Sigrid ran out of the bedroom, into the bathroom, and locked herself in. Bathed her face in cold water and tried to take control of all the frantic thoughts bombarding her brain.
Stared, first at her own face in the mirror, and then at all the familiar, trivial items beside the washbasin and on all the shelves: all the tubes and jars and tablets of soap and scissors and toothbrushes and packets of plasters — all the things that were the most mundane features of her mundane life, but which now suddenly seemed alien and tainted with threatening and horrible overtones that she couldn’t grasp. I’m going mad, she thought. I’m going out of my mind in this damned bathroom at this very damned moment. . There are only seconds to go.
She dried her face with a hand towel and opened the door.
‘The viaduct, a quarter of an hour from now — is that right?’
He didn’t answer. Not a sound, neither from him nor Mikaela. Nothing but silence from the bedroom. She fished out a jumper and a pair of jeans. Her blue deck shoes. She was dressed and ready to go within half a minute.
Goodbye.
She thought that, but didn’t say it
‘Wait.’
She didn’t wait. She opened the outside door and went out. Closed it behind her and hurried out into the street. The night air was cool and pleasant.
She could breathe.
When he left Mikaela he wasn’t sure if she was asleep. But she was in her cot with her dummy in her mouth, breathing audibly and regularly, as usual. All being well she would be okay for an hour or so on her own.
He closed the outside door as quietly as he could. Thought about taking his bike, but decided not to. He wouldn’t be first there in any case.
It would take eight to ten minutes to walk up to the viaduct, and perhaps he needed to make the most of those minutes. Did he even want to get there first? Didn’t he need these minutes in order to work out some kind of decision? To make up his mind what he was going to do?
Or was everything already cut and dried?
Wasn’t everything decided as soon as he’d overstepped the mark, a month ago? Decided irrevocably? Six weeks ago, to be precise. Hadn’t everything since then been no more than a slowly ticking time bomb?
Had he ever expected anything else? That he would get away with it? That he wouldn’t have to pay for such a catastrophe?
He registered that he was almost running along the dimly lit Sammersgraacht. No sign of another soul, not even a cat.
He turned off right along Dorffsalle, and continued along Gimsweg and Hagenstraat. Past the school.
The school? he thought. Would he ever. .?
He didn’t follow that thought through. Passed by the north-west corner of the playing fields and increased his speed further. Only a couple of hundred metres left.
What’s going to happen now? he thought. What will happen when I get up there?
He suddenly stopped dead. As if the thought had only just struck him.
Why don’t I go home and look after my daughter instead? he asked himself. Why not?
He hesitated for five seconds. Then made up his mind.
24
Interrogation of Ludwig Georg Heller, 2.8.1983.
Interrogator: Chief Inspector Vrommel, Chief of Police.
Also present: Inspector Walevski.
Location: Lejnice police station.
Interrogation transcript: Inspector Walevski.
Vrommel: Your name and address, please.
Heller: Ludwig Heller. Walders steeg 4.
V Here in Lejnice?
H Yes.
V What is your relationship with Arnold Maager?
H We are colleagues. And good friends.
V How long have you known him?
H Since we were sixteen years old. We were at school together.
V Have you been in close communication ever since then?
H No. We studied at different universities, and lived in different places. But we resumed our friendship when we ended up as teachers in the same school. About three years ago.
V Would you claim to know Maager well?
H Yes, I think one could say that.
V Think?
H I know him well.
V His wife as well?
H No. We have only met once or twice.
V Once or twice?
H Three times, I think. We acknowledge each other if we meet in town.
V Do you have a family?
H Not yet. I have a girlfriend.
V I see. You know what has happened, I take it?
H Yes.
V You know that Maager had a relationship with a schoolgirl, and that the girl is dead?
H Winnie Maas, yes.
V Did you teach her as well?
H Yes.
V In what subjects?
H Maths and physics.
V What marks did you give her?
H Marks? I don’t see what relevance that has.
V You don’t? Please answer my question even so.
H I gave her a six in physics and a four in maths.
V Not especially high marks, then.
H No. I still don’t see the relevance.
V Was she pretty?
H I beg your pardon?
V I asked you if Winnie Maas was pretty.
H That’s not something I have an opinion about.
V Did Arnold Maager think Winnie Maas was pretty?
H /No answer/
V I suggest you make an effort to answer that question. In all probability you’ll be asked it again during the trial, so you might as well get used to it.
H I don’t know if Maager thought that Winnie Maas was pretty.
V But you know that he had an affair with her?
H I’d hardly call it an affair.
V You wouldn’t? What would you call it, then?
