Definitely, Maybe in Love

…

Sounds from the street had ceased hours ago. Henry laid stomach-down on my bed with his head hanging over the edge, while I lolled comfortably on the floor. I could hear his even pattern of breathing above and thought he was asleep.

Which was why his question startled me. “What do you want out of life?” he asked.

“Pass.” I cracked one eye open to find him frowning down at me. “Topics like that are outlawed for us, remember? No more arguing.”

He bent his elbows and placed them flat on my bed, chin on top of his hands. “I’d really like to know, though. Tell me.” He chuckled and rubbed his eyes, adding, “Please?”

From his tone, I knew it wasn’t wittiness he was after, it was information. I could give him that. “Well, if you must know, I want to change the world.”

Even though it was dark, I could see he was smiling. “That’s a pretty tall order. Do you have a plan? Besides spreading the joys of sustainability, I mean.”

I couldn’t help laughing. “That’s definitely step one. And since step one could take the next twenty years, I might stick with it for a while.”

Henry laughed quietly and ran a hand over his face. “I like your answer very much,” he said, his eyes following me as I sat up. “And I use the word like because I can’t think of another verb to do the sentiment justice.”

I smiled in the dark, amused at how I’d grown so used to his verbal formality.

“I’m all for you changing the world,” he added.

I couldn’t help feeling a little glow, and was grateful for the dimness of the room in case I was blushing. “Speaking of change, it’s getting late.” I handed him his crumpled scarf that I’d been using as a pillow. “Or early, I mean.” I flexed my bare feet out in front of me. “We’re both leaving in, like, two hours.”

“Right,” Henry said, running his index finger and thumb over his eyelids. “I guess I should go now.” I didn’t think he’d actually been asleep, but he did seem distracted again, like there was something he wanted to say but hadn’t. He’d behaved the same way when he’d climbed through my window six hours ago.

He slid off the bed and onto the floor beside me. After a yawn and stretch, he bent forward, leaning across my legs. I wasn’t sure what he was doing, until I realized he was reaching for his shoes.

His left shoulder pressed against my right. Even in the half-dark, the definition in his reaching arm caught my attention. Tight tendons stood out on the inside of his elbow and forearm as ropes of muscles flexed and contracted every time he moved. His T-shirt stretched against the hard ball of his bicep. I didn’t see Henry in short sleeves often due to chilly Bay Area weather. I was enjoying the view.

He grabbed his shoes and straightened, his shoulder still touching mine. I bent my knees and scooted a few inches back, giving us both a little space. Henry eyed me as I moved away.

“Before I leave,” he said, fumbling with the laces on one shoe, “I’d like to tell you something—two things, actually, if you don’t mind.”

His voice sounded thick, hesitant, and his cadence was more formal than usual. I excused this, blaming it on how we’d just stayed up all night even after a week’s worth of stressful finals.

When he lifted his brown eyes to me, there was a softness in them that I recognized. The next thing I knew, it was like we were back in his hallway, legs entangled on the floor, Henry’s hand on my arm. But this time, my music was playing in the background, we were on a sheepskin rug, totally alone, no roommates to disturb us, no Lilah to interrupt.

“What,” I whispered, “do you want to tell me?”

I thought I knew. I hoped I knew. I was petrified that I knew.

Henry scooted forward, and I automatically leaned in to meet him. Part of my brain thought it was strange how I wasn’t trying to stop, while another part was relieved beyond belief.

He blinked his long lashes and pulled back an inch. “What was that?” he whispered.

“What was what?”

Henry’s eyes flashed to the window, both of us hearing the same rustling from the other side. “Wait,” he cautioned as I rose to investigate. I felt him hold the back of my shirt for just a second, maybe cautioning me, but I didn’t heed the warning.

The first thing I noticed was that I’d forgotten to haul in the ladder after Henry had been working on it earlier tonight. I hadn’t locked the window on the inside, either. I stood before the glass and peered outside. It was pitch black at almost five in the morning, no hint of sunrise. Only my reflection showed as I slid open the glass and leaned over the ledge.

A wet pair of lips crashed against mine.

I gasped and hit the back of my head on the frame, staggering away from the window.

“How’s the sexiest girl on campus?” Alex was halfway through the window before I could do anything.

“Stop,” I hissed. “What are you doing here?”

“On my way back to the Frat house. Saw your shades open.” Effortlessly, in swung his legs, followed by his lanky body. “Thought I’d drop on in, ya know? Like old times.” Grinning ear to ear, he bowed, his long arms going to my waist. I could smell a fraternity party on his breath and clothes.

“Alex, don’t,” I growled, pushing my elbows against his chest. I had not forgotten who was behind me, witnessing from a front row seat. Freeing myself as much as I could, I turned around, hoping, actually, for a little help.

But Henry just stood there, his jacket draped over one shoulder, staring at me.

In his altered state, it took Alex a few seconds longer to notice Henry. When he did, he chortled softly and swayed back on his heels. “On your way out, Knightly?” he slurred, his voice a mixture of laughter, smugness, and nerve as he threw one arm around me. “I’ll take it from here. Buh-bye.”

A muscle jerked in Henry’s jaw, but he was no longer looking at me. “Leave,” he said. His voice sounded threatening, and the look in his eyes was more than hostile.

But Alex didn’t move. He was actually…smiling.

Henry’s eyes shifted to mine. “Tell him to leave your house and never come back.”

“Why?” I couldn’t help asking, a little alarmed by his sudden aggression. I mean, I knew they had a history, bad blood and all that. And Alex waltzing through my window was certainly unwanted and a little creepy, but that was my problem, not his.

Henry didn’t answer me for a moment; maybe attempting to control his anger. “Spring,” he finally said, echoes of his stern, lecturing voice that drove me insane, “tell him to go. You do not want to be alone with him.”

I was about to ask him why again, but the fury on his face made me stop. When he released a sharp exhale and glared at Alex, I knew my words weren’t needed. So I stood still, not knowing what to expect. A fight? Would some punches be thrown? Maybe I’d hear some impressive swearing out of Henry.

But without a word, he turned and was gone out the door. Temporarily paralyzed, I could only stare after him, expecting him to reappear, hoping he would reappear. But then I heard the front door slam and my stomach hit the floor.

“Good riddance, douchebag.”

“Hey,” I growled, swinging around, torn between running after Henry and dealing with Alex. When Alex grinned, folded his arms, and leaned against my desk, the priority was clear.

“How dare you just show up here?”

“Come on, Spring,” he slurred.

“No, listen to me. This is totally inappropriate. He’s right, you need to leave.”

Alex snorted. “Why?”

I was too exhausted to get into anything heavy with him and too bewildered by Henry’s behavior. He said I shouldn’t be alone with Alex, and yet hadn’t he just taken off and left us alone? I would think about that later. Right now, I needed this presumptuous frat boy out of my bedroom.

“Alex, you’re drunk. Go home and sleep it off.” I just wanted him gone, the smell of him, the sight of him… all of him, just gone. I was almost willing to drive him back to the frat house myself, but after a moment, he shrugged and began crawling out the window.