off the first thing that comes to his mind. “Maybe both,” he says finally. “She’s sort of critical.”
“But Soup’s so nice.”
He shrugs. “It always happens to the nice guys.”
“Does it?”
“You’ve never made some poor guy’s life hell?”
“I don’t know. I don’t think so.”
“I find that hard to believe.”
I’d be insulted if he weren’t grinning ever so slightly. It’s distracting. “Soup is so chill, though.”
“Yeah, but he’s sloppy and kind of loud and smokes weed from time to time.”
“Still. The thought of a guy like him being henpecked for a lifetime is depressing. Maybe she’s just pregnant-mean,” I suggest. “My aunt Shayna was psycho when she was pregnant but totally sane before and after.”
“No,” he says. “Vicky was born crazy. Pregnancy has only enhanced it.”
“Ouch. You’re not a fan, I take it.”
“I’m allowed to say that about my own sister.”
“
Reed shrugged. “I thought you knew.”
“What next—is Flora your mother or something?”
“Ha. That woman grabs my butt at least once a day. Definitely not my mom.”
I smile. “Yeah, that would be weirder than it already is.”
He narrows his eyes, and I feel him staring through all my layers. “That’s the first time you’ve smiled today.”
And like that, the distraction is over. I remember. Mo is leaving me. “I’m just tired,” I say.
Reed doesn’t look away, so I don’t either. He noticed I wasn’t smiling. I wonder if he’s sensed how close to the edge I am, if he’s seen that this entire shift has been a string of microdistractions, every customer and conversation good for just a few seconds of relief. If he’s really been watching he has to think I’m crazy, because I’ve remembered at least a dozen times and felt the panic exploding inside of me all over again.
He’s looking at me now. From this close I can see his Adam’s apple and the stubble on his jawline. His eyes too.
“Actually, it’s this thing with a friend,” I hear myself say.
Apparently his eyes are making me stupid. Reed isn’t my boyfriend, and if I cry on his shoulder right now, he never will be.
“You want to talk about it?” he asks, looking vaguely nervous.
“No, I’m good.”
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but you don’t seem good.”
“What do I seem?”
His pause is uncomfortably long again. I push away from the counter, ready to go find some menial task to do, but then he says, “I don’t know. Scared.”
I squint. He’s hard to read, not like Mo whose emotions float around him like fumes. “My best friend’s moving,” I say.
“Oh. I’m sorry.”
“His dad lost his job, and now they have to go back to Jordan.”
“Back to Jordan?”
“Yeah. He’s from there.”
Reed nods and holds my gaze, so I keep talking.
“He moved here when he was ten. It’s weird. He’s so American that I forget he used to be something else, or that he still is something else, I guess. I don’t know. Technically he’s not American at all, which is the problem. Sorry, I’m not making a lot of sense.”
Reed folds his arms, and I have to notice how solid they are, muscle and power and confidence crossed over his chest. “No, I got it. This guy’s your boyfriend?”
“No. He’s . . .” I swallow. I gave up on trying to define whatever Mo and I are ages ago, but now that he’s leaving, I’ve got this desperate need for someone to understand why it’s so terrible. Mo’s more than just some boyfriend. “It’s hard to explain. He’s my best friend. And he’s not my boyfriend, but . . .” I stop myself before I say
“I got it.”
He doesn’t get it. I’m an idiot. Nobody gets it. “My parents, friends, boyfriends I’ve had—they all think we’ve got some secret thing going on.”
“Are they right?”
“No. But . . .” After the last week of dying for Reed to just look me in the eye, I’m suddenly wishing his gaze wasn’t so intense. The brown is warmer today, the amber flecks brighter. Like sparks. “Mo helped me get through a hard time. He’s like my brother. My really sarcastic, pissed-off brother.”
Reed says nothing, but his eyes become so suddenly sympathetic I have to look away. Sympathy might kill me today.
“So why is Vicky inviting me to her baby shower when we’ve never even met?” I ask.
“She’s not. I am. Apparently you aren’t supposed to throw a baby shower for yourself, so Vicky put me in charge of the party.”
Not what I was expecting. I frown at the yellow envelope still in my hand, then tap the ducky sticker. “Nice touch.”
“Vicky took me off invitation duty when I suggested doing it by email, but the rest of the party is my baby.”
“Yeah? What’re you planning?”
“She nixed the keg and the strippers, so I don’t know. Maybe we’ll have a bonfire and torch some furniture.”
I give an uneasy laugh. I don’t know him well enough to really tell, but he doesn’t sound like he’s kidding. Mo’s sarcasm is louder than a foghorn. This is dangerously dry.
“Annie, I’m joking.”
“I knew that.”
He raises an eyebrow.
“Okay, so I didn’t,” I admit. “You’re hard to read.”
“Not once you get to know me. And it was worth it for the look on your face.”
“I don’t think there was a look on my face,” I say.
“There’s always a look on your face.”
I’m not sure what this means. I want to think about the possibilities for a while, but he doesn’t stop to let me.
“We’ll barbecue in my grandmother’s backyard and probably play something civilized like croquet or horseshoes. Acceptable?”
“Perfectly.” I place the invitation on the lip of the counter so it hangs between us. “When is it?”
“Sunday night. Soup wants everyone from work to be able to come.”
“This Sunday?”
He nods.
“I’m supposed to go into Louisville with my dad,” I say. “I don’t know when we’ll be getting back.”
The back door squeals behind me, and eau de nicotine-and-hairspray fills the room. Reed takes a tiny step away from me.
“Damn rain,” Flora mutters as she walks by. She doesn’t look at me, which means she’s still thinking about Lena. I want to tell her she needs to smoke something stronger than a Marlboro Light for that, but the door chime sounds and a group of drenched kids rush in, giggling and dripping all over the place.
Flora takes the first order, and Reed begins to move away when something comes over me. Desperation. I don’t want him to walk away yet. Without thinking, I reach out and place my hand on his forearm. It’s warm and smooth. The muscle beneath my fingers tenses. What am I doing? It was supposed to be a friendly gesture, but
