box and took his cookie out of the oven. We’d both decided to make one big cookie rather than the four the mix could supposedly make.
He placed it next to mine and I couldn’t help bursting out laughing. His cookie looked like it had been chewed up and spit back out.
“What?” he said. “It’s not that bad.”
I kept laughing. Big, loud, bellowing, laughs.
“Go ahead. Laugh it up. It’s not about the look, it’s about the taste,” Zach said, taking the cookie off the pan.
“I’m not tasting that,” I managed to say between laughs.
“Fine, be that way. I’ll taste it, then.” He broke off a piece and placed it in his mouth. I watched as his nose scrunched and his cheeks puffed. My laughter reached a new high.
“Don’t worry, I’ll give you a pillow from the bed,” I said, holding my side.
He walked over to the bathroom garbage and spit his cookie out.
“Wait a minute,” he said. “We still haven’t tasted yours.”
“Be my guest.” I waved to the pan that held my perfectly baked cookie.
“Just because it looks good doesn’t mean it tastes good,” he said, then placed a piece of the cookie in his mouth.
I stood back, waiting for his opinion.
“How is this possible?” he asked. I raised my eyebrows in question. “You even make Easy Bake Oven cookies amazing.”
“I’m a pro, remember?”
He didn’t respond. Instead he reached across the nightstand and wiped fudgy chocolate down my nose.
“Ugh! I can’t believe . . .” I jumped up, grabbed the leftover cookie mix, and started chasing him around the room. He was quick—it was something his dad was proud of. Unfortunately, being quick hadn’t been enough for him to make the football team in high school, which is why the first time I saw him he was handing the microphone to Smith Johnson.
Zach had wanted to be a part of the team because his dad was a local legend, and I knew he’d felt he had to walk in his footsteps. After a month of being the team’s gopher, though, he’d quit and started going after his own dreams, which I think is what his dad had wanted for him all along.
It’s funny how you remember things at the most unexpected moments.
I jumped on the bed, my legs ready to propel me in either direction. Zach was across from me on the floor, his eyes searching for a way to escape.
In one quick motion, I leaped from the bed, landed right in front of him, and smeared chocolate from his forehead, down his nose to his chin.
The laughing came again, but it quickly ended when the vision of the woman at the hospital collapsing to the floor flashed through my mind.
“This isn’t right,” I said, sitting down on the bed.
“No, it’s not,” Zach said, wiping the chocolate from his nose and licking his finger.
“That’s not what I meant. We’re here laughing and joking around as if nothing is wrong. But people lost their lives today. Families lost their kids. My brother is drugged up and lucky to be alive, but here we are having a grand old time.”
Zach sat down beside me and placed his hand on my knee. “Just because their lives stopped doesn’t mean yours has to.”
“How do you always know the right thing to say?” I looked into his eyes, not afraid of the intensity anymore.
“I don’t,” he said, and I rolled my eyes.
“No, you do,” I insisted.
“I’m going to let you in on a little secret.” He slid closer to me.
“And what’s that?”
“There is no secret. I don’t know the right thing to say any more than you do. For all I know, what I’m saying is utter bullshit. But sometimes bullshit is what you need. You know? And in all honesty, I just say what I’d want to hear given the situation.”
He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and I leaned my head against him. Whether he knew it or not, he had said the right thing yet again.
I was sitting in a hotel room with the boy I used to love. The only problem was, now I remembered why I loved him.
It was the little things. Like when he sat with me for nine hours while I baked, too upset to come to terms with the fact my grandfather was dead. And when we were watching
Zach was always doing the little things. And now, with the Easy Bake Oven, it was obvious that much hadn’t changed.
People change. We had both changed. That much was true. But was it possible for two people to change, yet still be perfect for each other?
Chapter 20
Zach cleaned up our baking mess while I showered. He had even bought me a cute pajama set with pink flannel pants and a pink tank top. He got it all right. I still hadn’t even thanked him. But how was I supposed to? He went above and beyond with everything. A single word seemed pointless.
I pulled the pajama pants on and my mind drifted to that day when I woke to find Zach on the couch with Josh. It seemed like forever ago. I laughed at the thought of being mortified at my appearance. If I only knew then Zach would see me snot all over, I could have saved myself a lot of useless humiliation.
Zach was already set up on the floor when I emerged from the bathroom. Guilt poked at me like a nagging kid trying to get my attention. I ignored it. I couldn’t deny everything he had done but that didn’t mean I was going to let him in bed with me.
“Better?” he asked as I crossed the room and crawled into the bed.
“Better. You need another blanket or pillow?”
“No, I’m fine.”
“Okay, goodnight then.” I reached over and turned the light off.
“Goodnight.”
Sleep sounded good. It was exactly what I needed, but as soon as the light turned off in the room, the one in my head sparked on. A million thoughts ran in circles in my brain and no matter how many times I tossed and turned, I couldn’t turn them off.
The woman from the hospital popped back into my head, and I relived the whole heartbreaking moment over and over again. I wondered if there was something I could have done. If I should have reached out to her? Spoken to her? Hugged her? There had to have been something I could have done. Anything. I didn’t notice the tears that slipped down my cheek. And didn’t even know I was crying until I felt Zach’s weight on the bed.
“It’s going to be okay,” he said, moving closer to me.
“I know. I just can’t stop crying.” I swiped at the tears, willing them to disappear.
“Come here,” he said, holding out his arms.
I moved until my back was pressed against his bare chest. His arm wrapped around my waist and pulled me closely into him. His body was warm and his presence made me feel safe. I knew he would protect me from any nightmares.
I focused on the warmth of his skin. The feel of his hand on my stomach and the smell of his cologne. Anything to keep the visions away. To keep me safe in my own mind.
“Zach,” I said, so low I wasn’t sure if I said it aloud or in my head.
