would marry. But now that I’ve talked to my dad the one I am positive without an ounce of question I will marry someday.
By the time I finished Neil got up from the chair and walked over to the fridge and grabbed two beers. Popping the tops off he walked back over and handed me one and then sat down and took a huge gulp of his and said, “Well fuck me Jason.”
He took another gulp and said, “You’ve got a lot of groveling and apologizing to do to make it up to Ashlynn. You know that right?”
Now it was my turn to take a huge gulp of my beer. Struggling to swallow I said, “Yeah, got any advice?”
He gave a low laugh and said, “Help on fixing the mess you’re in? Fuck no! I’ve got my own problems to deal with. I don’t need to add a chick into that because well, it would be a big mistake on my end and hers.”
I just laughed and said, “Thanks for the advice Neil.”
He got up out of the chair and slapped me on the back and said, “Anytime Jas,” and began to walk back to his room to let me have some peace and quiet to try and figure out how exactly I was going to get out of this mess with Ashlynn. Right before he closed his door he said, “Good luck with that mess Jason.”
I just nodded my head and said, “Thanks. I’ll definitely need it.”
Neil was nice enough to drive me home and the whole ride was filled with complete silence, besides my sniffling. By the time he parked the car I had somehow managed to stop crying but just before I got out of the car Neil said, “I don’t know what’s going on between you and Jason but I know that from the way he looked at you that he really cares about you. I know that you just met me today but please don’t give up on him.”
I turned and gave Neil a kiss on the cheek and said, “Thanks Neil.”
He smiled and nodded his head and said, “Anytime Ashlynn. I’m here if you ever need to talk or anything.”
After nodding my head in understanding I closed the door and waved goodbye to him.
Letting myself into my apartment I was grateful that Jade wasn’t there because I just needed my alone time to think about what in the hell was the right decision to make with Jason. I decided to take a long hot bubble bath to release the tension and calm down. I brought my Kindle in there with me to relax but I couldn’t even read, that’s how bad I was hurting.
After an hour of dozing on and off in the bathtub I dried myself off with a warm towel and changed into a t- shirt and put on some panties and climbed into bed to try and at least get a good night’s sleep. I tossed and turned for what seemed like forever and then all of a sudden I heard rain pitter patter against the window and the wind blowing the trees back and forth. I loved listening to the sound of the rain, but then the thunder slowly erupted and shuddered.
Thunderstorms are actually my favorite time. I love reading a book and cuddling up by the fireplace. That was my source of peace and tranquility, but right now in this moment I feel restless. My brain is running a mile a minute because I’m questioning everything that has happened between me and Jason. He showed me a piece of him that he hasn’t told anyone else about and then he ran away. I realized that he was testing me and I failed.
I proved him right … that nobody stays.
I was so scared of getting hurt that I didn’t open my eyes and my mind … but most importantly my heart to the possibilities of feeling happy and alive.
My eyelids were starting to get heavy when there was a loud pounding coming from the door. I immediately jumped out of bed and my heart started pounding. I looked over at the clock and it read 12:30 a.m. and I wondered who it was. Before I walked out of my bedroom to the front door I bent down and pulled on some sweatpants.
Walking out into the living room I heard another at the front door and doubled in movement to get to my destination much faster. I put my hand to the lock and unlocked it. I then took a deep breath and placed my hand on the knob and turned. The door was only halfway open when I saw Jason.
He was standing there all disheveled and staring at me but looking as beautiful as ever. I took a second to drink him in.
The way the rain was covering his hair and it was getting plastered to his face. The way his eyes were bearing into mine and looking deep into my soul.. The way when Jason breathed out I could see his chest rise and fall and the warm air leave his lungs. The way he was clenching his fists together and moving his weight from one foot to the other because of nerves. The way he was sucking his lower lip into his mouth and his eyebrows were scrunching together because he was thinking excessively hard.
I thought he was going to say something but nothing left his mouth except carbon dioxide so I took a deep breath and said, “What do you want Jason?”
While dropping his head to look at the pavement he placed his hands on his hips and let out a low laugh. Seconds went by and then his eyes met mine and he cupped my face in his hands. His thumbs moved back and forth along my cheeks to soothe me and then he whispered, “It’s not what I want Ash but more like who and it’s you. Ashlynn, I want you.”
He huffed and said, “I love you.”
He then crushed his mouth to mine and I wrapped my arms around his neck. We were standing in the doorway of my apartment but Jason lifted me in his arms and walked in closing the front door behind him.
Jason set me down on the floor and we both just stared at one another. We were both breathing pretty heavily and neither of us knew what to do.
Jason started to step back from me never taking his eyes off of me but I said, “Take the jacket off Jason.”
He tilted his head but did as I said and just as he was about to set it on a nearby dining room chair I took fistfuls of his shirt in my hands and crashed my mouth to his. He wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me so my feet were dangling from the floor. I wrapped my arms around him and held on for dear life, hoping he wouldn’t push me away again and say, “I can’t.” He started to kiss my neck as he walked us back to my room and my heart was beating wildly out of its chest.
Not from nerves, but from pure excitement.
He laid me down on the bed and came on with me. The weight of his body on top of mine was comfortable. His lips on mine were everything I ever expected in a kiss … Jason’s kiss. His hands on my body left goose bumps where they previously touched and butterflies fluttering in my stomach.
Jason sucked my lower lip into his mouth and bit down a little. He trailed his hands up and down my body and then stopped at the bottom of my shirt. Moving his head back to look at me his eyebrows scrunched together. The look in his eyes was so sincere and he looked almost nervous.
He was breathing really heavily and managed to whisper, “Ash?”
I let out a breath and nodded my head. “I want you Jason. I’ve always wanted you.”
He kissed me again on the lips and then took my shirt off and gasped when he realized I wasn’t wearing a bra. His eyes got huge and he licked his lips and then looked back at me. The look in his eyes completely turned me on and before I could say anything he was sucking one of my nipples into his mouth. I gasped and before I knew it Jason was releasing my nipple and looking at me.
My mouth dropped open and before I could stop myself I said, “Why’d you stop?”
Jason leaned down and kissed me on the lips and then backed away and just started chuckling. He bit his lip and said, “I knew you would taste amazing. So sweet.”
Before I could form words his mouth was back on my nipple and he was pinching and rolling the other one with his hand. After a loud “pop” he moved to the other nipple and gave it the same affection and attention. The way he was sucking my nipples into his mouth and nibbling down I thought I was going to come just like that.
Of course I had read about that in books but I never thought it was possible until now. I started to grind the
