hard and crushed his mouth to mine. I’d kissed him before, and I hadn’t felt anything. But after this, I felt like I needed to scrub everywhere he’d touched me and brush my teeth until I no longer could taste him.
“You. Are. Mine.” With that he released his grip and my head smacked against the floor. He straightened and pulled his phone out of his pocket. In seconds the person answered the phone. “Can you please show my guest that I’m not fucking around with this?” It sounded like more of a demand than a question, and as soon as his phone was back in his pocket, he was on the ground with me, pulling me up so I was sitting in between his legs, my back against his chest. Both his legs wrapped around mine, pinning them to the ground, and he maneuvered his arms so I couldn’t move mine, all while he held the iPad up in front of us.
I wanted to squeeze my eyes shut, but I couldn’t stop looking. It was like watching a train wreck, although nothing was happening on the screen. It was still just the video feed of the Jenkinses’ house. Same as it had been for the last few minutes since he’d pulled it out. My breathing escalated as I continued to stare. Seconds felt like hours as I waited for something to happen. All of a sudden the silver Audi’s alarm started going off in the driveway and I shook my head, trying to figure out what this proved. “No!” I screamed as Candice’s dad walked outside, looking at his car, then around the street for whatever had made the alarm start. “George, no! Please go back inside. He’s your uncle, Blake!” I stared in horror as he made his way down the long walkway. Halfway to the driveway his car exploded and I screamed again, thrashing against Blake as I watched George fly backward a few feet before landing on the grass. “
“He’ll be fine, sweetheart.” Blake set down the iPad to better contain me and his lips were at my ear. “I want you to be a good girl and do exactly as I tell you. Or next time, he won’t be walking away.”
“Anything!” I promised, and craned my neck to look down at the screen to see George rolling over and getting up on his hands and knees as he looked toward the burning mass in his driveway. “Anything, I swear! Just please don’t hurt him!”
“Smart girl.”
“What do you need me to do?”
Once again his lips were on my neck before brushing against the lobe of my ear. “Be mine.”
I HAD TO take deep, calming breaths before I could even open the door of my car. It felt like there was a weight on my chest, threatening to crush down, breaking my heart even more than it already was.
I’d called Kash, asking him to meet me outside of a coffee shop. I needed to do this in public, not just because I knew Blake was watching, but because if I went back to one of our apartments, I didn’t think I’d be able to handle not being able to fall into his arms and tell him everything. I knew he would help if I told him what was going on, but I needed to keep Candice and her parents safe and alive. Just the same as I had to do for Kash.
He stood from where he’d been sitting at one of the outdoor tables and his wide smile had the weight on my chest pressing down. I couldn’t do this, I couldn’t crush him this way. Tears pricked the back of my eyes and I blinked quickly, trying to hold them off. Turning my head so I wouldn’t see his face, I saw where Blake was parked, watching. Just as he said he would.
“Hey, did you get all your classes dropped?” Kash started to pull me into his arms, but I put my hands against his chest and pushed back. “Rach, what’s wrong?”
“We, uh—we n-need to . . . we need to talk, Logan.”
His head jerked back, and while he let me push him back, he kept his hands on my upper arms. His brow wrinkled as his eyes searched my face.
“Um . . .”
“Rachel, what is going on? Talk to me. Did something happen with Candice? With Blake?”
I inhaled sharply but shook my head and tried to put more distance between us; his hands kept me where I was. “No. Nothing about them.” It had
“Why the fuck are you calling me Logan right now?”
“I’m sorry, so sorry to be doing this to you . . .” A short sob rose from my throat and I tried to hold it together as I removed my hands from his chest and grabbed my engagement ring, tugging it slowly off my finger.
Kash’s eyes went wide and his face fell. “Rachel,” he whispered, and the tears that had been threatening their release finally spilled down my cheeks at the heartbreak in that one word.
“. . . but I can’t marry you.”
“What?”
“I don’t love you, Logan.”
He took a stumbling step away from me and another sob tore through me as I held the ring up to him. “You’re—you’re lying.” His eyes turned glassy and I had to look down at my feet. “Why are you doing this?”
“Please, Logan, don’t make this harder than it has to be. Just take the ring back. I don’t want it, I don’t want you.” I cried the last words and took a step toward him, pushing the ring against his chest.
His hand came up to wrap around mine, but I dropped the ring into his palm and jerked my hand away. “Babe, you—I don’t—just yesterday you begged me to go elope! If this is because I said no, babe, we’ll do it. Whatever you want, we’ll do it. If you don’t want the wedding with your friends and Candice’s family, I’ll marry you today. But I don’t understand! We were fine when I left with Mase a couple hours ago, and now you want to call off our engagement?”
My vision started blurring and it had nothing to do with the tears that wouldn’t stop. I thought about George’s car exploding right before my eyes. I thought about Blake’s threats to kill his aunt and uncle
“Rachel!” He grabbed my hand and I whirled on him, my voice rising in my near-hysteria.
“I don’t want you, Logan! I’ve
He recoiled like I’d slapped him and dropped my hand. A single tear fell down his cheek and he shook his head slowly back and forth as he continued to retreat from me.
Everything in me screamed to run into his arms, to take back all I’d said. But I needed to keep the only family I had left safe. And though he might never understand it, I needed to keep Kash safe too. Forcing myself away, I put my head down and walked quickly to my car. As soon as I was in, the roar of his motorcycle starting up and speeding out of the parking lot had the weight finally crashing in on me and I slumped against the steering wheel as sobs overtook my body.
I was still sitting in the parking lot an hour later. My sobs had run their course, and all that was left was a steady stream of tears. I felt hollow. It didn’t matter that
My phone chimed and I frantically looked through my purse, praying it was Kash.
Dropping my phone in one of my cup holders, I slowly went through the process of putting on my seat belt, cranking the engine, and backing out of my parking space. My tears never stopped, and a few times I had trouble seeing the road, but ten minutes later I was pulling into the complex. My breath caught when I saw Kash’s motorcycle and truck there. He was home. Would he try to talk to me? Hope blossomed in my chest and I prayed that he would, that he would demand to know what had changed in me all of a sudden.
I’d barely pulled into my spot when my phone was chiming again.
