot. The minutes stretched into hours. At last after three hours the firing eased up and moved on behind us, but we knew that the second part was on its way. Now we could shoot back again, being no longer exposed to the shelling.
Men were running back from the front line, in a state of shock and without their weapons. Panting and trembling, they called out to us: ‘Ivan is coming!’
Only a few had survived the shelling in the front line and been able to flee from the Russians, who were following close on their heels. One could not see them as it was so misty that you could hardly see ten metres, but you could hear them. The ‘Urrahs!’ were getting louder. I had handed in my machine gun for repair the day before because of the constant jamming, so Staff Sergeant Buchal sent me back to the company command post to get it. I found it, although the place was deserted, but when I came out again I could hear Russian voices in the immediate vicinity, and could not go back. The Russians had already reached our trenches. There was only one way out and that was to the rear. I ran westwards as fast as I could, but I had my heavy machine gun to carry. Apart from this, I had a box of ammunition, the Russian sub-machine gun, my pistol, hand grenades and all my equipment on me. Clearly I could not run very fast. The Russian voices were getting closer and soon they would be catching me up. I had to discard something. First went the Russian sub-machine gun, then the hand grenades went into the dirt, then the ammunition box, and finally I wanted to throw the machine gun away.
Suddenly I heard called from behind: ‘Stoi! Ruchi verch!’ The machine gun flew away in a high curve. I tugged at my ammunition pouches, but could not get them off. As I turned around I could see the outline of my pursuer, who already had his rifle up to his cheek. Then he lowered it again. ‘Damn it, Tillery!’ he said, ‘Bring the machine gun with you!’ It was no Russian, but a comrade from my platoon, Hans Kaldekowitz, who had a head wound. When the Russians arrived, they had not been able to get away in time and were overrun. Then they had mixed in with the advancing Russians and gradually got ahead. Later a large part of the company was to meet up again.
The next line was the rear defensive line, which ran between Sietzing and Klein-Neuendorf behind a four metre-wide ditch with 400 metres of open field in front of it, a very good defensive position.
Meanwhile the Russians had penetrated Klein-Neuendorf with their tanks. At the last minute some civilians escaped laden down with bundles of their possessions. The sun dispersed the mist at about 1000 hours and we could see the tanks. The anti-aircraft battery behind us then opened up and shot several of them. Here I met up again with several of my company, who had taken up position on the road to Klein-Neuendorf. It remained quiet in our area until about noon, although the sunshine had brought out the Russian ground-attack aircraft and fighters. The Russians had broken though in the neighbouring sector and we could see their tanks and trucks about two kilometres to the north. They were overcoming all resistance with the mass of their tanks and the following infantry were occupying the ground.
For a short while we had to occupy a sector further south. I went past a dugout that opened toward the Russians in which a soldier was sitting. I had gone past about 50 metres when it received a direct hit from an anti-tank gun. I went back to help the soldier, but he had vanished, having simply been blown to pieces.
As we were in danger of being surrounded, we had to move back again during the course of the afternoon. We could see how far the Russians had progressed from the columns of smoke rising in the sky wherever they were. In Wuschewier, to where we withdrew, we stopped for half a day. Then during the night of the 16th/17th we retreated again without getting a moment’s sleep. Everywhere on the streets one could read the message: ‘Berlin remains German!’
During the evening we prepared a new position but it was hardly finished when we had to withdraw again. We could only withdraw with difficulty, for the Russians had spotted our retreat and were trying to stop us with artillery fire.
The following morning, the 18th, we occupied positions on the north-eastern edge of Neu Trebbin, where our regiment gathered. Only 34 assembled, all the rest being either dead, wounded, captured or missing. Our company was still comparatively strong with about ten men remaining.
We deployed ourselves in front of the village. The Russians soon arrived and made an attack, coming to within a few metres of our positions and we even captured one. Suddenly the four self-propelled guns that had been supporting us vanished and now the Russians started coming at us with tanks. As we could hardly defend Neu Trebbin with less than forty men, we withdrew. We already had two men killed and several wounded in the village.
We withdrew about three kilometres over open fields until we came to a canal about ten metres across that ran between Neu Trebbin and Gottesgabe, and here we deployed once more. The self-propelled guns from Neu Trebbin reappeared in our support but, when the Russians attacked with tanks in big numbers, they had to be blown up as they were unable to cross the canal.
We pulled back to another ditch, where we were stomach deep in cold water, as otherwise the Russians would have seen us. My camouflage suit was soaked through and running with water, and I still had to carry my machine gun and box of ammunition, so I took off my padded trousers and threw them away; after all, it was spring. I could hardly get out of there. With every step my feet sank deep in the mud.
The Russians soon spotted us and brought the ditch under mortar fire. One bomb landed in the ditch and killed three men, including Corporal Kalteis. Then we had to cross an open field. The Russians were firing even when individuals crossed, using mortars – and accurately. At the end of the ditch lay a man wounded in the leg, who asked me to help him across. Although mortar bombs landed close, we managed to get across unscathed.
Then we came up against the military police and everyone who had a weapon had to go back into the line, but staff clerks and supply personnel were allowed to go, a factor that did little to raise our fighting morale.
I had become separated from my unit again. Although I knew that they were close by, the military police refused to let me find it. I was given a confused, thrown-together section to deploy along a line of trees in front of Gottesgabe. We had communication to the rear by means of a runner. When I sent a runner back with a message, he failed to reappear. I sent another runner back with the same result, so I went back myself to find out what was happening. I did not find a soul. They had all gone back without telling us.
A unit of 15 and 16 year-olds of the Hitler Youth had made an attack from Gottesgabe and been driven back with heavy casualties. I was deployed with my section along the eastern edge of the village. During the night the Russians thrust their way into the village with tanks and we had to withdraw.
We deployed again about 200 metres west of Gottesgabe. Suddenly about forty men came toward us. We opened fire, thinking they must be Russians, and by the time we discovered they were Germans, two of them were already dead.
At dawn on the 19th we occupied a position on the heights on the edge of the Oderbruch. It was a good position and we could see far over the valley. As it became light, we could see the Russians with masses of tanks and thousands of soldiers in and around Gottesgabe, and we were only a hundred strong. Slowly the tanks and the soldiers started moving. When they came to about 200 metres from us, we opened fire from the heights.
The Russians immediately started digging in while their tanks moved up. Then the tanks fired on us, later also mortars and anti-tank guns. When the fire became stronger, we withdrew, for the Russians had already bypassed us on either flank.
During the withdrawal I became separated again from the rest of my regiment, but then met up with five other men from my company. Properly formed units no longer existed, for they had either been split up or wiped out. Many had fallen. We six reported to the commander of a light anti-aircraft battery that had been deployed on the eastern edge of Ihlow. We deployed ourselves about 100 metres forward of the battery in a ditch that ran past a grocery. The village had been evacuated of its population only a few hours before. For once we could eat well; everything we longed for we found here. Abandoned cattle were roaming about everywhere.
When the first Russian tanks appeared the 20 cm anti-aircraft guns opened up and shot up several of them. As the Russians closed in on the village, we moved to the western edge, where there was a large manor farm, behind whose enclosing wall we took cover from the heavy shelling. We were also constantly fired at by low flying
