The Frumious Bandersnatch

ginzo from…”

Steve!her eyes snapped, and her fingers crackled.

“Is what heis, ” Carella said. “He speaks English the way mygrand father did when he first came to this country.”

Luigi happens to speak English…

“Luigi! Couldn’t he have picked a more…”

…as well as you do. And he’s a very nice…

“…wop-sounding…”

You ought to be ashamed of your…

“…name? Luigi! JesusChrist! ”

Well, I’m not going to shout over you,Teddy signed, and folded her hands in her lap.

The room went still.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

You should be,Teddy signed.It’s going to be a lovely wedding.

“I’m sure it will be,” he said. “I’m sorry.”

But he was sure it would not be. Because the issue here wasn’t that his mother was about to marry a man from Italy, a realItalian, mind you, not somebody who was born here and who called himself Italian for God knew what obscure reasons, but someone actuallyfrom Italy, this was not the issue. The issue was that his mother was getting married atall. And so soon after his father was murdered. Before the funeral meats were cold, so to speak.

Which was theother thing that rankled about this double wedding impending in June, next month, right around the corner, for which he had been unanimously declared father of the bride when he didn’t even choose to be either brother or son of the bride,brides, damn it! Of all the men in this vast city, of all the available bachelors pounding on her door and sniffing at her heels, why had his sister chosen the man who’d prosecuted the case of thePeople v.Cole, and lost that case, allowed his father’s murderer to walk free until another day? Why this particular man? Was there something fucking Electral about this? Something Carella was missing?

The telephone rang.

He looked up at the grandfather clock.

It was nine-thirty.

He went into the hall to answer it.

“Hello?” he said.

“Detective Carella, please.”

“Speaking.”

“This is Special Agent Stanley Endicott,” the voice on the other end said. “Is this Carella?”

“Yes, it is.”

“I’m not waking you, am I?”

“No, I’m awake.”

“I’m in command of the Joint Task Force here at Federal Square,” Endicott said. “We’ve been assigned the Valparaiso kidnapping, and I understand you were the officer who caught the initial complaint, is that correct?”

“Well, the Harbor Patrol was actually the first to respond,” Carella said, and wondered why whenever the FBI appeared on the scene he automatically started covering his ass.

“But you conducted the initial investigation, isn’t that correct?”

“Yes, it is,” Carella said.

“Aboard theRiver Princess, is the information I have here.”

“Yes.”

“And you’ve been working the case since, more or less.”

Carella liked to think the old Eight-Seven had been giving it their all, but he said nothing.

“Have you come up with anything so far?” Endicott asked.

“We’ve been tracking a trio the Harbor Patrol stopped on the river, shortly before the kidnapping. We’ve got a name for the guy who rented a boat that may have been used, but that’s all we’ve got. There’s nothing on him in the computer, local, state, or federal. We’re thinking he used a phony credit card.”

“What was the name?”

“Andy Hardy,” Carella said.

“Oh really?” Endicott said, and chuckled.

“We also have an eye witness to the boat coming back in before midnight last night…well, he didn’t actuallysee the boat, but he gave us a good description of the three people who might’ve been on the boat…”

“Might’vebeen,” Endicott said.

“We’re fairly certain they’re the ones who brought the boat in. A man and two women. They drove off in a black Ford Explorer…”

“Fairlycertain,” Endicott said.

Carella was silent for a moment.

Then he said, “Do you want this or don’t you?”

“I’m all ears,” Endicott said.

“So cut the editorials, okay? We’ve been busting our asses on this ever since we caught it.”

“I’m sure you have.”

“Look, call my lieutenant, okay? He’s got all our reports, he’ll give you everything you…”

“I’d rather hear it from you.”

“The Explorer was reported stolen at eight-thirty this morning. We checked with the owner, last time she saw the car was six last night, when she moved it per parking regulations. The boat the three hired—which may or maynot have been the one used on the gig, before you repeat it back to me—was dusted by Mobile Crime top to bottom. It was wiped clean as a whistle. Also, we’ve set up a Tap and Tapeplus a Trap and Trace in Barney Loomis’ office. We expect…”

“So he told us.”

“We expect the perps to call with a ransom demand sometime tomorrow. The office was closed today, and they have no way of knowing his home number. Plus, the girl’s parents are divorced and living, one in Mexico, the other in Europe someplace. So Loomis is the one the perps’ll most likely contact.”

“So he told us,” Endicott said again.

“That’s what we’ve done so far, and that’s what we’ve got.”

“Which is essentially nothing,” Endicott said.

“Well, as I mentioned earlier,” Carella said, “maybe you ought to talk to my lieutenant. He can give you any further…”

“No, no, you’ve done splendidly,” Endicott said. “Not your fault these guys are smart. How about the crime scene itself? Has the lab come back to you with anything yet?”

“They said I’d have their report by six tonight. I waited in the office till seven.”

“Think it might be there now?”

“Possibly. I can call the squadroom…”

“If it’s there, maybe you can bring it along with the rest of the stuff.”

“What stuff do you mean, Agent Endicott?”

“It’sSpecial Agent Endicott, by the way, but you can call me Stan. What do people call you, Detective? Stephen? Steve? It says here Stephen Louis Car…”

“Steve. People call me Steve.”

“Steve, I’d like to go over whatever evidence you gathered at the scene…”

“There wasn’t much.”

“Whatever there was. It’d be in your DD report, wouldn’t it?”