By the time the lights came on in the theater, I was sweating and breathing hard, my hands clammy. When I released Riley’s shirt, there were wet spots from my anxious fists palming him.
“Maybe this wasn’t the best choice,” he conceded, rubbing my arms. “I stand corrected.”
“You think?” I said, actually shivering from fear.
“You really are afraid. I thought you were exaggerating.”
“I don’t exaggerate,” I said with great dignity.
He snorted. “It’s the sledding all over again. I didn’t know you were really such a chickenshit. I thought you were making it up.”
Oh, yes, the sledding. I didn’t think it was that weird to be twenty years old and afraid of flying down a hill on a piece of cracked plastic, but he had seemed to think I was just stalling to be annoying. So Riley had pushed me, and I had almost fainted from lack of oxygen, a scream frozen in my lungs. “Well, from now on, you should believe me.”
As we stood up and left the theater, I added, “And I’m not a chickenshit. There are just certain things I’m afraid of, high speeds and demonic possession being two of them. You have to be afraid of something too, everyone is.”
“Nope.”
“Whatever.” I rolled my eyes for emphasis. “You’re not afraid of heights or small spaces or spiders?”
“No.”
“Flying?”
“I’ve never been on a plane, so I’m not one hundred percent sure, but most likely no.”
“Death?”
“Not particularly. I’m too busy trying to live.”
“You’re unnatural,” I declared. “Everyone is afraid of something.”
Riley held the door open for me as we stepped out into the heat and sunshine. “You know the one thing I’m afraid of.”
I glanced back at him, and I knew what it was—losing Easton. “That’s not going to happen,” I told him firmly. “The house looks great and Easton is happy. He feels safe with you, and he’ll tell the social worker that.”
Riley nodded. “And demons aren’t going to possess you, Jess. I don’t believe in guarantees, but in this case I’m willing to guarantee it.”
“I’m willing to guarantee that you’re going to hang those blinds when we get back to the house.”
He made a face. “What are you majoring in? Management? Because you’re really good at telling me what to do, while you watch me and point.”
“Ha ha.” I hesitated to tell him my major, because it sounded so stupid to me. Like a waste of a giant pile of money. For more than a year, I hadn’t even told Kylie and Rory that I was doubling with Religious Studies. They had just thought I was a design student until Rory started to get suspicious as to why I was taking so many theology classes and I had confessed the truth.
I wasn’t even sure what I wanted to do post-college exactly, and that felt like such a failure. It made me feel guilty, too, that other people didn’t have the luxury of going through the motions of a degree. They had to pay bills and survive and here I was, getting a degree to placate Daddy.
The freedom I was working so hard to ensure wasn’t really all that freeing if I was going through the motions with my classes, and aimless otherwise. I was halfway done with college and knew less about my future than I had when I’d graduated high school. Scary shit.
Fortunately, Riley was not the kind of guy who wanted me to cough up all my personal details or my feelings. Probably because he didn’t want to do that in return.
There was a safety in spending time with him, laughing and eye-rolling and teasing, with occasional moments of serious conversation. But there was no prying, no judgment.
He hung the blind. Maybe because he knew that it would look a lot better than the sheet that was currently tacked to the wall. Or maybe he just wanted to get me to shut up. Either way, in ten minutes, he had the brackets mounted to the wall and the blind clicked in place.
I clapped. “It looks awesome in here.” I had thrown away the pillows on the couch when he wasn’t looking and had replaced them with two red pillows we had scored at the dollar store for five bucks a piece. Mostly my goal there was again to cut down on the lingering smoke smell.
“I have to admit, it does look a lot better. You are a genius, my friend.” But he swatted my hand when I tried to open the window. “Down, girl.”
“Argh! Your logic makes no sense! It’s boiling in here!”
“You’re cute when you’re annoyed,” he told me, and kissed the tip of my nose.
Damn him. I forgot about the window. “Kiss me,” I ordered.
“There we go with the bossy thing again.” But he obeyed, taking me into his arms and kissing me thoroughly.
Everything inside me melted, and I rubbed my breasts against his chest as his breathing grew slower, louder, our mouths colliding with a hot intensity, his fingers gripping my hair on the back of my head. I went for his zipper.
Riley stopped me. “Uh-uh. We’re just kissing. No skipping steps.”
What steps was I missing? Kissing led to naked, which led to sex. I wasn’t sure what else there was supposed to be, but I didn’t want to get into a breakdown on sexual dynamics and dating again. Those conversations were boring and annoying. So I just moved my hands to the small of his back and bit his bottom lip to show him what I thought of that.
“Ow.”
“Be quiet,” I said in response to his clearly fake complaining. “It wasn’t that hard.”
“You know, there is something else I’m afraid of,” he said, his brown eyes crinkling in amusement.
“What?”
“You.”
That earned him a smack on his chest.
He laughed, and that was the end of our romantic kiss. He pulled away and dug his phone out of his pocket. “I’m starving. I’m going to order Chinese food. What do you want?”
A magic pill that would allow me to eat as much food as he did. Jesus. “Steamed vegetables.”
“Gross.”
“Like your face.”
He laughed. “Touche, pussycat.”
Hell, if this was dating, I could do this, no problem. It wasn’t that much different than how we had been two days ago. I felt a little more relaxed about the weightiness of the word “relationship.” Obviously it meant different things depending on the people involved, and Riley and I were not moony-eyed, let’s carve each other’s names with knives on our forearms kind of people. Nor did we need to be constantly petting and grooming each other like Tyler and Rory, or using smoochie-woochie, fakie-wakie words like Kylie and Nathan.
We were awesome, as Riley had stated, and we ate Chinese food (well, he ate Chinese food, and I nibbled on broccoli) and played video games and made out, his Szechuan breath killing my desire to stick both my hands in the food containers and shovel scoops into my mouth.
Riley kissed me old school, his hands staying outside of clothes, on my waist. I have to admit, it was making me crazy, but in a good way. He was stirring my arousal, making it simmer low, and I knew if he kept this up, I would be boiling. I tried to arch my breasts as an enticement but he ignored me.
Then he smiled at me. “I need to go to bed. I have to get up at six tomorrow to be on site by seven.”
I blinked. “Are you serious? It’s only ten.” I knew that because I had been clock watching earlier for our war of the windows. I had just opened the living room one a half hour before.
“I know. But I want to get home early tomorrow and do something with the boys when they get back. Jayden loves the zoo, and I hate the zoo, so I need a good night’s sleep to have the patience for that. All that walking and animal shit and Jayden pointing out their balls in a voice that is way too loud for public.”
Nice. “That sounds fun. Sort of. I can’t say I’m that interested in giraffe testicles myself.” I realized I didn’t know what my role in any of this was. “I should probably pack up my stuff tonight. I’ll see if Robin can drive me to
