Cipher

any of those guys did boxing.”

“I’d like you to tell that to my mother,” Ashlyn said. “I’m curious to see where she ranks laughing on the workout scale.”

It was the perfect transition for Summer to say what she needed to say. “So, I know things with your mom are kind of tense sometimes—”

“Kind of. Phft. Talk about understatement.”

“Okay, really tense. But you’ve got to tell her how you feel. Tell her that her comments hurt you. Have a real conversation with her.”

“Not this again,” Ashlyn groaned. “Why are you always trying to talk to me about my mother?”

Things were flowing so easily now. “Because I know what it’s like to not have one. Do you know how many times I wish I could get one last day to spend with my mom? She always told me how much she loved me, but I didn’t say it enough to her. In fact, sometimes I thought it was exhausting how much she said it to me.”

Besides Troy, Summer hadn’t told anyone how her mom had died—the guilt and sorrow of even thinking about it was always too much. She blinked at the tears forming, fighting to keep her composure. “Ash, my mom walked into a convenience store, and some guy decided to rob it while she was inside. You know how much he got away with? A little over six-hundred dollars. That’s how much my mom’s life was worth to him. He shot her and another lady, then turned the gun on the cashier.”

Ashlyn reached out and squeezed Summer’s hand. “Did they catch the guy?”

“Finally. And as I sat through his trial, all I could think about was how he took my mom away from me. I just wanted one more day.” More tears welled up in her eyes. “But it would never be enough. I could keep asking for one more day for the rest of my life.” She lifted her gaze to Ashlyn’s. “Instead, we have to make the here and now count.”

Summer sniffed, a fabulous side effect of the tears. She moved into Ashlyn’s bathroom and grabbed a tissue. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to get so emotional on you.”

“It’s okay.”

“I’m going to go get a glass of water.” Summer walked across the room to Ashlyn’s bedroom door.

“I can get it,” Ashlyn said.

“I’ll be right back.” Summer walked down the hall and into the kitchen. She opened the cupboard and grabbed a glass.

Pamela walked in as Summer was filling it with water. “What’s wrong?” she asked, sounding genuinely concerned.

“I was talking to Ashlyn about my mom. She was shot during a convenience store robbery.”

Pamela’s eyes got big. “I…I didn’t know. I’m so sorry.”

“Sometimes I miss her so much that it seems like the sadness will crush me. The one thing that gets me through is remembering all the times my mom told me how much she loved me. I know you hate how I keep telling you to talk to Ashlyn, but this is why I feel so strongly about it. You never know when you won’t get another chance. Please, tell your daughter how much you love her.”

Afraid adding any more would only detract from what she’d already said, Summer headed back toward Ashlyn’s room. If that doesn’t work, I just don’t know what will.

###

“I better go home, but thanks for the awesome day.” Summer took a deep breath. After her breakdown, she’d recovered, and she and Ashlyn had gone back to laughing and talking. She couldn’t leave without driving the point home, though. “So, you’re going to talk to your mom, right?”

“I’ll make you a deal,” Ashlyn crossed her arms and locked eyes with Summer. “I’ll talk to my mother if you talk to Troy. And not just talk. You have to tell him how you feel about him.”

Summer shook her head. “I can’t do that. It’d be so uncomfortable.”

“You think it’s going to be easy for me to talk to my mom?”

She’s got me there. “Fine. We’ve got a deal. You first, though.”

“Fine.”

Thinking of all that had happened, of having no regrets, Summer decided to take her own advice and let her friend know how much she cared about her. “You know that I…Okay, I’m just going to say it. I love you, man. Girl. You know what I mean.”

Ashlyn smiled at her. “I love you, too. Thanks for being such an awesome friend. Enough of a friend to worry about the kind of relationship my mother and I have. Even if it’s also a pain in my butt.”

Summer leaned in and gave her a quick hug. “I’ll see you at school tomorrow.”

“Count on it,” Ashlyn said.

As Summer drove away from Ashlyn’s, she mumbled the first prayer she’d offered since Mom died. “Please, please let them work it out.”

Chapter Thirty

To cut down on her confrontations with all the people who now hated and mocked her, Summer normally arrived at school last minute these days, with barely enough time to grab her books and get to class. But first thing this morning, Ashlyn had sent a text saying she wanted a few minutes to chat before school. After Summer’s mad dash to get ready, she buzzed to the school—obeying all traffic laws, of course. She pulled into the parking lot with twenty minutes to spare.

The sight of Ashlyn sitting on the hood of her car made Summer smile. Even though they’d spent most of yesterday afternoon together, she couldn’t wait to talk to her again. She got out of her car and hiked her bag up on her shoulder. “Hola, chica! What’s up?”

“I’ll tell you what’s up.” Ashlyn grinned, her whole face lighting up. “You have to talk to Troy.”

For a moment, Summer could only blink. Excitement started to take hold as what that meant sunk in. “Really?”

Ashlyn slid off the hood. “Yep. I did it. I talked to my mom yesterday after you left, and we ended up talking until midnight. I laid it all out, how much her words cut me, and instead of getting mad, she apologized. Then we started talking, like really talking, all the subjects we usually avoid. I feel like I finally understand her. And learning more about her life made me understand why she is the way she is.”

A calm, peaceful feeling washed over Summer. She’d figured out a way to help. She even noticed that Ashlyn was calling Pamela mom. Usually she spat out the word mother like it was a disease.

“I guess both of her parents died young,” Ashlyn said. “Her dad had a heart attack, and her mom was diabetic. After they died, she was determined to always live healthy, and when she had me, she wanted me to be healthy, too. When I explained that I tried, but it was harder for me, she started crying—I’ve never seen her cry before. She told me she wanted me to feel good about myself. She told me she thinks I’m beautiful, inside and out.”

Ashlyn’s voice got a little shaky, then she took a deep breath and smiled at Summer. “In fact, after school we’re going to the mall to buy some clothes that fit and flatter. No losing weight required. I tossed those stupid diet pills this morning.”

“Rock on!” Warmth spread through Summer’s chest, and she couldn’t stop smiling. This story was getting better and better by the second.

“Mom also said that lately she’s noticed how hollow and empty some of the people she works with are. She said the qualities she saw in me were much more important than weight—that’s a compliment coming from my mother. She even mentioned you, stating she could see what a good friend you were. I swear, we just talked and talked. I’ve never had more fun. And I was hanging out with my mom.”

“I’m so happy for you. I really am.”

“I don’t even know how to thank you.” Ashlyn threw her arms around Summer and pulled her into a giant hug. “I don’t even care if this starts more lesbian rumors.”

“Bring ‘em on,” Summer said as she squeezed back.