Light in Mourning

him, but he was pretty good at sticking by my side and the parking lot was nearly empty this late in the off-season anyway.

Charlie trotted around some cars and out of sight. I rolled my eyes and followed him around the back end of a car.

“Charlie!” I rounded the bumper. “Charlie, come on.” I slapped my thigh to get his attention.

“Tristan,” a soft voice carried on the wind. I lifted my eyes from his wagging tail and saw a dark mane of chestnut hair cascading around his big dog head and gorgeous brown eyes that had been keeping me awake at night peering back at me.

“Georgia?” Was I seeing things? Was she really here, stooped over in a parking lot, petting my dog? The girl who’d consumed my thoughts the past three fucking months. Had I wished her into existence? Was I going insane? “What are you doing here?” I asked, my mind a whirlwind of emotion—confusion, anger, and pain the most prominent three.

“I came back,” was her simple answer. What did she mean she came back? Was she here to stay? Was there a problem? Had Kyle done something to her and she was running? I knew I didn’t trust the guy the moment I’d laid eyes on him. The way he acted around her—as if he owned her, talked down to her—made my stomach crawl.

“To the beach house? When?” I squatted and patted Charlie as I spoke.

“Beginning of November.”

My mind computed the time.

Over a month?

She’d been right under my nose for over a month and I hadn’t noticed?

I searched my memory for a sign she’d been at the beach house, something I'd missed, but I found none. Maybe I hadn't been paying attention. Maybe I'd been walking around in a drunken stupor too much of the time to see the girl I wanted so desperately right next door.

Anger boiled in my stomach.

She'd left me.

She'd lied and said she'd be back, then she hadn't even picked up her phone. I was so bitter, so angry that this girl who'd consumed me all fucking summer was back. I wanted to hold onto the anger—she'd proven why I'd hit the road at any sign of commitment in the past; women had the ability to suck you in, like a siren call, and then walk away without another glance back. I'd learned that lesson the instant my mom had left and my dad had spiraled into his dark place.

What pissed me off even more than seeing her standing in front of me, looking so beautiful and serene, was a sliver of hope in my heart that we could be us again. I wanted her but I didn't want to want her. I wanted to hold onto the anger and pain and blame her, because being numb was easier than opening up.

“You’ve been here for more than a month?” I asked numbly.

“Yeah. I’ve been fixing up the place for winter.”

“You’re staying? Permanently? What about Kyle? Is he here?” I took a quick glance around the parking lot. I was as good as gone if he was here. I was sure I’d sock him in the jaw if I ever saw his face again, just for the mere fact that she’d chosen him, been sharing his bed since August.

“I’m staying, hopefully forever. I don’t think anything could pull me away from here, not anymore. And Kyle isn’t with me.” She frowned before she finished. “We’re, not really . . . together.”

What? Suddenly rage boiled inside me. Why hadn’t she called me? I’d come to terms that she’d chosen Kyle in August, but she was back; she’d left him. So why hadn’t she called?

Because she doesn’t want you. Just because she finally walked away from him, doesn’t mean she’s choosing you. What could you give her? Heartache? A tainted past? She deserves so much better. 

She did. I knew it.

I stayed silent as the pain radiated through my body.

“What about you? Why are you here? And whose dog is this? Oh God, are you with Briana or Kelsey or whoever?” I watched her eyes take in the parking lot, looking for someone.

“The slut parade?” An amused smile lit my lips at the term she’d coined this summer. “No, I haven’t seen them since I’ve been back.” That was a lie, but only a white one. I wished I’d never seen Briana that night in the grocery store, and it hadn’t led anywhere anyway, so no point in letting Georgia’s mind travel that path.

I straightened my legs and watched her stand across from me. My eyes took in her face like I was starved for her beauty, because I was.

Completely.

I'd gone without her for nearly three months. Three months without a single word.

I wanted to take her in, soak her up, and take a piece of her with me when I left because I knew just because she was here, and I was here, didn’t mean she would choose me. But if there was one thing I wanted her to know it was this: I would fucking choose her. I would always choose her.

“How long have you been back?” Her dark chocolate eyes swirled with emotion.

“I never really left, I guess.” I couldn’t tear my eyes from hers.

“What? Since the hurricane?” Confusion flashed across her face. Shit, I knew how this made me look. Like a pathetic stalker. Well, too bad, because I was. I came back because I couldn’t leave. There, I’d admitted it. I’d come because if I couldn’t be with her, I wanted to be in the place we’d been together.

“Well, I went back to Jacksonville and when the hurricane cleared out a few days later, Gavin drove me back to get the boat. But when I got here, I couldn’t leave again.” I couldn’t leave because of you, Georgia. Are you getting that? “I stayed on my boat for a while until I managed to work something else out.”

“You moved here?”

“I bought a house, Georgia.”

Her eyes narrowed on me.

“I bought the cottage. Down the beach . . .” I could see it all coming together for her. I could see her eyes blazing with recognition. The realization that I’d come back for her.

“The cottage? The dog, the stranger—that was you?” she murmured.

“Umm . . . not sure where you’re going with that . . .” A smile lifted the corner of my lips. Her eyes flickered down to my mouth and stayed there.

God, she was still affected. My heart hammered in my chest and I yearned to reach out and take her in my arms. Emotion flooded my brain because I’d fucking dreamed of holding her again for three long goddamn months.

Get it together, man. Don’t fall apart. Cool and calm. Don’t ruin this. Even if she wants to just be friends, you need her in your life. 

But what if she didn’t want that? The evil little guy on my shoulder taunted me. What if she never wanted me in her life again? Could I deal with her living down the beach from me and never see her? Jesus, that would kill me. This girl had the ability to lay me open and she didn’t have any idea.

“A few weeks ago, I saw someone walking a dog, and they went into the cottage. That was you?”

“I take Charlie for a walk every morning.” I gave Charlie a scratch behind the ears because I needed the distraction. If I was going to try to remain calm and cool, I needed a distraction from her sweet, heart-shaped face staring back at me.

“You bought the cottage?”

“Our cottage? Yeah.” Fuck, there I said it. Our cottage. Because it was our cottage. It was the way I’d been thinking of it from the moment I'd walked down the driveway and saw it open up before me.

“I can’t believe you were right there,” she muttered.

“And you were too.” I wondered how things would have gone if we’d run into each other a month ago. Would we be together now? Would we ever again? Would she let me in?

Then the sky opened up above us and she squinted her eyes in the most adorable way, so adorable my heart tore open and I knew this was it, but I couldn't let it be. I couldn't let her walk away again. I was scared shitless she’d turn me away. A squeal escaped her throat as the rain poured down harder and she dodged around