Her irises were a striking brown and seemed to play off the color of her hair.
She knew she wasn’t bad looking. But the more the she stared, the more she hated her face. Damian didn’t like it after all.
The length of the mirror showed to the bottom of her waist. She wore a cute light pink summer dress that cut off mid-thigh. Her arms looked a bit flabby and her breasts were huge. Ever since she began puberty the monstrous things had grown to an unmanageable size.
She had just reached an F cup, and found it so frustrating to buy bras online. She grabbed a breast in each hand feeling their entire weight in her palms. She lifted them up and took a moment to stare at her stomach. It was a bit loose and could certainly use some toning, but she had never thought of herself as fat. She hated taking her clothes off, her pudgy stomach sagged and her boobs drooped a bit too low for her liking.
Then there was the slight fat rolls on her hips and thighs. She scoffed as she looked at them. She pitched at the fat, as if she could pull it from her bones. She turned around to look at her butt in the mirror.
She wasn’t unattractive, nor was she really fat. Sure, she could have used some toning here and there and tighten her muscles and cut off a bit; but nothing was really wrong with her. These thoughts began to occur to her as she continued to stare into the mirror. She knew they were true; she had nothing to feel self-conscious or loathing about.
She shook her head furiously, whipping her arms with her hair. She didn’t want to believe that. Damian didn’t believe it. He broke up with her because she was fat, and probably because she was hideous. She must have been pretty unlovable and unattractive if he felt she only deserved a text.
Her eyes began to fill with tears again, and she felt her throat drop into her stomach again. She quickly told herself she was ugly, disgusting and that she’d be better off dead.
***
The following day was even more terrible. In the morning she had picked her phone up from the floor. For a long moment she had hoped Damian’s text wasn’t there, that she had imagined it the day before. She was wrong. The cruel little sentence was still in her inbox, and she felt the rage fill her again.
Dana then decided she would rather not get up. She didn’t have work or worry about her college classes for a while, so there really was no reason for her to be up. For a moment she struggled with the idea of making herself breakfast. Looking back at the text confirmed things for her, she didn’t need or deserve to eat. It would just be better if she skipped breakfast and went back to bed.
She curled under the blankets. She took a small remote in her hands and turned on her small bedroom television. It didn’t take her long to find a bad sitcom that would distract her enough to fall back to sleep. She closed her eyes and eventually let herself fall into a restless depression filled sleep.
She woke up again in the evening. How did she manage to sleep the whole day? She wondered this for a minute, before realizing she really didn’t care. Her stomach growled from under the covers and her pajamas. It was empty, and her head began to spin with hunger. While she had decided to skip breakfast, she wasn’t sure how she managed to skip lunch too. Depriving herself of food was pretty extreme, even for an upsetting break up.
She rolled out of bed and got dressed. Jeans and a band tee-shirt would do. Her mind was focused on food, she didn’t need to look good just to go grab a bite to eat. Soon she was in her car and driving from the cheap student complex just outside of campus. Almost everyone had gone home for the summer, but she opted to stay.
It was unusual for the school to allow a student to stay on campus during breaks, but they had decided to allow her. It was so nice to stay in her own little apartment, the same one she had used every year for school, during a time when the campus was nearly deserted.
She parked at her favorite bar. It was a bit of a dive, but they had excellent food. It was pretty normal for her to come here every few days for lunch and dinner, at least when she had money from her part time job bagging groceries and checking stocks at the local grocery store.
She locked the car behind her and made her way up the dirty cement steps. She opened the front door and the bar tender, George, gave her a wave. He actually was fat, an ugly man with a heart of gold and a strange sense of humor. She waved back and tried to send him a smile, though it was difficult with how she was feeling.
She took a seat at the bar, and George grabbed a place mat and a roll of utensils wrapped in a napkin. He placed them in front of her and said cheerily, “what’ll it be tonight, Dana dear?”
She didn’t need to look at the menu. Dana had been to George’s more than enough times to know every item available.
“Do you have fried pickles today?”
George gave a laugh, “of course I do! This is a bar isn’t it?”
Dana tried to laugh with him, and when he was done she continued to give her order, “I want some of those, and a basket of fried mushrooms. I would like a Reuben and French fries, and I take a root beer, and a couple shots of vodka.”
“Right away.” George moved quickly from the bar to the small open window, passing the order along. He came back and folded his hands on the bar. He gave her a sympathetic look and said, “so what’s wrong? I’ve never known you to be a big drinker.”
He then reached under the bar and pulled out a shot glass and bottle of Absolut. He poured her the shot eyeing her as he did so. He pushed the glass in front of her and reached back under the bar for a larger cup. He stepped to the tap and filled it with root beer and sat it next to the shot. He then resumed his questioning sympathetic gaze.
“Damian and I broke up,” she said, picking up the tiny glass and throwing her head back as she drank it in one gulp. In burned her throat and the flavor reminded her of nail polish remover. She knew her guilty pleasure was poison.
“You were too good for him anyway,” George replied and reached back for the bottle of Absolut. He poured her another shot and watched as she threw it back. She then sipped at the root beer to chase the flavor. “Sorry to tell you this my dear, but he was an ass. I’m not just saying that, I never liked him but wasn’t gonna say nuthin’ to you.”
She gave a weak smile, appreciating his honesty. She then sat the shot glass in front of her so he could fill it again. After he poured another shot he went back to the kitchen window and came back with her fried pickles, and mushrooms.
“Anything I could put on the telly for ya?” he asked pointed to the beat up TV behind him sitting on a shelf on the wall.
“Just put it on, anything should be fine.”
“Alright, I’m gonna attend to this customer.” He pressed the power button on the remote in his pocket, then set it down next to her, giving a quick wink. He then walked to the other end of the bar.
Dana had been so busy eating her appetizer, she didn’t even notice the woman standing a foot away at the bar. She was petite and blond with a pointed and luscious face. Her mouth was full, and it was clear she had incredibly blue eyes. As small as she was it was obvious that she was fit, and immediately Dana stopped eating and let jealousy fill her.
“What can I get ya, ma’am?” George said when he reached her.
“Actually, I’m here to pass out flyers. I was wondering if I could leave a stack with you, and maybe set a few on the empty tables,” the girl said. Her voice was sweet and sexy. Dana hated her already.
“Sure, what ya advertising?”
“We have a gym near the university. It’s a great facility, but our numbers are a bit low during the summer with the students being gone.”
The girl handed George a flyer, and then set a stack on the bar. George took the flyer with a smile and then shook her hand. The girl then moved around the room, placing flyers on all the empty tables. She smiled at customers who reached out for one in curiosity. When her job was done she walked out, her firm ass swaying in her tight little shorts.
Dana sighed and forced back another shot. “I’ll take one,” she said holding out a hand to George.
He seemed a bit surprised, but then handed the flyer to her. He then went back to the kitchen window and
