“Please, I don’t want to wait anymore.”
He leaned back and positioned himself at my entrance. The hand holding mine gripped tighter and his eyes locked on mine as he slowly pushed inside of me. A breathy moan left me and he groaned as I stretched around him. Kash didn’t move for a few moments as we just felt each other. And with that lazy smile I loved, he pulled almost completely out and pushed back in harder. His name left my mouth and I brought his body down toward mine to capture his lips. Our joined hands were now pinned to the bed, his long fingers still entwined with mine and now clutching the comforter in them as well as we moved together. His other hand was in my hair, and his elbow was pressing into the mattress to keep his weight off me and give him the leverage he needed to move completely, but slowly, inside me.
My body was on fire for him, the heat in my belly growing rapidly. Our breaths were labored and our kisses were changing from slow and passionate to rough and needy. I urged him to move faster as I felt the familiar tightening low in my stomach and cried out when he leaned away and slammed into me. The heat in his eyes held me captive, and I’d never felt as beautiful or wanted as I did right now, in this moment with him. The hand that had been in my hair moved down my body, and the second his fingers rolled around my sensitive bud, my body shattered around him and I roughly whispered his name as I lost myself to him. He worked me through my orgasm, and when my body felt limp and sated, he curled back over me and placed his head in the crook of my neck. With a few more thrusts, his entire body tensed before shuddering, and he bit down on my collarbone as he groaned out his release.
His body was gently shaking when he pushed himself up, and I wrapped my arms around his broad back, bringing him closer to me. His arms gave out and I welcomed his weight for the moment before he rolled us onto our sides. Placing a soft kiss where he’d bitten down, he looked up at me and claimed my mouth next. We lay there holding each other for a few moments; the only sound was our heavy breathing as we stared into each other’s eyes. A soft whimper escaped my lips when his body left mine, and he kissed me quickly on the forehead before rolling off the bed and walking into the bathroom. He smiled when he came back in and saw me under the covers.
“I love seeing you there,” Kash said roughly as he crawled in with me. He wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me close to him. “Are you okay after that?”
I snuggled in closer to his hard chest and sighed happily. “Much better than okay. I—” I broke off and kissed his warm skin.
“You what?” When I didn’t respond, he tilted my head back and searched my eyes. “What, Rach? You can tell me.”
Wishing I’d kept my mouth shut, I smiled softly and internally cringed, hoping I wouldn’t ruin this night. “I was afraid I’d end up breaking down during. I was afraid he would find a way to ruin this for me.”
“Did—”
“No!” I cut him off quickly and tightened my hold on his waist. “No, everything with you is just—it’s perfect.” I shrugged and hoped he could see the sincerity in my eyes. “It was just you; I felt safe and cherished, like I always do with you.”
He kissed me softly. “I
“It doesn’t matter. He won’t do anything at school, and you wouldn’t be able to protect me from him anyway. You can’t go to my classes with me. It just—it doesn’t matter. He won’t bother me there.”
“I wish you would tell me.”
“Why, Kash? So you can have a name? It won’t change anything.”
He opened his mouth but then shut it and breathed heavily through his nose. “Okay, I’m sorry. You’re right. I shouldn’t have asked again. I don’t want this between us right now. I just want you.”
I kissed his jaw and silently cursed myself for saying anything. Relaxing into his embrace and the pillows, I tried to go over every second that I’d just shared with Kash and attempted to push thoughts of Blake away. After a few minutes of my internal battling, Kash began humming “Fall into Me” by Brantley Gilbert and I felt my body fully relax into him. I hadn’t even realized I’d tensed up again.
His lips brushed across my cheek and he broke off humming to whisper in my ear, “Sleep, Rach. I’ll keep you safe.”
When he continued, he wasn’t humming anymore; he was whispering the words, and my heart swelled. Sleep came quickly in Kash’s arms as he softly sang to me. If I hadn’t been sure before, I was now. I wanted to spend forever with this man.
11
Rachel
WORK WAS PICKING up now that summer was coming to a close and more people were returning from their vacations. I didn’t have time to sit there just talking with Kash at the bar, but it didn’t matter. The steady flow of customers made the work hours fly by, and then it was just Kash and me when it was all over. We didn’t spend every night together, but more often than not, we both ended up in one of our beds. I preferred those nights. I’d never slept as well as I did with him, but with how raw our relationship was, it was good that we still spent some nights apart.
I grabbed for four bottles of beer and giggled against his lips when Kash leaned over the bar and pulled me in for a slow kiss. A few of the people around us hollered and a couple jokingly told us to get a room, and my face was bright red by the time we broke apart. We didn’t show affection often at work, but we had an understanding: if someone was hitting on one of us, the other made sure to let him or her know we were taken and not interested. My eyes glanced over the people sitting at the bar and spotted a few girls at the end who had witnessed the exchange and were whispering to each other. I couldn’t hide my smile and winked at Kash as I grabbed the bottles and turned to take them to the awaiting group of businessmen.
My phone vibrated in my pocket as I checked to see if they were ready to order yet, and after getting their order put in, I walked back toward the kitchen. As soon as I was around the corner, I pulled my phone out and my blood ran cold.
A whimper escaped my throat and I turned to run into the women’s restroom. I threw up bile and continued to dry-heave for a few minutes before sliding down the wall to the ground.
“Rach? Are you in here, sweetie?” Tina appeared in the stall—I hadn’t had the time to shut and lock it when I ran in there—and her hands flew up to her mouth, then shot out in front of her. “Oh no, are you okay?”
Was I okay? No. I was definitely not okay. I was the opposite of okay. I was freaking the fuck out and coming dangerously close to hyperventilating and dry-heaving again. My hands shook as I pushed a few loose strands of hair away from my face.
“Do you want me to get Kash?”
“No!” Kash would flip the second he knew who was here. My mind ran wild with different possible scenarios. Kash beating the shit out of Blake and getting fired. Kash making me quit work and hiding me in his apartment. I never wanted to see Blake again, but I knew Kash would try to protect me and would go way overboard. “No, I’m fine, Tina. I just . . . got sick for a minute. But I’m fine.”
“You sure? Do you want me to tell Rod that you need to go home?”
Yes, I wanted to go home. But if Blake was here, he could follow me. And Kash was here; he wouldn’t let anything happen to me. “No, really. I need a few minutes and I’ll be fine.”
