out of the quagmire of being in love with two people at the same time. She wished the solution didn’t make her feel like digging her own heart out of her chest.
A teardrop trickled down Amber’s cheek and into the corner of her mouth. “That’s a really limited way to think about it.”
Reese groaned. “It’s reality. Why don’t you get that?”
Amber’s expression hardened. “I do get that you think that way. I’m saying you don’t have to.”
“What do you mean?”
Amber wiped the tear away roughly, smearing her eyeliner across her cheek. “I mean you could date both of us.”
Reese stared at her in astonishment. “At the same time?”
“Not at the same time,” Amber said, as if Reese were being dense. “I’m not that into guys. Although David is cute, but—”
“No,” Reese said. For a second a kind of awful hope had burned in her, but she stomped on it with both feet. “How would that even work? Like I see you one week and I see him the next?”
Amber leaned her head against the wall. “Maybe. It’s not that unusual. Not for us.”
Reese was confused. “For us? You mean for the Imria?”
Amber nodded.
Reese’s eyes widened. “Well, it’s pretty unusual for humans.”
“That’s because humans are jealous all the time,” Amber said, sounding frustrated. “They don’t have any idea what their partners are thinking because they can’t do
Reese took a shallow breath. Her pulse was still thrumming within her from kissing Amber. She could still feel her, ghostlike, beneath her hands. “I really don’t think David would go for it.”
Amber scooted toward her, but she didn’t touch her. “Have you asked him?”
“I don’t have to ask him to know that he doesn’t want to have anything to do with you.”
Amber didn’t flinch. She only shook her head. “He doesn’t know me.”
Reese had to admire Amber’s self-confidence. She said gently, “I don’t think he wants to know you.”
Amber sighed. “We don’t have to be
Reese gave Amber a challenging look. “If I love him, and I know that he doesn’t want this, I won’t ask him.”
Amber raised an eyebrow. “If I love you, I won’t stop trying.”
Reese flushed. “Are we going to do this all night?”
Amber cocked her head. “We could.”
Reese moved to the edge of the bunk. “No. I’m sorry. This isn’t going to work.”
Amber reached out and touched Reese’s arm. Reese looked back at her. “Reese,” Amber said. She was all longing, warm and waiting for her right there. Reese couldn’t hide her feelings either, and she no longer felt the need to. Amber knew. Amber had always known.
So Reese said the only thing she could think of to shut this down. “My mom is in the next room.”
Amber gave a short laugh, but her fingers didn’t move. “The door locks.”
Reese shook her head, smiling involuntarily. She got off the bunk, and Amber’s hand fell away. “We can’t, okay? I can’t. I’m sorry.”
Amber stared at her, and slowly her expression turned inward. “Okay.” She climbed off the bed and stood up, moving toward the door.
Reese felt as if she had kicked a puppy. “Amber.”
Amber looked at her, but her face was closed off now, distant. The black smudge on her cheek looked like a bruise. “What?”
Reese opened one of the cabinets in the wall and pulled out a T-shirt. She went to Amber and lifted the cloth to her face to wipe away the smeared eyeliner. Amber’s eyes glistened. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” Reese said.
Amber nodded. She raised her hand to open the door, but at the last second she turned back to press a kiss to Reese’s surprised mouth. “I told you,” she whispered. “I won’t give up.” Then the door slid open and Amber left.
After midnight, Reese called Julian.
He answered on the second ring. “Hi.” He sounded wide awake. “What’s up?”
“How was your date?” She was lying in the dark in her room, the light from her phone casting a ghostly pall over her bunk.
“It was fine. I got back an hour ago. Can’t sleep so I’m working on the video footage for Bin 42.”
“What was his name again?”
“Evan.” He filled her in on their date. They had gone to see
“Did you kiss him?” she asked.
“No. He was cute, but he seemed a little too self-absorbed. He kept talking about how he’s going to shoot his own independent film this winter, but honestly, I was bored.”
“I thought you liked the moody artistic type.”
“I thought I did too. Maybe I was corrupted by hanging out with the soccer team last week. They do have really good abs.”
She laughed. “True.”
“Hey, what’s up with you? Why are you calling me so late?”
“What’s that thing where you’re in a relationship with more than one person at a time?”
“Polyamory?” He sounded confused.
“Yeah. Amber thinks we should—we should do that. Me and her and David.”
“Are you serious?”
She told him what had happened, brushing over the more intimate details. “I told her I can’t. And even if I could, David won’t.”
“Have you asked him?”
“No! He wouldn’t do it, anyway. He hates Amber, and he doesn’t like me enough to try to get over that.”
“That doesn’t make any sense. If he hates Amber, doesn’t that mean he’s really into you?”
She blew out her breath. “I told him I was in love with him, and he said ‘I know.’ ”
Julian broke into laughter. “He Han Solo’d you.”
“He what?”
“He Han Solo’d you. You know, in
She clutched the phone tighter. “I don’t remember that.”
“Good thing you have me as your friend, then.” She heard the smile in his voice. “Come on, it’s kind of funny, isn’t it?”
“I think your definition of ‘funny’ is different than mine,” she said sarcastically.
“It doesn’t mean he doesn’t like you. It just means he wasn’t ready to say it.”
“Yeah, well, it doesn’t matter anymore. He broke up with me, and I told Amber I couldn’t be with her, so we’re all on our own now. Nobody has to say anything to anybody anymore.” She sounded bitter.
“I do know one person who’s poly,” Julian offered.
“I’m not poly.”
“I know, I’m just saying I know one person. He’s a friend of a friend, so I don’t know him well, but there are also a lot of gay guys who are in open relationships.”
