Her eyes widened in horror. “I won’t be here, Robert. I’m leaving by the end of the week.”
He shook his head. “No, you’re staying until we know for sure.” He gestured back to the desk. “And we most certainly will not be doing this again.” It sounded like the last part pained him, but she had to agree that it was probably for the best.
Elizabeth placed her hands firmly on her hips. “No, I am leaving. If something happens because of this, I will write you,” she said, realizing that it was the cowardly way to handle this and that was fine with her. She’d rather not be there to see the horror in his eyes when he learned that he was trapped with her for life.
“No. You’re staying,” he said firmly. He didn’t trust her to contact him for some reason that he couldn't quite put his finger on. Also, he wasn’t ready for her to leave, not yet.
She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply before continuing. “Robert, I am going. I have been waiting for weeks to go and I refuse to put this off any longer.”
“You’ll stay,” he ordered. “Besides, it doesn’t seem as though your father is going to allow you to leave anytime soon. Seems he has plans for you,” he snapped, anger once again rising at the thought of her marrying James.
“You don’t have the right to tell me what to do!”
He took a menacing step towards her. “You will
“I’m leaving!” she yelled.
“The hell you are! You will stay until we get this whole mess settled. Once that is done, you can stay the hell away from my family!” He took another step until they were mere inches apart. She pressed her hands flat against his chest and shoved him, but he didn’t budge.
“I will go near whomever I wish and it is none of your concern who I marry. If I chose to marry James, that will be none of your business either!” She had absolutely no plans on marrying James, but that seemed the best thing to throw in his face at the moment.
He glared down at her. Perhaps she’d gone too far because at the moment she was pretty sure that he was seeing red.
“You will
She cut him off with a hard slap across his face. The sound seemed intense in the otherwise quiet library. This time when she shoved him back he moved.
“I hate you!” she ground out between clenched teeth as she wiped frantically at the tears streaming down her cheeks. She shoved her hand in her pocket and pulled out his knife. She threw it out the open window before he could take it from her. “Stay away from me or so help me God, I will make you pay,” she choked out before she ran from the room.
She pressed a hand to her stomach, pleading with it to calm down long enough for her to reach her room as she ran upstairs, ignoring the servants’ curious glances as she past them. No sooner was she in her room than she lost the battle with her stomach. She raced across the room, past Jane, who was hanging a dress, and grabbed the chamber pot. She lost the contents of her stomach once again, not able to stop herself and knowing as she did it that the servant in her room might very well seal her fate.
Chapter 19
Robert picked up the ledgers off the floor and tossed them onto the desk. He shoved his hands through his hair, wishing that he was punching someone, anyone.
He couldn’t stand this. The one woman in the world that he shouldn’t want was the one woman he was discovering that he couldn’t live without. She was becoming an obsession for him and he was powerless to do anything about it.
Even a half hour later he was having a difficult time believing that a part of him had hoped that she was going to tell him that she was carrying his child. When he’d discovered that she wasn’t pregnant, he felt like part of him died over a child that had never been.
For the past eight years he’d lived his life according to a plan, and so far everything was going smoothly. This time was meant for him to build up his estate and investments so that he could do what he loved for the rest of his life. He should be relieved that she wasn’t interfering with his plans instead of standing here fuming.
What he needed was to take a mistress. He needed someone that wouldn’t interfere with his life and was there when he needed relief. That’s what he wanted, someone that wouldn’t make him lose his control. Hell, he didn’t care if she was pretty as long as she had a warm body and knew her place. He would talk to his brother later to see who was available.
He ignored the sudden clenching of his stomach at the thought of being with another woman. This was how it was. Men of his station kept lovers and mistresses. Even his father kept mistresses and he cared about his wife. Every man he knew did this. It was time he did as well.
With that settled, he sat back down at the desk, hating himself because he knew that he could never do it. What was wrong with him? There was really no need to wonder why he couldn’t go through with it. It only made his anguish worse.
A light scratch at the door tore him from his inner turmoil. “Enter,” he snapped.
Marie, his mother’s maid, stepped inside and immediately closed the door behind her. She walked into the room, fidgeting with her fingers and looking around nervously.
“What is it?” he forced himself to ask politely. Scaring this woman off would not be smart. His mother kept this woman around for her ability to gather gossip. She was the best. There wasn't anything she couldn’t find out, which was why Robert had been paying her a hefty sum for the past month to come straight to him with everything concerning Elizabeth.
For the past month he’d learned about all the men Elizabeth met with and what she did when she left the house. He also learned one rather interesting piece of information; Elizabeth had been dismissing her maid in the mornings for the past two weeks. At first he thought she knew that he was in bed with her and was trying to protect her reputation, but she never gave any indication until this morning that she was aware of his nightly visits. It still puzzled him.
“Sir, I have something that I thought you may find interesting,” she said with another nervous look at the door and then one at the open window. “If you wouldn’t mind, sir, it might be best to close that window.”
He closed the window, forcing himself to remain patient. She was nervous and he didn’t want to frighten her off. He gestured to the chair in front of the desk, but she remained standing.
“What is it, Marie?” he asked.
She licked her lips nervously. “Remember you said if I brought you something really important, you would give me an extra shilling,” she reminded him, smart.
“Yes, is this something worth an extra shilling?” His voice was cool and calm.
“Oh, I believe it is, sir.” Again, she shot another look back at the door.
He sighed inwardly as he pulled the coin out of his pocket and handed it to her, hoping it would move this along. She took it and smiled briefly before putting it away.
“Well?” he asked, feeling his patience once again leaving him.
She cleared her throat delicately, clearly preparing for the moment. He cocked an eyebrow, silently telling her that this drama was unnecessary. Smart girl picked up on it.
“Lady Elizabeth has been sleeping in later than normal,” she announced with flourish.
That was what he paid a shilling for? “That is the important news you wished to tell me? Clearly you and I are of a different opinion on importance, my dear.”
She shook her head. “That is why she dismissed Jane in the morning.”
He glared at her. She licked her lips nervously before continuing. “She also no longer drinks her tea in the morning. Actually, she places it untouched outside her door, except for this morning.” His scowl
