Hard to Handle

And the horrible, awful truth was that she understood why. And she didn’t blame him one bit. He’d been nothing but transparent and loving and she’d been her normal, obstinate self, hiding behind her Great Wall of No Emotion. Which may have been cute when she’d first met Aiden. May have been endearing after they’d spent a little more time together. But now? Now that sex was in the picture…now that Aiden had declared his love for her…yeah, not so much.

Perry cleared his throat and Sadie mumbled something about having plans tonight. She gathered her things, left the building, and climbed into her car. But instead of going home for the fourth lonely night in a row, she drove to Crickitt’s house. Maybe if the pool was installed, Sadie could drown herself in it.

She knocked on the front door, still unsure of what she’d say, and pretty sure Crickitt already suspected something was up. Aiden was Shane’s cousin, after all. Word had to have traveled.

Crickitt opened the door, dressed in a casual cotton dress. “Sadie. Hi.” She frowned, gave Sadie a once- over. “Were we supposed to go out tonight?”

“No. I just stopped by.”

Crickitt conked her head. “Brain not functioning lately, I’m telling you.” She stepped aside and Sadie walked in, admiring what Crickitt had done with the place. She’d moved into Shane’s monochrome world and infused it with color. From the paintings on the walls, to cherished knickknacks, Crickitt’s eclectic style was showcased in each room.

They crossed to the kitchen, and Crickitt opened the narrow wine cooler on the far wall. “Red or white?”

“What will get me drunk the fastest?”

Crickitt slid her a smile and extracted a bottle, using an electric wine opener to uncork it. She poured Sadie a glass of red and joined her at the counter. “All right. What’s going on?”

Sadie looked at her glass and frowned. “Aren’t you having any?”

Crickitt shook her curls. “I have to write up a proposal tonight. I’d better not. So…?”

Sadie took a drink from her glass. The wine sat in her mouth, flavorless, tasteless. Like everything else in her life since Aiden had walked off her stoop and rode off into the rain. Even the sun didn’t feel warm on her skin anymore.

She blinked over at Crickitt who sat, eyebrows elevated in anticipation.

“Aiden and I had sex,” Sadie blurted. “A lot of sex.”

Crickitt smiled and inhaled, probably to squee, but then her face fell. “You don’t look happy about it. Was it…bad?”

“What? No. It was amazing. I mean, I don’t have anything to compare it to, but if it got any better, he would’ve had to poke me with a stick when he finished to see if I was still alive.”

Crickitt laughed but sobered quickly. “I don’t understand. You look miserable.”

“I am miserable.” Sadie gave her the rundown. The abandoned ballroom, Aiden’s bedroom, the tree house, her apartment…all the way up to the part when he demanded to know how she felt about him. “I couldn’t say it, Crickitt. I couldn’t say it because I don’t know. I knew once…but then Aiden hurt me so badly…” She shook her head. “And Trey…I thought I was in love then, but how could I love someone who would do that to me?” She took a breath. “Aiden”—saying his name hurt, but she said it again anyway—“Aiden keeps saying it. That he loves me, that he loves me so much. He looks into my eyes and into my soul and—”

Sadie’s breath hitched and fat tears escaped her eyes. She covered her mouth as she sobbed. Ah, there they were. She knew they were in there somewhere. A few minutes under Crickitt’s shimmering, doe-eyed stare and Sadie loses all control. The woman could bring water from a rock.

Crickitt palmed Sadie’s shoulder. “Of course he loves you, Sadie,” she said matter-of-factly, her voice terribly calm. Sadie blinked away the tears blurring her vision in time to see her best friend smile. “Aiden would never have proposed if he didn’t love you with all he is.”

Sadie shook her head. “Which is why he left when I asked him if we could see each other l-less.” Oh goody, the hiccup-cry. Because this wasn’t humiliating enough as it was.

“He left?”

Sadie nodded, and—what the hell—cried some more. “Have you heard from him this w-week?” She mopped her face and wiped her hands on her skirt. “When he left my apartment, it was raining and he was on the bike and he was s-so angry.”

She’d been sick with worry but refused to call. Aiden was safe. He was always safe. Except for the one time he wasn’t. And what were the odds of him getting into two wrecks?

Crickitt bit her lip. She looked worried. Which made Sadie panic. “Has Shane seen him this week, Crickitt?”

“If he did, he didn’t mention it.” She was quick to add, “But Shane doesn’t see him every week.”

Sadie slid off the stool, holding onto the counter to keep her legs under her. “What if…”

“No, honey.” Crickitt stood, too, putting her hand on Sadie’s back. “Don’t even think it. We would have heard from Mike. Or from Landon. Or from Angel or Evan. We would know by now.”

Okay. Okay, that made sense.

Crickitt rubbed circles on Sadie’s back as Sadie’s world sharpened to a very finite point. Where her world’s edges had blurred earlier, now she saw them. Crystal clear.

“I love him, Crickitt.” Sadie waited for the overwhelming feeling of dread to wash over her, to tie her into knots and cause her life to tailspin out of control. The dread didn’t come. She felt light, not heavy. Full, not empty. “I want to marry him,” she said, trying out the words on her tongue. Again, the heaviness didn’t come. She smiled, laughing through her tears.

Crickitt was crying. “Oh my gosh, I’m so glad,” she sobbed, waving her free hand to dry her tears on her cheeks. “I always pictured Aunt Sadie and Uncle Aiden, and now—” Her eyes widened, her face blanked. “I mean…” She shook her head, even as her hand strayed to her stomach.

Sadie’s mouth dropped open. “You’re pregnant?”

Crickitt nodded and Sadie looped her arms around her best friend’s neck. “We’re not supposed to tell,” Crickitt said, her voice muffled by Sadie’s hair. “Not yet.”

Sadie pulled back. “I won’t tell.” She thought of her sister’s baby, and how poorly she’d behaved when she heard the news. She had some making up to do in that department. But first, she had to go and find the man she loved. Which scared her to death.

Sadie held on to Crickitt’s shoulders, hoping to extract some of Crickitt’s strength for herself. “Do you think he’ll forgive me?”

“Only one way to find out.” Crickitt smiled.

The front door opened and closed and Sadie turned to find Shane home from work. He dropped his jacket over the chaise lounge in the front room and strode over to where they stood.

“Hi, honey,” Crickitt said.

He flicked a look from Crickitt to Sadie. “You told her. I win.” He held out a hand. “Five bucks. Aiden was in my office yesterday and I didn’t—”

“Aiden?” Sadie’s heart dropped. “You saw him? How is he?” She balled her hands into fists.

“He loves you,” Shane said simply. He lifted his eyebrows at Crickitt. “I’m going to change.” He kissed Crickitt’s lips, then paused in front of Sadie, bending over so she was forced to meet his amber-colored eyes. “Go to him, Sadie. One way or the other, you have to put the bastard out of his misery.” Then he kissed her forehead and squeezed her arm. Shane headed to the other side of the house, calling over his shoulder, “Five bucks, Crickitt. Pay up!”

“He’s right,” Crickitt said. “You have to go to him.”

Sadie swallowed. And she’d thought admitting to herself she loved Aiden was hard. Telling him would be even harder.

Chapter 17