The Training

—ABBY—

He left for China two weeks later on a Friday night. I drove with him to the airport, wanting to be with him as long as possible. He held my hand the entire way, and the long week apart stretched endlessly before us.

“It’ll be the longest we’ve been apart since March,” he said, staring at the road as we approached the airport.

It’s only a week. It’s only a week.

I wanted to cry just thinking about it.

“I wish I could go with you,” I whispered.

He lifted my hand to his lips, brushing my skin softly. “You’re doing what’s best for you and your career. I have the utmost respect for that.”

I blinked back a tear. “I love you.”

He kissed my hand again and his lips lingered as he inhaled the smell of me. “Abby,” he whispered, his breath as gentle as a caress. “I love you.”

The night before, we’d stayed up making love into the early hours of the morning. He had been slow and reverent in his affection, taking his time and memorizing every detail of me. Even when he finally entered me, he moved unhurriedly, as if we had all the time in the world.

As the sun rose and we woke in each other’s arms, we came together again, but with a fierceness and urgency born of the knowledge we’d soon be separated for more than a week. Our hands and voices were hurried, and we pulled and pushed until at last we collapsed together, where we rested before finally forcing ourselves to leave the bed.

At the airport, I stayed with him until his pilot discreetly coughed and nodded toward his watch. Even then I stayed on airport property until the jet disappeared into the sky. Only then did I head to his car for the long, lonely ride back.

Once there, I stepped into the foyer and threw his keys on the table. I’d never stayed at Nathaniel’s house —my house, I corrected myself—alone before. I walked through rooms, checking the alarms, even though Nathaniel had done so before he left.

When I was satisfied I was safe, I made my way upstairs to our bedroom. It wasn’t until I passed the playroom that I remembered Nathaniel’s words from earlier that day.

I won’t be able to collar you this weekend, he had said at lunch. But I do have certain tasks for you.

He said he’d have envelopes waiting in the submissive bedroom. Although I want you to sleep in our bedroom, if you wish.

Yes, I knew, I did wish to sleep in our bedroom. Even though he wouldn’t be in our bed, I could sleep with his pillow, and perhaps the sheets still carried his smell.

I stopped briefly in the small bedroom. A stack of envelopes waited for me. On top was a package wrapped in brown paper and labeled with his neat script.

Friday night.

I took a peek at the envelope underneath.

Saturday, 8:30 a.m.

Since the package didn’t have a time on it, I carried it to our bedroom and placed it on the bed. I returned to it once I’d taken a long, hot shower. I’d decided to sleep in one of Nathaniel’s dress shirts, so I clambered up on the bed and tucked my legs under its hem, and then I slowly unwrapped the package.

It was a leather-bound journal.

I turned it to the first page, and my heart leapt when I found his inscription.

I know you often have difficulties expressing your feelings with spoken words. I thought, perhaps, you might feel more at ease writing them down.

I want you to use this journal as a place to write your fears, your doubts, and your heartaches, as well as your joys, your hopes, and your dreams. I’d like to see you use it as a place primarily to detail your submissive journey, though I understand there will be some crossover from our daily lives as well.

To start you off, I will give you several assignments. My only request is that you be completely honest with your writings. Nothing you put in this book will ever be held against you.

You’ve given me so much. I know you will give me this as well.

I ran a finger over the ink, somehow feeling closer to him with that simple act. I flipped through the empty pages. Christine told me she kept a journal, but I’d never gotten around to picking one up for myself.

Leave it to Nathaniel . . .

I reached for the envelope that had fallen out of the journal and lifted the flap. A single sheet of paper was inside.

We discussed earlier this week that once I returned from China, we would attend a play party together. Write down a list of your fears, and for each one suggest a way to counteract it. On another page, make a list of benefits you hope to obtain by attending.

We’ll discuss upon my return.

Was he serious? It was like an assignment a teacher would give me.

Would he grade it?

If he felt I failed, would he punish me?

I giggled at the thought, but then remembered how scared I’d been the first time he suggested the party and decided writing my fears down might be a good idea. I reached across the bed to my nightstand and dug through the drawer before finally finding a pen trapped underneath a bag of toys.

It was surprising how freely the words came once I started writing. I felt unrestrained and uninhibited. I wrote without stopping, just putting down what came to mind and filling page after page with both my fears and what I hoped to accomplish.

When finished, I looked at the clock, surprised at how quickly time had passed. The flight to Hong Kong took sixteen hours, so I didn’t expect to hear from Nathaniel anytime soon.

Yawning, I turned off the light and slipped under the covers. Apollo jumped up to rest beside me. Perhaps it was the lack of sleep the night before, but I drifted off within minutes.

Saturday, 8:30 a.m.

I turned the envelope around in my hand, anxious to see what it held. Would it be another writing assignment? I slipped my finger under the flap and opened it.

It’s 8:30 on Saturday morning and I’m still in flight. I hope you had a restful night’s sleep and that Apollo kept you company. I gave him a stern talking-to before I left.

I smiled at his words. He’d made a lot of progress in the last few months, and I loved seeing the funny, playful side of him.

I rubbed Apollo’s head and continued reading.

We’ve been in the playroom countless times in the last few months, but we haven’t come close to exploring all the different ways we can play. This morning, I want you to go into the playroom and look around. Find a toy, item, or piece of equipment we haven’t used but that you would like to experiment with next time we play. Write it down in your journal so we can discuss later.

I might decide to use it.

P.S. You have only an hour. Felicia will be by at nine thirty to take you shopping and out to lunch.

I took a quick glance at the next envelope.