straighter.
'Really? You want my help totally?' I smiled.
'Totally.'
'Nut. Okay. You got it.' The room began to fill with noise as it filled with kids, hungry kids. I learned a long time ago that you never keep kids away from food. The table vibrated as books and bags were tossed onto it. I looked around to see Haley’s friends starting to sit down, or head toward the lunch lines. Kelly walked up to stand next to Haley, staring at me. 'Hey, girl.' Haley put an arm around Kelly’s waist and hugged her.
I gathered my books and backpack, and began to stand. I felt a hand on my arm.
'Stay.' I looked to see Haley staring into my eyes, her arm still around Kelly. 'Please? Join us?' I looked around at the eyes that stared at me, some curious, others just plain confused as they looked from me to Haley, and back at me. I really wanted to bolt, and badly, but looking into those blue eyes, there was just no way.
'Okay.' I sat again, feeling like a microscope slide. She smiled, squeezing my wrist before letting it go. I felt like a stranger in a strange land, surrounded by natives that did not know my language, and I sure as hell did not know there’s.
I realized my lunch was in my locker, but looking around me, I had lost my appetite. Haley pulled her lunch out of her backpack, setting it all out before her on the table. A container filled with something, most likely juice, knowing her, a sandwich, the empty bag from her dried apples, and a napkin. I watched as she prepared the sandwich, squishing it a bit with her palm before she looked up, her eyes meeting mine.
'What?' she asked, bringing the sandwich half-way to her mouth.
'Nothing. I guess I was just wondering why you were abusing the sandwich before you ate it.' She shrugged.
'I don’t know.' She took a bite, smiled at me as she chewed. I tried to smile back, but I’m not sure how successful I was. My entire body was jolted as someone flopped down on the bench next to me. I turned to see narrowed green eyes staring into mine. My blood froze in my veins, and I fought the urge to growl.
'I know you,' James said, the crooked smile on his face that so many girls at Winston loved, and which I hated. 'You’re the little twat that kicked me in the nuts.' Haley coughed across from me, nearly choking on her sandwich as she looked at me. I glanced at her, then back at James Parker, the meanest asshole in the entire school. God, I had no idea he hung around with Haley.
'Yeah. What of it?' I looked him square in the eye, knowing that if it came down to it, I could squash him like the insect that he was.
'Yeah, Freshman year, you nailed me.'
'We’ve established this, James. Care to add anything else?' He sneered, looking me up and down.
'You haven’t changed at all. Don’t most girls get cuter as they get older? You’re still a scrawny little bitch like you were then.'
'Jimmy!' I could see Haley out of the corner of my eye, lunch forgotten as she stared at him.
'Go away,' he said to her, not even looking at her, his eyes still riveted on me. 'I should fuck you up for that.'
'Well, maybe you’ll learn to pick on people your own size, next time.'
'You little whore. What are you doing at my table? You don’t belong here. Why don’t you just go sit in your little dog pen where you belong.'
'Gladly, you piece of shit.' I grabbed my backpack, nearly shaking with a mixture of fear and anger, and of course, humiliation. My life wouldn’t be complete without it in my day somewhere.
'Andi, please don’t go.' I didn’t even look at Haley as I stood, slinging my pack on my back, and heading out of the cafeteria, calm and collected, just a ruse to hide the boiling blood just below the surface. I wasn’t about to give those bastards the satisfaction of seeing how much James got to me. I wanted to hit a locker so bad, my hand twitching at my side.
I heard my name being called as I made my way into the hall, but I didn’t care to stop. As soon as I’d cleared the cafeteria doors, I broke into a run, needing to get as far away as I could, my boots pounding on the tile as I went, headed toward a little nook made by a section of lockers.
I tore my backpack from my shoulders, and threw it to the ground. God, why did I have to go through this? What was so wrong with me that I was to be the butt of everyone’s jokes? Most days I could just disappear amongst my fellow students, predators like James Parker never even knowing I existed.
'Andi!' I could hear Haley’s steps as she ran down the hall. I didn’t want her to see me this way. I quickly wiped at my eyes, which had quickly become wet. I sniffled, and brought the hem of my sweatshirt up to dry my cheeks. 'There you are. God, are you okay?' My back was to her, as I wasn’t ready to face her just yet. I still needed a moment to get myself under control. So, I just nodded. She stepped up behind me, her hand reaching out to touch my shoulder. 'I’m so sorry, Andi. I had no idea he’d do something like that. My god, I’m so stunned.'
'You?' I turned around, giving her a weak smile. The look on her face just about broke my hears, like she was about to burst into tears. 'He and I have a bit of a history.'
'So I gathered. What happened?'
'First day of high school, I’m sitting in Mr. Tanner’s class, and you know how he has those desks where the chair is connected to the desk?' she nodded. 'Well, I was sitting in my seat, in the front row, minding my own business, and James comes up to me, stares at me, then gets that stupid little grin he has, and lifts the entire desk.'
'Oh, Andi.' I could hear the sadness in her voice.
'I’m at a new school, unfortunately in classes with older kids, and idiots like that who feed on the fear and humiliation of others. My feet can’t even touch the floor anymore, and the desk behind me is digging into my back, the other kids are laughing at me, so I told him to put me down. He only lifts higher, succeeding in knocking me backwards, my head pushing the other desk out of the way as I fall. The class erupts into laughter, fingers pointing at me, led by your buddy, Jimmy. So, I stand and walk up to him, and he’s a pretty big guy.' Haley smiles and nods. 'I kicked him in the nuts.'
'You really did that?' she asked.
'Hell, yeah, I did.'
'He absolutely deserved it.' Haley took me by the arm, and lead me to the lockers, and sat. I followed suit, curling myself up, knees to my chest, arms tucked into my body. I felt so vulnerable as I told her that story. 'I’m so sorry. God, I just feel like such a bitch.'
'Why? You didn’t do anything.'
'Didn’t I?' She looked at me, looking miserable. 'Andi, you’re not comfortable around my friends, understandably so with Jimmy, yet I keep trying to pull you in. You know, it’s like I’m trying to kill two birds with one stone; spend time with you and them by incorporating you into my little group. Part of me feels like I have this duty to show you that life can be fun.' She smiled at me, I smiled back.
'Believe me, I have enough fun on my own, Haley. I don’t need to spend a fun-filled lunch with James Parker for that.'
'Yeah, I guess you don’t.' She sighed, running a hand through her hair, pushing the dark strands behind an ear. 'I’m so sorry about today, Andi. It was completely unacceptable of him, and I just feel horrible to put you through that. I am really sorry.'
'It’s okay. What can you do, you know? I think we’re all created to fill certain roles, and the popular chick, I was not meant to be.'
'It shouldn’t be that way. I mean, not to sound like some poster for peace, but why can’t we all just get along?'
'Because then life would be boring.' She chuckled ruefully.
'Yeah.' With a groan, Haley stood, wiping off the butt of her jeans as she did. She looked down at me. 'Are you going to go back in there?' I shook my head.
'No. Anything I need is right here.' I patted my backpack that lay not far from me.
'Okay. Well, the bell is going to ring soon, and I need to get my stuff from the cafeteria. Can I get you anything while I’m in there? I mean, you didn’t even get to eat.'
'No. I’m not real hungry.'
'Okay.' She just looked at me, and I wondered what was going through her mind. 'Well, I’ll see you after
