Time Wasted: I refuse to say any of our ten months together were a waste. I learned a lot about myself. I got to experience the most intense love I’d ever had up till then. I also had to get over it, which wasn’t easy. I became bitter and went through a zombie/horror film phase. My favorite part was when everyone died. If someone actually found love in the movie, I booed and threw popcorn at the screen.
Lessons Learned:
My family is really, really important to me.
I want someone with enough free time to spend some with me (a.k.a. no workaholics).
Never date someone who wants six kids.
The hardest lesson: Sometimes love’s just not enough.
…
Stephanie, Anthony, Karl, and I sat down at a table near the bar. I’d called Stephanie, desperate to get out after spending all day working, and we’d met at Shots, the place Anthony had originally meant for us to go. Saturday nights were apparently popular, because it was hard to move. When a group got up to leave, we snatched the table.
“So what happened?” Steph asked.
I knew what she was talking about, but I didn’t want to get into it. The whole point of getting out was to stop thinking about
She scooted her chair closer to mine. “You know I’m not going to leave you alone until you tell me what happened with Jake.”
I sighed, nice and dramatic so that she got how much I didn’t want to talk about it. “He kept trying to convince me that some relationships are good.”
Steph tilted her head and stared at me. “Oh, Darby. Surely there’s more than that.”
“I called him for no reason but to chat, even though he was in the middle of work. When I had a bad day, I complained about it to him. I had him go to a boring party with me. I was relying on him too much. I could just feel it starting to get messy.”
Karl leaned in, yelling over the music. “What’s going on?”
“Darby dropped a guy because he liked her and she was starting to like him back,” Steph said.
I scowled at her. “Thanks for making it sound as horrible as possible.”
“I guess I should consider myself lucky that you were appalled by me,” Karl said with a smile.
“You better watch it. Getting someone in this place to punch you might be harder than at Hot Shots, but I like a challenge.” Usually I would’ve delivered that line much better, but it came out kind of sad, thanks to the fact that his statement was a little too true. Maybe my exes had a list of what not to look for in a girlfriend with all my qualities listed.
Anthony held his hand out to Stephanie. “You want to dance?”
Stephanie glanced at me.
“I’m fine,” I said, pushing her toward her fiance. “Go dance.”
Anthony hated to dance, but Steph loved it. I knew Anthony suffered through it because of how happy it made Stephanie.
As soon as they were gone, Karl asked, “You want to talk about your relationship? I know you don’t believe in what I do, but I might just impress you with what I know.”
“I don’t need a therapist to tell me that my views on relationships are screwed up.” I glanced at him. “I hope this doesn’t come across as offensive, because I don’t mean it that way, but don’t you have a hard time convincing your clients you know what you’re talking about when you’re not married?”
Karl’s lips thinned. He took a swig of his drink. “I was married. For six years. My wife had cystic fibrosis. They wanted to do a lung transplant, but they couldn’t find a donor in time. So she passed away. A little more than two years ago.”
“That’s… I’m so sorry. I can’t believe Stephanie didn’t tell me.”
“I asked her not to. I don’t want it to be the first thing people know about me. I’d rather tell them in my own time.” He sat back. “Everyone keeps saying I should get back out there. But it’s impossible not to compare them all to Monica.”
“At least you had training on how to make those six years good.”
“You’d think. She used to get mad whenever I’d ask her counseling-type questions. I had to word them differently so she didn’t know what I was doing, and even then, she caught on pretty quick.” He stared at the table, a faraway look on his face. One corner of his mouth twisted up. “She taught me the real-world experience I needed.”
“So after going through that, don’t you hesitate to do it all again?” I asked.
Karl nodded. “Sure. It’s why I’m sitting here with you right now instead of going over to the blonde at the end of the bar and asking her out.”
Trying to be subtle, I checked out the girl he was talking about. She was pretty, dressed in clothes that were sexy but not completely revealing, and had these cute black glasses.
“You should go,” I said. “The worst she could say is no.”
Karl shot me a sidelong glance. “I’m not sure I should be taking relationship advice from someone who dumped a perfectly good guy.”
“Just because I’m a big failure at relationships doesn’t mean I’m not right about the blonde. She keeps looking back here, and she’s going to think you and I are together.” I nudged Karl with the tip of my shoe. “Go.”
He reluctantly stood up and headed over to the bar.
Another song started and Stephanie and Anthony didn’t come back. When I’d thought about getting out, sitting in a nightclub by myself wasn’t what I had in mind.
Finger over the accept button, I went back and forth on whether I should answer.
“You look sad sitting here all by yourself,” a guy said as he approached, interrupting my dilemma. He extended his hand. “Come dance with me.”
I was going to say I should save the table, but Anthony and Stephanie were making their way back.
I took his outstretched hand and let him lead me to the dance floor. It had been a while since I’d danced in a nightclub. Not much had changed: girls in Barbie-size clothes danced like they were auditioning to be America’s next top stripper; one look-at-me girl was dancing on the platform; people grinded against one another.
The guy who’d led me to the floor threw his arms around me and started swaying to the beat. Within seconds, he leaned in for a kiss.
I jerked away. “Whoa, buddy. Aren’t you supposed to buy a girl a drink first?”
“I’ve got some wine at my apartment.” He pulled me closer. “It’s only a few blocks away.”
“How nice for you.” I stepped back. “I’m all danced out.”
I huffed off the floor and went back to sit with Stephanie and Anthony.
“That was quick,” Steph said.
“Yeah. He thought I’d be interested in the fact that he has an apartment a few blocks away. I wasn’t.”
Stephanie leaned her head on Anthony’s shoulder. “I’m so glad I don’t have to deal with that anymore.” She shot a pointed look at me. “You wouldn’t have to deal with it either if you weren’t so stubborn.”
“The point was to forget about everything, not have it rubbed in my face.”
“But part of a best friend’s duty is pointing out things you might not want to hear.”
Karl sat down in the chair next to me. “How’d it go with the blonde?” I asked.
“Had a nice conversation. Got her number. So, we’ll see.”
The four of us sat there, listening to the music as the lights bounced around the room. Watching all the other people mingle wasn’t making me feel better. I’d wanted to get out so badly, but now that I was out, I kept thinking it really wasn’t all that great.
