“Ha ha ha.”
I spun around at the laughter. The two men were nudging each other and nodding toward me. “Daft hen thinks anyone would believe we couldn’t subdue her,” Irv said.
“That’s a good one, that is,” Frankie told me. “You may be daft, but you’ve a wicked sense of humor.”
“Look,” I said, my hands on my hips, my sword still clutched firmly. “I’ve just about had it with you guys. I’m not leaving Anwyn, all right? So you can just buzz off before I lose my temper.”
“And what’ll you do then?” Irv asked, giving me an indulgent smile that just made me irritable. Dammit, it was like they didn’t take me seriously as a threat to their well-being.
“You don’t want to know. Now bugger off.”
“Gwen!” both mothers said in unison. “Language, dear,” Mom finished.
“I can’t believe you kiss your mother with that sort of a mouth, I really can’t,” Frankie said with unbearable self-righteousness.
“It’s the modern generation,” Irv agreed. “They have no sense of what’s right and what’s not right.”
“Are you totally unaware of the irony of that statement?” I asked. “You are hit men!”
“So?”
I let it go. I just didn’t have the energy to point out the obvious.
“Know what I think?” Frankie asked Irv.
“She’s going to run off again?”
“I’m not going to run away.” My voice was sharp with irritation, but I felt it was justified. “You, however, are leaving. Ethan, you’re the head honcho around here—tell these guys to leave.”
“I cannot believe someone had the nerve to give my book only three stars! The last volume was all about how I dealt with having a famous mother. It was filled with celebrity insider information! Three stars? It’s ten stars’ worth of a book at least. Twenty stars. Three is just utterly ridiculous.” He looked up. “Who is this Mr. Amazon? I wish to have a word with him about the people who leave stars on his Web site.”
“You really do live in your own little world, don’t you?” I couldn’t help but ask. “Does nothing register with you?”
“Not really,” he said, leaning back in his chair. “I’m not really cut out for all of this, you see. Oh, there was a time when I fought every battle and bested every foe, but really, what’s there to look forward to once you’ve conquered all there is to conquer? That’s when I decided to begin writing my autobiography. In seventeen volumes. Who are you?”
I was about to tell him—again—who I was when I realized he was looking at Irv and Frankie.
“They’re hit men.” Surely even Ethan wouldn’t be uncaring if murderers were wandering around his camp.
“Enforcers,” Irv corrected me.
“I’m sure that someone as erudite and learned as you must see that having such uncouth mortals around your camp is not going to reflect well on you.” I pursed my lips and looked thoughtful, figuring that Ethan might be swayed by commercial concerns. “After all, people might get the wrong idea about books written by the sort of man who has hired thugs hanging around him. I certainly wouldn’t want to buy the book of such a man, no matter how interesting the material was.”
“Hmm.” Ethan appeared to be considering the idea.
“We have no quarrel with you, mate,” Irv told him and pointed to me. “It’s this one who we was told to bring back. And now here she is waving that sword in our faces and telling everyone that we killed a bunch of giddy guards when we didn’t. Trying to black our good name, she is.”
“I’m sure that was just a misunderstanding,” Mom Two said, indignation rife in her voice. “Gwen would never cast an aspersion upon someone unless she felt it was just.”
“That’s as may be.” Irv smiled at me. I was momentarily disconcerted by the sudden gesture. And that was my undoing, because while I was trying to figure out what he had to smile about, Frankie moved as fast as a snake, grabbing Mom Two in a hold that had her yelping.
“You bastard!” I started toward him with my sword held high, but stopped at the sight of metal glinting in Frankie’s hand.
“Alice!” Mom shrieked and would have lunged at Frankie if I hadn’t held her back.
“Let me handle this, Mom.” I took a deep breath. “Mom Two, are you all right?”
“Yes,” she said, her dark eyes filled with fear. I hated Frankie at that moment, hated that he could make someone as happy and loving as my mother fearful of being harmed.
“Let her go, Frankie,” someone said in a low, ugly voice that was filled with so much menace it made me shiver. I was momentarily startled to realize it came out of my mouth.
“Boss said we was to come back with you, or your head. This isn’t you, but maybe he won’t mind so much when we tell him that the head we have belonged to your mum.”
“Gwenny.” My mother plucked at my sleeve, her anguish as palpable as Mom Two’s fear. I stood on the balls of my feet, my gaze locked on Frankie’s knife, trying to think of how best to disarm the situation. If I rushed him, he’d likely sink his knife into her neck, and although she wouldn’t keel over from a wound like mortals would, she could be killed.
“This appears to be a tricky situation,” Ethan commented, and rising, he strode over to where Frankie held Mom Two. “You there, whatever your name is, release my witch. Holly has much work for her to do and would be most unhappy if you were to disarrange those plans.”
“This has nothing to do with you, mate,” Irv said, moving over to stand next to Frankie. “I’d advise you to stay out of it and let us handle it.”
“Ethan,” I said, gently pushing my mother behind me, all the while never taking my eyes off that knife. “I bet Diego would like to come out to play.”
“I doubt that. He’s testy today.”
“Ethan.” The word was ground through my teeth in an attempt to get him to understand what I was suggesting. “Let Diego out.”
“Look here, you,” Irv said, pointing at me. He and Frankie were close enough that if Ethan unleashed his alien hand, it might be enough of a distraction that I could rescue Mom Two. “I don’t know who this Diego bloke is when he’s at home, but he isn’t going to help you any. Frankie’s going to lose his patience in a minute if you don’t agree to come with us.”
“Very well, but if he misbehaves, I’m holding you responsible.” Ethan unbuckled the strap holding his arm to his belly, sliding the leather slinglike structure off. Immediately his hand reached out and grabbed my left breast.
I stared down at it in mingled horror and surprise. His fingers flexed.
“I told you he was testy today. Diego! Release that woman’s nipple. It isn’t yours to fondle.”
Frankie and Irv snickered.
“This isn’t quite what I had in mind,” I snapped, shoving the hand away. It reached back as if it was going to cop another grope, but I shifted, pointing the tip of the sword at it. The fingers twitched and slunk back to Ethan.
“If playtime’s over, we’ll be getting along now,” Irv said.
Ethan frowned at him. “I do not wish for you to kill my witch. You, woman, do something to stop them.”
“I’m trying,” I snapped, waving my sword in the air. “But thus far I haven’t had a lot of luck, and Diego was a huge letdown.”
“You’re an alchemist. Do something.”
“Like what?” I gave him an incredulous look. “Transmute them to death? That would take centuries, not that I can do it to begin with.”
“Time’s up,” Frankie said, clearly having reached the end of his patience. I didn’t blame him. I wanted to slap Ethan for being such an idiot.
“Either you come with us now, or we’ll be taking the head of your mum here back to our boss.” Irv stepped forward with a nasty smile.
“How about you two return to your boss and tell him to mind his own damned business.”
We all turned to look at the source of the voice, a surge of joy filling me as Gregory entered the tent. He
