Heart Fortune

Well, of course he’d been there for her during the hearing on her fieldwork.

She should definitely not be hurt by this.

But she was. Deeply. If he had asked her for something, that would have been the priority for her, no matter what.

And she wasn’t a priority for him.

Not enough of a priority for him, as his HeartMate, that he would instinctively think of her first, as she would him.

She was so very tired of bending to make this relationship work—without actually knowing what he thought of her.

So a lot of her hurt was because she’d not been herself, had been afraid she’d lose him. Instead it felt like even as she was growing in one direction, she was intentionally cramping herself in another, and she’d lost a part of herself for doing that.

She wept all the way back to camp and asleep.

* * *

Dammit! He’d gotten sidetracked, distracted. And Glyssa had made a point of asking him to meet her, something she didn’t often do. Guilt crept through Jace and he ran from the camp. He didn’t see her silhouetted on the hill, but jogged up it anyway. The twinmoons weren’t high in the sky but they’d definitely risen. Hell. He returned to the camp and her tent, saw her already abed, no doubt resting for their trip tomorrow.

There’d be plenty of time to make up this lapse in romance on his part when he walked with Glyssa along the shores of the Deep Blue Sea.

He slipped into bed with her and when she reached for him, loved her tenderly.

* * *

You are wrong! Lepid said.

He was sitting on her chest before she got out of bed. Jace was already gone . . . and Glyssa had decided what to do.

It was going to hurt, a lot.

And obviously Lepid had discovered her plan through their bond.

She stared into her Fam’s eyes and replied. “I am not wrong. I can’t go on loving Jace and not getting what I need.”

Lepid snorted, looked away. I don’t mean that. But I love my FamMan.

She did, too. But the man had never said anything about loving her. That was the problem. Maybe he couldn’t change or compromise. But she wouldn’t let that circle forever in her mind again, she had to confront him, and today was the day. She’d had it all planned.

You are thinking that we will return with Camellia and Laev to the Druida City! That is wrong, us going back to Druida City. We belong here.

Glyssa sat up, held Lepid as he started to tumble backward. He wasn’t a small fox anymore, and she wondered how she’d missed that, too.

“We don’t have to go . . . well, maybe for this winter, since I’m not sure how the pavilion would handle cold and I don’t think there will be any more permanent buildings. No doubt the Elecampanes will go back to their home in Verde Valley. I thought Raz mentioned a winter theater season.”

Lepid’s ears flickered. We could go see them?

“Yes, and not in a glider. Teleporting to Verde Valley from D’Licorice Residence is exhausting, but I can do it,” she admitted proudly. She was the only one of her Family who could—though they shared their Flair and energy with her so she could ’port them all.

Where is FamMan staying?

The question made her breath catch in her throat, pitched a bit of acid in her stomach. She had to harden her nerves. Wasn’t she tired of going on like this, not having his love and support? Having no words from him? Watching her step with him, not being pushy. Not being herself.

How could she live with a man and not be herself?

Was she asking him to change? She didn’t know, especially since she had changed.

Lepid nipped her. She’d been silent too long. “I don’t know where he stays during the winter.” She wouldn’t think that he’d stayed with a woman these last years. That was past and done and none of her business . . . unless he returned to the lady.

And if she broke up with him, and he did stay with a woman, that would be none of her business, either. HeartMate or no.

Misery transformed to jealousy mutated to anger. She had changed. Because of her career, yes. Because of being at camp, of course. Because of interacting with him, her lover, her HeartMate, indubitably.

Just how much had he changed? How much had he tried?

WHERE WILL FAMMAN STAY? Lepid demanded.

“Not at D’Licorice Residence. If he doesn’t stay with the Elecampanes at Verde Valley, Jace could come to Druida City. He made friends there.”

Lepid nodded. So did Zem.

Glyssa managed a chuckle with a clenched jaw. “So did Zem.”

* * *

Jace checked on his bond with Glyssa, he found her angry and very tense.

He should have apologized last night with words instead of actions.

I’d like to talk to you privately, she sent him mentally.

Uh-oh.

The camp was full of activity, everywhere. On the landing field with the visitors there and preparing the airship to take off in a while. Near the stables where Del D’Elecampane lined up the stridebeasts for the trip. At the mess tent where folk ate.

Swarming people everywhere. And he didn’t think it was wise to suggest the hill where he’d failed to meet her the night before.

What about the far side of Lugh’s Spear? That little dip in the land behind the wing?

Fine, I’m leaving now.

Jace decided it would be better if he reached there first. As far as he could recall, there were a couple of boulders they could perch on.

May as well grit his teeth and let her steam at him. Though, dammit, there’d be little time for makeup sex.

He was sitting on a flat-topped rock big enough for two when she came striding up. Neither Lepid nor Zem was around. Zem had felt the turmoil of Jace’s mind and said he wanted to stock his no-time. Lepid was with the Hawthorns for some reason that also probably involved food.

Jace’s gaze was attracted to her head and her wonderfully wild hair that she hadn’t tucked up into a tight braid or bun or coronet like she usually did, and which he disliked.

Narrowing his eyes, he saw that it was confined a little by a spell.

She stopped a meter from him, hands on hips. The tunic she wore had the square pocket sleeves, that nearly brushed the ground.

Drawing in a big breath, she just stared at him for a full minute, her eyes hurt, and that squeezed something painfully in his chest. “I’m sorry I got distracted last night, and that you’re hurt. I don’t like hurting you,” he said. “Come sit and talk.”

She hunched a shoulder. “I’ve been thinking and thinking about this. Right now you have everything your way. You get sex. You get good food. You get loving from me.”

“I give sex and . . . and loving,” he said.

She jerked a nod. “And affection. But I want more and you won’t give me that. I want a HeartMate marriage.”

He stood. “I told you, I’m not ready.”