Then it struck her. Caelis had heard Audrey’s questions and was mortally offended. He should have heard Shona’s answers as well then. So, why was he angry?
Was his manly pride that offended Audrey would even ask? Did he think Shona had not been strenuous enough in her denials?
Whatever his reasoning, the shape-changer would have to come to terms with the fact that both Audrey and Thomas were protective of Shona. As she was of them.
They were family, if not by birth.
Audrey looked away from Caelis and back to Shona. “I do not understand.” Again, there was no censure in her voice, just bewilderment.
Unfortunately, Shona could not help her friend comprehend something she found so difficult to understand herself. “I cannot explain it.”
Her friend probably found the truth no more palatable than Shona did.
“He hurt you grievously, left you with child.”
“He did not know.”
“How could that be?”
“It is not so difficult.”
Audrey did not look convinced. “You gave him the gift of your innocence.”
“You are so sure? Perhaps I was a strumpet, sharing my body here, there and everywhere,” Shona replied bitterly, remembering some of her mother’s more cruel words.
Audrey laughed, the sound carrying across the crisp still air above the lake. “You are no more strumpet than I.”
“
“So are you, of wrongdoing.”
“Oh no; I gave myself to him. We were not even betrothed.” Though she’d believed that was just a formality, had believed his promises of a future.
“You loved him.”
“More than I ever want to love
Audrey nodded. “My mother loved my father and it brought her nothing but pain.”
“Your father is a stupid and selfish man, entirely too vain.” Anyone who would sell his own children into indenture merely to be rid of their presence didn’t deserve the gift of fatherhood.
The man was a lesser baron, but a noble with extensive land holdings nonetheless. He’d had no need for the coin Henry had paid him for the privilege of bringing Audrey and Thomas into his household as higher-ranking servants.
Later, when laughter and splashing sounded across the lake as Caelis and Thomas played in the water with Eadan, Shona thought perhaps some men
“He has not laughed like that since well before your father passed,” Audrey remarked as she plaited Marjory’s hair.
“Eadan has always enjoyed the company of his Uncle Thomas.” Henry had been very annoyed when Shona had bestowed the honorary titles of uncle and aunt on Thomas and Audrey.
His insistence they were mere servants had only spurred Shona on to continue with the practice.
Audrey just shook her head.
“Oh, fine. You wish me to admit that Eadan is clearly in alt being with his father?”
“Refusing to admit it would not make it any less true.”
“I know.” Shona sighed as she finished tying off her own loose braid, letting it rest over her left breast.
The braid would not tame her curls completely, but helped them remain manageable. Henry had always said her hair was her glory and insisted she wore it down with only a thin gold circlet on her head.
It had been fashionable, but not practical. Not that the old man had cared if Marjory’s baby fists got tangled in the long red tresses, or flour from the kitchens inevitably ended up decorating the ends when she made bread.
He’d told her his cook could see to the needs of the keep, but the man had been a miser in areas not easily discerned by his knights or guests. He’d refused to provide enough kitchen help to feed the mouths living in his walls.
Of course Shona had stepped in to help. Particularly since her own mother had been cook until her death.
“You’ve got that look again.”
“What look is that?” Shona asked Audrey.
“Sadness.”
There was no point in denying the truth. “I was thinking of my mother.”
“She was a good woman, but not half so kind as her daughter.” It was a sweet sentiment, though not entirely true.
Before Shona’s disgrace, her mother had shown her daughter, and the others around them, a great deal of kindness.
Her husband losing his position as seneschal for the MacLeod, their move to England (a land her mother had hated) and then discovering her daughter carried a child out of wedlock had all taken a great toll on the older Scotswoman.
She said none of this to Audrey though, the topic of her life before England one Shona had always been loath to discuss. While the very reason for that habit now played in the water with their son, she found it difficult to break regardless.
The men left the water, taking Eadan behind a stand of bushes to preserve the women’s modesty as they dressed.
Her son came out of the foliage dressed in a child-size kilt of the MacLeod colors. Shona did not know where Caelis had come by the small plaid, but it gave her no joy to see her son dressed thus. In truth, the silent claim by the big warrior sent a skirl of fear shivering down her spine.
In that moment, Eadan looked wholly like Caelis’s child, with nothing to indicate an English baroness was his mother at all.
She opened her mouth to protest, but was interrupted by Marjory tugging at the skirt of Shona’s heavy green velvet gown. “Mama?”
“Yes, love?”
“I don’t want to ride a horse today.”
Audrey and Shona shared a commiserating look.
In all truth, Shona knew not what the day would hold, but at the very least she thought the generosity of the Sinclair laird might extend to another night’s lodging. “We will stay here for today.”
“Promise?” Marjory asked with such hope Shona had to hide a wince.
Her poor daughter was tired of the adventure of travel. Eadan as well, no doubt. Neither child was used to spending so many hours confined from play, much less to a saddle.
And while sleeping on the ground under the stars had been an adventure the first couple of nights, it soon grew less charming, even for the wee ones. But Shona had had no choice other than to set the grueling pace she had done.
They had needed to put as much distance as possible between themselves and any soldiers Percival might have sent after them.
“Can we live here, do you think?” Marjory asked artlessly.
“I’m sorry sweeting, but our family is on Balmoral Island.”
“You’re still set on traveling there?” Caelis asked, reproof in his tone.
“My plans are not set.” And that was all she would give the big warrior. “You are ready to return to the keep?”
Though clearly they were. Thomas was once again dressed in his English garb and Caelis had re-donned his plaid, his hair still dripping rivulets of water down his chest and back. Having done no better a job at drying, Eadan stood between the two men looking like a miniature version of the Chrechte warrior.
