Return

playing games here and heading for an inevitable conclusion that we are all going to vanish like the others? I look over at my kids thinking, How am I going to keep them safe in this environment? How can any one of us be safe? I have led teams into dangerous situations before, but this is different. Sure I cared about the guys I was with and didn’t want anything to happen to them. I tried to make the right decisions to give us the best chance, but, well, this is just different. I think subconsciously there was the comfort that the world would go on regardless of what happened to us. Just keep going on day by day and moment by moment. I shake my head and the overwhelming feeling vanishes as if thrown out of my head by the shake. But something else remains — determination.

Lynn, knowing me as she does, senses something going on inside me. “Is everything okay?” She asks.

“Yeah, it’s all good.”

“Uh huh,” she says in a low voice.

I know that ‘uh huh.’ It’s her ‘we’ll talk about it later’ uh huh. I feel once again how lucky I am. She has a way that keeps me grounded and real. It is this that makes me feel that things will be okay. A Led Zeppelin song starts playing in my head and the line ‘and the forest will echo with laughter’ keeps rolling through. It gives me the feeling that something else is out there, just beyond the point of vision that is observing. Not exactly helping per se, but just watching to see what will happen. Like looking through a one-way mirror. Is this a test? Is any of this real? I think and shake out of my reverie. Whew! What was that about? I must be tired but know it is also a continuation of my thoughts about quantum physics and reality.

I know I have to get some fresh air. Plus, there is, again, the distinct locker room aroma that would be nice to get out of. “Do you want to meet your team now?” Lynn asks, looking at me questioningly and draws me further out of my second day dreaming episode.

“Huh, oh yeah, please,” I answer pulling completely back into the reality of the moment. Much like being pulled quickly through a dark tunnel to where the light shines brightly.

“Henderson, Denton, Gonzalez, Rogers, McCafferty, Bartel!” She barks and starts moving away from me. Six heads turn in her direction and Lynn points to me. The four young men and two young women that were called gather their weapons and start in my direction.

With my team around me, I can’t help but notice just how young they look. Were we all that young? I think going back to the time long ago when my buddies and I were flying around the world with our hair on fire. I catch Robert’s eyes and wave him over. He starts over with Michelle in tow. Sigh. Introductions are made.

“Okay, we’ll make this quick and gather for a longer talk later. First, I want you to pair up. Find your battle buddy.” Eyes look around at each other and the two young women, McCafferty and Gonzalez, pair up first. Then Henderson and Denton followed by Rogers and Bartel.

“Now, you are not to go anywhere without each other. When I see one, I should see the other like a shadow. And I mean everywhere. I’m not saying you have to be in the same stall, but you’ll be by the door. If, for some reason, you do have to be apart, then the other will know exactly where you are and when you’ll return. Any questions?”

“No, sir!” They say in unison.

“I would have buddied up here with Robert but I see he has already found his battle buddy,” I say looking at Robert by my side and Michelle by his. He turns a deeper shade of red as the group chuckles. I’m going to like this group, I think as I look around Robert to see Michelle is the same interesting shade of red. I think it’s also nice to hear those chuckles. There’s a sense of normalcy that comes from that and shows that we haven’t loss our sense of humanity in spite of all that’s happened.

“You’ve both have inspired me,” I say looking at Robert and Michelle. “We’ll be Red Team.” This brings more chuckles and an even deeper red in the both of them. “Okay Red Team, we’re heading outside. Gonzalez and McCafferty, you two cover the rear ramp door as it opens. You others, set up a small perimeter outside once they’re open.”

“Hooah!” They say quietly but with emphasis.

“Okay, that’ll be enough of that. Roger?”

“Hooah, sir!”

“Oh dear God,” I say in a whispering sigh but loud enough to be heard and rolling my eyes. They all grin and begin moving to the back ramp door.

“Robert, stay with me a sec,” I say. Michelle backs up a step knowing I want a private word.

“Yeah, Dad.”

“I understand you’re with Michelle but don’t you do anything stupid trying to impress her. And don’t think you can handle a situation by yourself feeling you’ll be diminished in her eyes. You call out the moment something doesn’t seem right.”

“I will, Dad.”

“I’m serious Robert. I know how the young mind in love works.”

“Okay, Dad,” he responds. “Am I part of Red Team?”

“’We’ll have to see about that. I’ll have you go with from time to time but you’ll be with me when you do.”

“You know I can handle myself,” he says referring to our airsofting days. We always prowled the woods together as a team. We were very good together and he was very good at sneaking around. Better than me if truth be known. We were definitely a force to be reckoned with. In fact, there is no one I would want with me more. We could communicate and work together without the need for explanation. We would just know what each was doing. But I also know from experience that it is the reaction and simultaneous knowledge of what to do immediately that counted more than the ability to be sneaky.

“I know you can but this is different Robert. This is for real. You’ll train with us, well, and then we’ll see.” The disappointment on his face is breaking my heart. I am so torn because of the desire to protect yet he needs to learn as well. I wonder if every parent goes through this moment in one way or another. I guess so. I suddenly realize that the other soldiers are not that much older than he is. He is actually among his peers to an extent.

“Okay Robert, but you stay with me.”

“Of course, Dad,” he says with joy in his eyes. I get the feeling that he somehow thought I was disappointed in him or didn’t think he was worthy enough to be a man. “Just like old times eh?”

“Yeah, just like old times,” I say with a smile and pat him on his shoulder. We of course are referring to the invincible team we were in the world when no lives were at stake.

“Do you have a weapon for Robert?” I ask Lynn walking over to her.

“Are you sure?” She asks looking up from where she is checking on supplies with Bannerman.

“Yeah, I’m sure,” I answer.

“You’re the boss,” she says. I know those words and they indicate that she is not in agreement with my decision.

She gets up and walks over to where the spare M-16s are strapped down, picking up several magazines as well - we had raided the armory back in her camp prior to leaving loading up with weapons and ammunition. She hands them to Robert gives me one of those looks. Yeah, we’re going to have an interesting talk later.

“We’re going to open up the back and head outside. I assume the base personnel will be along shortly,” I say to Lynn.

“Okay,” she says.

That is the only answer I get from her as she kneels once more to the ground pretending to go over the inventory. I notice the distinct lack of ‘sir’ or similar from her. I know she is angry with me but I also know that it stems from worry. She is a lot like me in that respect. When she gets worried or scared, she gets angry.

“If it’s all the same with you, I would like to give the teams color codings. We’ll take Red Team.”

Lynn looks up to me over her shoulder. I look down at her with an apologetic look letting her know that I know where she is coming from. It’s one of those many looks we share. With a sigh, she stands, gives me a hug and whispers in my ear, “This isn’t a fucking game Jack!”

“I kno..” I start to say but don’t get it all out before she goes on.

“Hush! You take care of him Jack! I’m going to hold you personally responsible if anything happens to