As we pulled up outside of the modest brick building, I squeezed Emma’s hand, bringing it to my lips for a kiss.
“I’ll be there with you. You don’t have to worry about anything.” She nodded in understanding, and I reluctantly released her hand and got out of the car. I made my way to the passenger side and held out my hand again for her to take. I needed to have the contact with her. I needed to know that through all of this, she was not doubting us. That nagging voice in the back of my head replayed Stephen’s words, and I knew he was right about how selfish I was. But he was wrong about love. This had to be it. I planned every detail of the funeral, making sure Emma agreed with my decisions. She looked so small and frail, and I wished I could have left her at my place while I took care of everything. Death was not an emotional experience for me. People died, some peacefully and some violently. In the end, we would all die, and the world would continue to turn.
Emma was nothing like me. She would carry around the pain, the guilt. I knew she was probably blaming herself for not having had a better relationship with Judy. And although we hadn’t spoken about it, it was more than obvious Judy had not been a saint on the night she had died. Luckily, the police seemed convinced that her nudity was unrelated to her sudden demise.
“Let’s get you back home.” I pulled her body against my side as I walked her back to my car. As soon as she was safely inside, she cranked up the radio and stared out of the windshield, her expression blank.
I turned the volume down slightly as I watched her.
“Do you want to talk…about anything?”
I watched as her expression changed, but she quickly shook her head and reached for the radio to drown out her thoughts. I tried not to take it as a personal slight. It was difficult for most to come to terms with the loss of a loved one, even if that person was less than loving. It made people question their own mortality.
I sped home, just wanting to hold her in my arms again. As we pulled into the first floor of the old warehouse, she pushed open her door and took off for the stairs. I had to take the steps two at a time to catch her. She stood with her forehead against my door, eyes closed. I wrapped my arms around her tiny body and pulled her into my chest. I fumbled with my keys and unlocked the door to the apartment behind her back.
I lifted her and carried her inside, setting her gently on the couch.
“What is it?” I asked as I brushed a few wisps of hair from her face.
“I’m going to lose you, too, aren’t I?” I wasn’t sure if she meant that I would one day die or that I would leave her. The thought of ever being separated from her made me sick to my stomach.
“Never, Emma. You are my everything. I could never leave you. You would be impossible to forget. Why would you even think that?” My fingers slid into her hair, gripping the strands as I searched her eyes. She nodded, not responding to my question.
“I love you,” I whispered.
“I love you too. So much.”
“Wait here.” I placed a small kiss on her forehead and forced myself to release her. I wanted normal. I grabbed a Yahtzee box from my closet and brought it out to her. A smile flashed across her face.
“What is that?” She laughed as she cocked her head to the side.
“This, my dear, is a distraction.” I sat down in the center of the living room and motioned for her to join me. She quickly joined me, folding her legs under her body.
“Yahtzee. Really?”
“What? You were expecting Parcheesi?”
She rolled her eyes and grabbed the dice. We played for hours and forgot about all the things that haunted us. Emma put the impending funeral in the back of her mind. I focused on trying to please her without gaining something in return. Just seeing her smile made me feel better, and I didn’t know if it were truly possible to be selfless. I was still gaining something from her.
She yawned as she stretched her body out across the floor.
“Quitting already?” I asked as my eyes travelled down her body. She propped herself up on her elbows as my eyes finally found hers again.
“Thank you…for everything.”
I winked and pushed myself to my feet. Did it matter that I enjoyed making her happy? I was still doing something for her, and wasn’t that what love was about? I held out my hand to her, and she slipped her slender fingers into my palm. I pulled her to her feet, and her body slid against mine.
“One more day to go.” I kissed her on the top of her head. As long as Emma was in my arms, I knew there was hope for me yet.
I knew the last thing I should’ve been doing was thinking of fucking her, but I couldn’t help myself.
“That was the best wakeup call I have ever received.”
“It’s not over yet.” I took a nipple between my teeth, gently, before rolling my tongue over its peak. I dipped my hand lower, sliding a finger inside her wet entrance.
“Aah…” she moaned as I began to fuck her slowly with my hand and kissed her breasts. She looped her arms around my neck, and I grabbed her wrist with my free hand and kissed it before forcing it against the pillow above her head. I put my lips against the shell of her ear, loving how she struggled against me.
“I like it when you fight.”
She lifted her hips to push my finger deeper inside of her as she moaned. I slid another finger inside of her pussy as I rubbed my palm hard against her clit. She pushed her free hand against my chest, and I slammed my body down on hers, unable to contain my grin.
“Bad girl.” My mouth claimed hers, hard and full of wanting. I pulled her lower lip between my teeth, struggling not to bite down so she wouldn’t cry out. She continued to buck against me, begging to find her release. I withdrew from her and grabbed her free hand, securing it above her head with the other.
“I want to hear you beg for it.”
Her mouth clamped shut as she struggled not to give the control over to me. I already had it, and it was between her thighs, throbbing against her entrance. I knew she wanted me just as badly as I wanted her. I pushed against her and she moaned loudly, her lips parted.
“Do you want me?” I asked as I slipped my free hand between us and over her folds.
“Yes.” She lifted her head from the pillow to kiss me, but I pulled back out of reach.
“Tell me you want me.” I kept my mouth out of reach as I tightened my grip on her wrists under my hand.
“I want you, William.”
I thrust into her hard. She cried out in pleasure and pain. I covered her mouth with mine, swallowing her pleas as I fucked her. My fingers squeezed her delicate wrists as I neared my release. Her hips rocked back against mine, meeting my thrusts with equal passion. I broke away from her perfect fucking lips to stare down at her flushed face.
“Tell me you belong to me.” I needed to hear it, to feel it as she came around my cock.
“I’m yours, William.” I slammed inside of her as every muscle in my body tightened, and I filled her with my come. Her walls constricted around my dick, milking every last drop from me as she let go and tumbled over the edge of ecstasy with me.
I collapsed on top of her, struggling to right my breathing as I focused on the steady thumping of her heart
