room just in case. She didn’t want to get it with the candlestick in the conservatory by Bob Mackie Cher.
“Aren’t you even going to check the other rooms?” she whispered.
BENNY AND CHER
LIZETTE severely resented the fact that men claimed women were complicated. They were the ones who changed their minds with no warning or logic and who seemed terrified of just speaking the truth.
Five minutes earlier Johnny had been slowly and skillfully kissing her, and sounding very sincere in saying that he liked her, and wanted her to stay with him for a few days. She had been flattered and intrigued by the idea of spending time with him, and so she’d said yes. Then his mood had immediately changed, and he had just about dragged her out of the apartment, insisting they get the cuffs cut off, with an urgency previously unseen. She had actually thought he’d been somewhat enjoying their enforced togetherness. But not so now.
He was bouncing on the balls of his feet, and had practically begged to stop for a drink without any warning whatsoever. How could he go from purring contentment to skittish without any apparent trigger? It was a mystery to her, and she instantly lost a bit of the contented mood that she had been feeling. Was that what he had done? Changed his mind? Regretted his suggestion for her to stay with him?
Had he just been hoping for oral sex after all?
Now she wanted a drink as well. Bastard. She had never felt particularly concerned about her attractiveness or her lovemaking skills, and yet for some reason Johnny made her doubt herself. Made her want to please him, including taking him into her mouth. The very idea made her blush, as she had been so trained to think of it as crass, but she had thought he would like it. She had trusted him with the truth, but now she was feeling uncertain. Which was frustrating in the extreme, and she vowed not to let it get the best of her. She was not insecure, and she was not going to let some fickle vampire who faked his own death make her feel inadequate in any way.
She realized it was the same bar they had met in the other evening when she had been showing him the list. Funny how then she had been so sure of herself and her professionalism. Now she had just made love to him on the floor and she still wasn’t wearing underwear. But oddly, she didn’t feel particularly upset about it. Well, she wasn’t entirely comfortable not wearing panties, but that had nothing to do with Johnny. She had reconciled herself to the fact that she must have slept with him because she liked him, and that was perfectly acceptable. She was owed vacation time, so there was no reason she couldn’t resign from this case and spend a few days with Johnny.
After canceling the lingerie and vibrator orders. Speaking of which, she should do that soon. They sat down at the bar, the same bartender from the other night waving to them. Lizette ordered a glass of wine and crossed her legs while Johnny looked everywhere but at her, his fingers drumming on the ancient wooden bar.
“Is that Cher?” she asked him, eyeing a woman bent over with a pool stick. Her legs were a mile long, her skirt extremely short. Her companion was a muscular young guy wearing a very prominent cross on his chest.
“You know who Cher is?” Johnny asked her.
“Everyone knows who Cher is.” She suspected every woman secretly wished that when she turned sixty she would magically morph into Cher. That wasn’t Lizette’s desire, as she would never have the kind of showmanship that Cher displayed, nor did she aspire to that, but she did admire her ability to ignore everyone else’s opinions of her. “I believe that is her Bob Mackie look, given the headdress she’s wearing.”
“Sweetheart, that’s not Cher. It’s not even a woman.”
“What?” Lizette stared a little harder. “That’s a man?” It didn’t look like a man. There was no . . . hair. Well, there was plenty of hair on her/his head but not on her silky-smooth legs.
“I think he was at the wedding last night.” Johnny stood up. “Wait, is that Benny? Nigel,” he called to the bartender. “Is that Benny with Cher over there?”
“The one and only. Benny, not Cher. There is definitely more than one of her running around this town.”
Feeling like there was an inside joke she was not privy to, Lizette studied the duo at the pool table. “Who is Benny?” Lizette asked.
“He’s a stripper who works at the gay club, and he’s friends with my sister. I should say hi. Come on, I’ll introduce you.”
Suddenly aware of the fact that she was wearing Johnny’s T-shirt stapled closed and Johnny’s oversized nylon sports shorts, Lizette rose with Johnny and tossed her hair back. She really wished she hadn’t lost her Louboutins . . . she’d prefer to be wearing them if she were going to be introduced to a well-dressed transvestite. He was bound to be up on fashion and Louboutins were like style armor—no one could touch you if you were wearing them.
“Benny! What’s up, bud?” Johnny shook his right hand, the free one, with the broad-shouldered pool player. “Who’s your friend? I think I saw you at Zelda and Saxon’s wedding last night, right?”
“Totally. That wedding was full of fabulous people. I loved it, even if Zelda is a bit of a bitch.” Bob Mackie Cher stuck her/his hand out. “I’m Richard.” He grinned. “And yes, you can call me Dick. In fact, I prefer it.”
Lizette marveled that his voice was so deep, in sharp contrast to his very feminine appearance. His cheeks were as smooth as a baby’s bottom, and she wondered how much the laser hair removal had set him back.
“Who is this little precious?” he asked, smiling at her, false eyelashes fluttering, feathered headpiece bobbing slightly.
“This is Lizette, my friend in town from Paris. We got a little drunk last night and uh, found ourselves a bit tied up.” Johnny lifted their handcuffed hands.
Did he have to mention that? It was possible no one would have even noticed if he hadn’t brought it up. Now she had Dick and Benny grinning at her.
“Nice to meet you,” Dick said. “I guess the cuffs explain the interesting ensemble.” He gestured to her shirt.
“Pleasure,” she said with a nod, though she wasn’t really sure it was.
“I’m Benny.”
The other man stuck his hand out. She shook it with Johnny’s limp hand dangling below hers, because she couldn’t exactly shake with her left hand. “
“I’m straight,” he told her, which seemed a little unexpected. “I just dance at the gay strip club because the money is good.”
“That’s nice,” she told him, unsure of what a proper response was.
“If you were a gay man, he’d tell you he’s gay,” Dick said, rolling his eyes. “Benny likes to get whatever he can. Which I can’t say I have a problem with, but just so you know the score.”
“Thank you, but I am not interested either way,” Lizette said, trying to be polite. She really couldn’t imagine herself feeling amorous toward the bulky Benny, even if she hadn’t just been sexually intimate with Johnny.
“She’s with me, bonehead,” Johnny said dryly. “Can’t you see we’re handcuffed together?”
“Well, how do I know why you’re handcuffed? Maybe it was a social experiment. Maybe it’s some kind of weirdo ritual you guys do, I don’t know.” Benny waved his hands around. “Hey, is Stella still dating that bass player?”
“Yes, she is,” Johnny said. “So no go for you.”
“Damn. You know I want to bag your sister. I’m sorry, maybe that’s tacky, but it’s true. She’s like my first —”
Johnny cut him off. “Have you seen Saxon?”
Benny’s jaw shut. Dick shook his head. “No. Not since Zelda got her wig in a wad and threw us out of the reception last night.”
“What time was that?”
“Two.”
“Hmm.”
“Were we still there then?” Lizette asked Dick. “Did you notice?”
