“Did they arrest you for burglary? Was that it?”
“Not exactly.”
“Then what?”
“They thought I passed a phony hundred-dollar bill.”
“Was that the super-bill they asked me to examine?”
“I guess so. It sure looked real to me. I think that’s why they let me go.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, I think it fooledthem, too. I mean, ifthey couldn’t tell it was fake, how was I supposed to know?”
“Well, you did work in a bank once.”
“Yeah, but I never saw a super-bill in my life. They told me they could’ve charged me with a class-A mis, but this was Christmas, what the hell. They let me go.”
“So as I understand this …”
“That’s right …”
“… you’re a common thief.”
“Well, I’m a burglar. That’s not so common.”
Antonia laughed. Will figured this was a good sign.
“Also, I have some plans that ain’t so common neither,” he said.
“Oh? What plans?”
“I’ll tell you later,” he said.
Antonia was thinking the plans he was talking about had to do with sex. He was referring to possibly taking her to bed later on tonight. After dinner. While the storm raged outside. Which wasn’t a bad idea at all. Except that he was a common thief. Well, a burglar.
“What makes a burglar so special?” she asked.
“Well, first of all, we’re like doctors.”
“I see. Doctors.”
“Yes. Our motto is ‘Do no harm.’ In fact, we go out of our way to keep from harming people. We see a light burning in an apartment, we think there’s somebody in there, we’ll avoid it like the plague.”
“Why is that?”
“I just told you. We don’t want some old lady screaming so we’ll have to hurt her. Do no harm. Also, the rap is bigger. If you hurt somebody while you’re inside a dwelling, or even if you’re just carrying a gun. It goes up from Burg Two to Burg One. That’s a difference of ten years, when it comes to sentencing.”
“You sound very familiar with all this,” Antonia said.
“Oh sure,” he said. “Well, I’ve been doing it for a long time now.”
She was wondering why she was still sitting here. The man had just told her he was a burglar, athief.
“I thought you said you worked in a bank,” she said.
“Long time ago,” he said. “I was just a kid when I went out on the Rim.”
“But you never saw a super-bill,” she said.
“Never.”
“I’m surprised. Plenty of them in Southeast Asia.”
“Plenty of themeverywhere, from what you said.”
“Where’d you get the one you tried to cash?”
“I stole it.”
“Why am I not surprised?” she said, and rolled her eyes.
“That’s okay. Not many people get to dine with burglars.”
“Lucky me,” she said, and rolled her eyes again.
“That might turn out to be the case,” he said.
She still thought he was talking about taking her to bed later on. Which she still thought might not be such a bad idea.
“You know that woman who got eaten by lions in Grover Park?” he said. “The zoo there? Did you see that on television?”
“No,” she said. “But I read about it in the newspaper.”
“That was who I stole the money from.”
“Oh my, you’re famous,” she said.
