“Anyone know if he had the vaccination?” I ask the assembled group.
The only responses are shrugs and a shaking of heads. Looking around at their faces, I see the implication has already set in for most.
“Okay, we leave them both here. We can’t risk getting blood on us or anyone else,” I continue noticing the others have already dropped the second body and are backing away from it.
Everyone begins checking themselves over for any contamination. I hear the sighs of relief from each one as they find themselves clean.
I feel the adrenaline winding down leaving the past few moments inside the store feeling like a surreal event. Standing here in the breeze with the sun continuing its climb into the clear, blue sky only adds to that feeling. The seemingly normalness of the day, well, if anything can completely seem normal anymore, creates a gulf between the now and the intense firefight only moments ago. The firefight, such as I have never seen before in its intensity and ferocity, seemed to last an eternity but the passage of time out here was only a few moments. The two bodies on the ground are the only physical reminders of what occurred and a message that our tactics will have to change. Our advantage of fire power is only as good as our tactics. We certainly cannot afford to be in a battle of attrition or we are just not going to be around for that much longer. I sense the others around are also coming down to a feeling of normalcy, the events still clear, but being put away in the back of their minds.
“Okay, let’s get these supplies loaded and head back,” I say clearing my thoughts and returning to the present.
“Are you doing okay?” I ask Robert as I stand next to him gathering water bottles and see a tremor run through his hands.
“Yeah,” he replies.
“You did a good job in there,” I say.
“I was scared shitless,” he says in response.
“Yeah, well, we all were kiddo. But you didn’t let it affect you and stood in there.”
“But you and the others didn’t seem like it,” he says looking up from his gathering.
“I was fucking terrified,” I say. “As I am quite sure the others were. But you stayed in there when most anyone else would’ve run. And I have to tell you that was one of the most intense firefights I have ever seen.”
“But you and everyone seemed so calm. You were giving orders and coordinating like you were organizing a dinner party or something.”
“Did you notice that your fear was more intense before anything happened and that once it started, you stopped feeling that way and just reacted?”
“Well, yeah, to an extent I guess.”
“That’s normal and something you’ll kind of get used to. That transition from feeling anxious to reacting happens more quickly each time. Did you notice that everything seemed to slow down?” I ask.
“Yeah, I did notice that. There were times when everything seemed like it was happening in slow motion,” Robert answers.
“That’s something to use when it happens but be aware it is happening. Everything around you is still operating in real time. Thoughts and reactions come through with lightning speed and that’s an advantage you have to use with a sense of calm. You can think and react faster so use that to your advantage. But be aware that the reaction of things around you will seem slow. For instance, you move the throttle up. It will actually move up quickly because of your action, however, other indications outside of that won’t make it seem to you that it is. For example, the gauge you are staring will appear to move slowly and maybe give you the feeling that your action was not effective. The outside things reacting to your action will not appear to register immediately or react. You have to be aware of this and allow for it. Does that make any sense?” I ask.
“Yeah, it does,” he replies.
My memory tracks back to a time when temporal distortion, the slowing of time in an extreme situation, killed a good friend of mine. He was doing a touch and go in a T-38 with a student who was on his first flight. My friend let the student try to land — the T-38 is one tricky aircraft to land. It has short wings built for speed and the second highest landing airspeed of any aircraft in the world. At any rate, he let the student go too far and did not take corrective action until too late. The aircraft hit the runway hard and bounced high back into the air. My friend attempted save the situation by initiating a go around and rammed the throttles into what he thought was afterburner. The resulting bounce had angled the aircraft off to the side a little so they were not flying parallel to the runway. The wings wobbled a little — not a good sign in the T-38 — but it finally looked like he might make it.
There were two problems though. One, they were headed straight for the tall control tower that directed transient and civilian aircraft, and two, they were not in afterburner. Still, it looked like they were going to make it but the jet, in an attempt to avoid the tower, suddenly pitched up, rolled onto its back, plummeted to the ground, and slid across it in a fireball. The crash investigation revealed that the throttles were only set at about 70% power and concluded that temporal distortion was the cause. My friend was putting the throttles into afterburner but was not seeing the corresponding results on the instruments. It was thought that he did not think he was getting the afterburner to light and was cycling the throttles in an attempt to get them lit when all he was really doing was moving the throttles very rapidly back and forth. The temporal distortion made him think he was moving the throttles up smoothly but not getting the afterburner to light, when, in actuality, he was not giving the instruments time to respond. Yes, temporal distortion can be a life saver most of the time, but it can also have disastrous consequences if you are not aware it is happening.
“Anyway, you did well. Oh and thanks.”
“For what?” He asks with a hint of confusion crossing his face. The gears of his mind cycling through events trying to figure out what I am referring to.
“That night runner would’ve had me cold in the aisle if you hadn’t shot him,” I say with a small smile.
“Oh, I forgot about that,” he says with a trace of pride flashing through his eyes.
“Let’s get these loaded,” I finish our conversation with a nod.
It is a silent drive back to the airfield and ramp. Everyone is lost in their thoughts. Having been there in the post adrenaline combat moment a few times, I know that some are thinking about and reliving the events while other thoughts move towards the future and the odds of survival. Seeing Horace’s van behind us in the rear view, I know the same silence must be riding along with them, especially with the loss of two of their team. Any loss of that nature brings second guessing. I know it is affecting me and wondering two things.
“Sir,” I hear McCafferty say behind me.
I turn in my seat to see Red Team sitting on the bench seats with their weapons propped between their legs and looking from McCafferty to me.
“Yes,” I respond back.
“I know I speak for the rest of us when I say thank you for getting us out of there,” she says.
“It wasn’t me. It was our teamwork and working together that got us out of there,” I say feeling relieved, realizing that my worry about their confidence in me has been answered.
She merely nods at my response along with the rest of the team and they fold back to their private thoughts.
“We’ll debrief with everyone else after we get back and unload this stuff,” I say and turn around to stare outside at the passing buildings.
As the buildings pass by, they take on an even more foreboding aspect. I wonder how many night runners lurk behind each darkened window. In my mind, I imagine a horde of night runners hiding behind each of the windows. Watching and waiting. Ready to pounce on any intruder into their domain. Ready to take advantage of any mistake we make. It is like riding through a ghost town where tragedy overtook and the ghosts of the past
