Lucca hesitated a moment, then nodded. Soon, the ambulance began the drive back to Eternity Springs.
Rose put a blanket around her, but Hope continued to shake, her teeth chattering as she answered the physician’s questions. When she’d collected the information she required, Rose did a quick external exam and said, “We’ll give you a thorough exam when we reach the clinic, Hope, but based on where your bruising is located on your abdomen and in the absence of pain, I am confident that the accident did not hurt your baby. We’ll make sure, but I need you to try and relax, okay? I know it’s hard, and I know you’re scared. I want you to concentrate on deep breathing. You need to get that blood pressure down. Okay?”
Hope’s throat went tight and tears flooded her eyes. Rose gave her hand a comforting pat. “Relax. I will take excellent care of you and your baby. I’m a great doctor.”
Hope nodded, closed her eyes, and tried to relax. Instead, fears, doubts, and concerns came at her like bullets, tearing into her heart, ripping through her soul, messing with her mind. Echoes of her ex-husband’s accusations reverberated through her. As the ambulance began the climb up Sinner’s Prayer Pass, seeds of panic found fertile ground and began to sprout an unthinkable idea.
Lucca waited outside the examining room, angry and unhappy. The doctor wouldn’t let him in Hope’s room during the tests and examination. He wasn’t her husband. He had no right to be there. Hope, curse her, hadn’t asked Dr. Anderson to let him stay.
In fact, Hope hadn’t said anything. She hadn’t even looked him in the eyes.
She must be in shock. It was certainly understandable, and he wasn’t annoyed with her, just the situation. She was his love; this was his baby. He wanted to share his life with her, both the good times and the bad.
He needed to rethink this whole plenty-of-time business. Maybe once this crisis was behind them, he should put his effort into getting a wedding scheduled ASAP. He paced up and down the hallway in front of Hope’s room. Finally, the door opened and Dr. Anderson stepped outside. “Hope gave me permission to speak with you about her condition. She is fine,” she told him. “The baby is fine. She’s eleven weeks along. Almost through with her first trimester.”
“Oh,” he breathed, taking the news like a most welcome punch to the gut. “Oh. Good. That’s wonderful. That’s great news.” He fastened his gaze on the door. “Can I go in now?”
“Yes, but don’t stay long. She needs to rest. I’m going to keep her overnight just for observation.”
“Okay. Thanks, doctor.”
She smiled. “You’re welcome. And congratulations on the baby.”
His smile bloomed slowly and genuinely. This was a first. “Thank you. Um … Rose? No one knows. We haven’t said anything yet.”
“Doctor–patient,” she said. “I’m a vault, Lucca.”
He waited until she walked away, then he opened the door and stepped inside. Hope lay against white sheets dressed in a blue flower-print hospital gown, her head turned toward the window, where, outdoors, the sleet had turned to snow.
“Hey there,” he said, softly.
She didn’t look at him. “How is Tony?”
“Tony?”
“His knee. Is his knee okay?”
Oh. Lucca experienced a twinge of guilt. He hadn’t thought about Tony. “I don’t know. I haven’t checked to see if he’s come in. I’ve been worried about you.”
She closed her eyes. “Go see your brother. Go see your family.”
He crossed to her bed and sat on the foot of it. “I want you to be my family, Hope. I love you.”
She shook her head, slowly at first, then faster and faster and faster. “No, I can’t. I won’t.”
“Hope—”
“Stop it,” she interrupted, meeting his gaze for the first time, the look in her eyes that of a wounded warrior. “Just stop it. I can’t do this, Lucca. I can’t. But you can. You are such a good man. Such a smart man. The driving lesson … I knew what to do. I thought I knew before the lesson, but I didn’t. No telling what would have happened if I hadn’t had Johnny Tarantino’s voice murmuring in my ear. We weren’t hurt because of you, Lucca. You saved the team and me and this baby. You are a wonderful man and you will make a wonderful father.”
Okay. Why did he feel like another shoe was about to drop?
Because it was.
“I can’t do this. I can’t be responsible for destroying another child. I won’t do it. I won’t be part of this baby’s life. I know I must be for the next six months. I will care for him and for myself during the pregnancy, but once he’s born, if you want him, he is yours. I will give this baby to you.”
Lucca froze. “What? What are you talking about? Hope, don’t be ridiculous.”
She stared at him with brown eyes that reflected a timeless universe of misery. “I won’t be this baby’s mother. I won’t do that to him.”
She’d let her ex get to her. And the accident. These weren’t her true feelings. She’s overwrought. “You’re distraught. Now is not the time for this.”
“It’s the perfect time for this. I want you to leave, Lucca. Leave now and leave me alone. For your sake. You’ll be better off.”
“Dammit, Hope. I’m not going anywhere. I love you.”
She pressed the nurse’s call button, and when a woman answered, said, “I want Mr. Romano to leave my room, and he refuses to go. Will you call security, please?”
Lucca had a thousand pounds of torque in his jaw as he clenched his teeth. He knew she wasn’t thinking straight, but this had been a helluva long day for him, too. She was okay. The baby was okay. He needed a drink.
“Fine. I’m out of here. You call me in June when it’s time for me to pick up my child.”
He whirled around, charged out of her room, and marched down the hall, barreling toward the front door until he almost ran into a woman rushing in. “Lucca?” his mother said, her eyes going wide when she got a good look at his face. She clutched his arm. “What’s wrong? Tony? Is he hurt worse than they said?”
Lucca wanted to be ten years old again. He wanted to climb into her lap and let her hold him and rock him and comfort him.
The dam broke. “She’s pregnant, Mom. Hope is pregnant, and she just told me she doesn’t want anything to do with our baby. She doesn’t want me. She told me she was giving him to me and then walking away. We don’t even know if it’s a boy. She’s not even that far along and she’s making all these decisions. I know she has issues because of the kidnapping, but damn. I love her. Why doesn’t she want us? Why doesn’t she love us?”
Maggie Romano gazed up at her son, her expression filled with compassion and concern. “Oh, Lucca. I’m sure Hope doesn’t mean it. Her emotions must be a jumble right now.”
He didn’t want to hear his mother make excuses for the woman who had just plunged a knife into his heart. Suddenly, he was angry, as angry as he’d been in a very long time. She didn’t want him. She didn’t want to fight for him. For them. She was letting her past rule her present and her future, and he was tired of coming in second to the lost memories of a life she once had. “You know what? It’s okay. I’m done. I have my own demons to battle. If she doesn’t want help, doesn’t want me, well, fine. I’ll be okay without her. The baby and I will be just fine.”
“Now, Lucca, don’t—”
“No, Mom. It’s okay. I’m through fighting this fight. Maybe she’s right. Maybe she doesn’t have what it takes to be a mother.”
“Don’t you dare say that to her,” Maggie said, her tone and expression fierce. “That’s just being stupid.”
“No, I was stupid to believe that she’d believe in me. In us. Her ex said she was damaged goods. Hell, maybe he was right.”
“Lucca!” Maggie gasped. “You do not mean that and you know it. I will not have you talk like that about the mother of my first grandchild. So stop it. Do you hear me? Stop it right now!”
Lucca was too angry to think. He waved a hand, dismissing her reprimand. He didn’t really think Hope was damaged. She was everything he could ever want. She just didn’t want him.
“Don’t you dare dismiss me!”
