‘That was fan tastic,’ the boy breathes, and I have to move back subtly or risk being engulfed by partially digested Spanish onion. ‘So are you coming tonight, or what?’ I feel Carmen’s forehead wrinkle up, me doing it. If something’s on tonight, Tiffany and her posse haven’t bothered to keep me informed, which is typical because Carmen always finds out about the good stuff way after it’s already happened.
‘Uh, I …’ I draw out the syllables hesitantly to give someone a chance to fill me in on the details.
‘You have to come,’ purrs one of the girls standing beside Tod, a horsy-faced dirty blonde in tightly layered tops and even tighter jeans, with impossibly long and perfect peach-coloured nails. ‘If only to put that Tiffany Lazer of yours in her place.’
‘She’s getting on our … nerves,’ adds the other girl I don’t know, a crop-haired, biker-chick brunette wearing way too much heavy navy eyeliner.
‘Thinks she’s better than all of us,’ the flame-haired Brenda interjects waspishly. ‘When clearly she’s not.’
‘So will you come?’ Spotty Boy leans forward expectantly. I watch his Adam’s apple slide up and down as I step back a fraction.
‘Um, sure,’ I say, assuming a polite smile. ‘How do I get there again?’
‘Brenda will pick you up,’ replies Tod quickly. ‘Won’t you, Bren?’
‘Sure,’ says Brenda, with a sidelong look at the girls she’s standing with. ‘It’s not like I don’t know the way to where you’re staying.’ Her laughter is forced. ‘Eight thirty, then.’ She smiles in a way that doesn’t reach her extraordinary violet eyes.
‘Eight thirty,’ I agree, not sure what it is I’ve agreed to, but I’m no coward. Bring it on.
We leave the assembly hall in formation, all of them flanking me as if I might somehow change my mind and do a runner.
Chapter 12
It’s eight thirty, and Ryan’s escorting me out through the front gates after dinner, following the usual elaborate ritual of imprisoning the dogs behind the steel side gate so they don’t rend me limb from limb like an ancient Roman sacrifice. He tackles the padlock and chain and we’re finally standing outside his house on the footpath.
All this time I’ve been conscious of his hand at my back. He’s looking the goods in a beat-up dark leather jacket, faded tee and lean indigo jeans. But I give good poker face, and he has no way of knowing what I’m thinking. Carmen’s heart feels like it’s just broken sub-nine seconds on the 100-metre sprint.
‘You don’t have to stay,’ I tell him tightly, looking up and down the street for Brenda’s car.
‘It doesn’t bother me either way,’ Ryan drawls.
‘Stand under the streetlight, yeah?’ We move under it just as Brenda pulls up in a sleek hard-top convertible in an unmissable bright yellow.
Her flashy transport clashes terribly with her hair, but it’s not up to me to point that out. I realise suddenly that maybe Ryan’s here to see her under climate-controlled conditions rather than keep me any kind of company.
I’m not sure what to feel about that.
Brenda kills the engine then looks coolly through her windscreen at Ryan, who stares back equally intently from the kerb. No one seems game to break eye contact first and I’m trying hard not to laugh as the seconds tick by. I wonder how these two left things when they finally called it quits, what was said. From Brenda’s expression, maybe what was thrown.
Finally, she slides her long, slim legs out of the driver’s seat. She’s wearing slinky black patterned tights, a barely there skirt in jewel green, and a purple cashmere pullover that goes unbelievably well with her huge, violet eyes. Boho chandelier earrings brush the tops of her narrow shoulders. Her razor-cut, shoulder-length red hair is styled to within an inch of its life so that individual strands don’t move in the chill night breeze.
She’s perfection.
‘Well, look who’s here,’ Brenda says icily. ‘It’s been a while.’
‘Brenda Sorensen,’ Ryan replies through his teeth.
There’s a strange look on his face that might be regret.
Or maybe indigestion, the evil part of me whispers.
‘Where have you been?’ Brenda continues, barely acknowledging me, though it is me she is ostensibly here for. ‘You’re like a ghost these days.’
‘You know what I’ve been up to,’ Ryan says warily, taking a step closer, out of the circle of light he’s placed us in. ‘There’s no point acting as if nothing’s happened when I know she’s out there somewhere. I mean, school’s always going to be there …’ And she won’t. He doesn’t have to say it. I can read it in his face. Since when did I get so good at doing that?
Together, they are a total contrast in height, colour, personality. If Brenda has a nice, soft side, I’m yet to see it. But she sure rocks her outfit and towering fringed heels. Tonight, she’s beautiful. One of those people for whom moonlight does wonders. I’m beginning to see the attraction she might have held for him. She’s like a lethal wisp of steel beside him, crowned with fire. I can see how life with someone like Brenda would never be … boring.
‘I don’t mean to be insensitive,’ Brenda breathes finally, running the fingers of one hand lightly up Ryan’s jacket front as if I’m not standing right there, ‘but Lauren would have hated seeing you this way. Running in circles. Going nowhere. I miss you. It might not seem that way, but I do.’ Her voice drops a notch. ‘There’s nothing left to prove, you know.’ Her tone is almost pleading now and something softens in the harsh lines of Ryan’s face. ‘You’ve done everything you can. No one could have done more. She would have wanted you to get on with your life.’ Brenda’s pale hand lingers a moment longer on the collar of Ryan’s leather jacket before falling gracefully away.
‘How would you know what Lauren would have wanted?’ Ryan says bleakly.
‘Because she was my best friend,’ Brenda replies softly. ‘And maybe now you’re beginning to see that you’re wasting your time when the people who are still alive need you.’ She steps even closer to him, her dainty profile tilted up towards his, earrings jangling softly. ‘We haven’t won a game since you quit on us, the forward line’s a mess. And nothing’s been right since we —’
‘We’ve talked about this,’ Ryan sighs. ‘Speaking of circles.’ Brenda leans in but then stops short, her attention suddenly arrested. She frowns. ‘Why are the dogs barking like that?’ Good pick-up, I think acidly. Sorry to spoil your touching little reunion, but it sounds like an insane asylum to me, too, from where I’m standing.
Ryan stiffens, recalled to my slight presence in the pool of light at his shoulder. ‘They’re a little sensitive to —’
‘The perfume I’m wearing,’ I jump in. ‘It’s a doozy.’ I’m about to move forward towards Brenda’s car, fully appraised of the fascinating situation between them now, when Ryan steps backwards heavily onto my foot, pinning me in place.
‘Hey,’ I growl, heart back under control and doing a steady eighty-two beats per minute. ‘I’m walking here.’
‘I’ll drive,’ he says, his weight still keeping me in check.
Carmen’s toes are beginning to throb and I twist my foot angrily, only to have Ryan stomp down harder. Our eyes clash for a moment.
The look of delight on Brenda’s face is unmistakeable.
‘You will?’ she almost squeals, her violet eyes wide.
‘Does that mean …?’
‘It means I feel like a bit of company tonight,’ Ryan replies, swinging back round to face his ex-girlfriend, his heel still firmly pinning me down. ‘It’s been way, way too long. You two wait right here. Don’t move a muscle.’ He releases Carmen’s foot and I flex it, feeling the blood come rushing back.
‘And I mean wait, pipsqueak,’ he hisses, for my benefit alone. ‘You’re no good — in the dark.’ And suddenly I understand. All along, I thought his attention was squarely focused on the fashion plate in front of us when really
