Combined parts 14 & 15
It was Saturday night, and Haley’s turn to feed me. We had started having dinner at our houses Saturday nights, switching every other week. I held my gifts under my arm; a bottle of white, a homemade pumpkin cheesecake in honor of Thanksgiving, coming up in just over two weeks, plus a bouquet of her favorite flowers- African violets.
As I headed up the walkway to Haley’s townhouse, I sniffed the air, loving the smell of fireplaces and wood-burning stoves. The air was frigid, but the snow had yet to start falling, which was odd for us this time of year.
I balanced all my goodies, and raised my hand to knock when I stopped, brows drawn as I listened; a smile spread across my lips when I realized that what I was hearing was piano music. Haley was playing. I missed hearing her play.
With a contented sigh, I knocked. The music stopped suddenly, and I heard footsteps coming to the door, when suddenly it was opened.
'Hi.' Haley met me with a huge grin, I smiled back.
'Howdy. These are for you.' I held out the flowers to her, and Haley put a hand to her chest.
'Oh, Andi. Thank you. God, you are so sweet.' She headed back into the house, which was filled with delicious odors, and I followed, happily. I set the wine and dessert on the breakfast bar, then headed to the piano to see what the music was that Haley had been playing.
There was sheet music open on it.
'What’s this?' I asked, leaning in to read the title, written in pencil, as the whole thing was. 'Outcome. Hmm.'
'Oh, uh, it’s just something I’ve been working on.'
'It’s yours?' I turned to see Haley standing in the archway of the kitchen, smiling shyly. She nodded. 'Would you play for me?'
'It’s not finished yet.'
'I don’t care. I’d like to hear what you’ve got.'
She hesitated. 'Okay.' She walked over to the piano, lifting the lid, and sat down on the smooth, wood piano bench.
'Wait, before you start, what is this, exactly? What is Outcome?'
'Well,' Haley took a deep breath, then turned around on the bench to face me. 'It’s actually about ... us.' I looked at her, surprised, and beyond curious. 'Tell me if you can recognize the parts of it, okay?' She looked shyly up at me, which was so strange coming from her. She was always so confident about everything she did. This intrigued me even more.
'Okay. I’ll do my best.'
She turned on the bench, stretching her fingers a few times, for what seemed like nervousness to me, and then placed them on the keys, and began to play.
The song started out slow, the notes low and staccato. As I listened, my mind began to reel back, and I saw those first days when I had just been Haley’s physics tutor, and distant admirer. Then the music began to get a little louder, a little faster, and suddenly had the feeling of fun. I felt light, a smile coming to my face as I remembered us being crazy and nutty in the middle of the night, our midnight Wal-Mart raid on Haley’s eighteenth birthday.
I reached out, putting my hand on Haley’s shoulder, needing that contact with her as the memories rushed me. Our midnight phone calls and IM sessions.
I was torn from my thoughts and memories when the melody changed again. Suddenly the notes became long, deeper, almost ... what was the word? Yeah, sensual. The feeling of Haley’s body against mine, the heat of the fire next to us as we kissed in my mother’s basement. The sound of our sighs, the nervousness and arousal, all mixing together to create one of the most intense moments of my life.
I closed my eyes as I let the music flow through me, fill me, and make me feel.
My eyes opened when I heard the notes tumbling over each other, falling quietly from the higher notes and getting louder as she progressed down the scale until the last one, low, full, final, was banged on the piano, and held. Just one note, loud, deep, melancholy, and full of pain. I knew what that was. After the note faded, the song began again in another key, which caught my heart, turning it into a lump in my throat.
Haley’s fingers slowed on the keys, her body gently swaying as she played. Looking down, I could see her eyes were closed.
I wondered if this represented how she had felt after that weekend, or was this the time between then and now? The time when we were not even much of a thought in the other’s life, except as just maybe a friend we both once knew.
The song began to almost start over again, but in the same, lower key as the previous long stretch, until finally, suddenly, Haley stopped playing.
I looked down at her, wondering why.
'That’s it,' she said, her voice low, quiet, her back still to me as she rested her hands on the keyboard. 'What did you see as I played?' Still, Haley kept her back to me.
I took a deep breath, trying to get myself together after being so abruptly taken from my world of the past; the lack of music deafening.
'Well, at first, when it was slow, almost unsure, I felt the beginning, you know, when I was just tutoring you?' She nodded. 'Then it got going a bit, faster, fun. I guess that’s the word that immediately came to mind; fun.' I smiled at the memory. 'I saw us bumming around town, or at the mall, just being nutty. That was when we were friends.' Again the nod. 'Then,' I stopped.
'Then?' Haley slowly closed the lid on the keyboard, and stood, facing me, the piano bench between us.
'Then Spring Break weekend. Intense, heavy, sensual. Then you stopped, suddenly, abruptly, powerfully. That was when you left for school, I’m guessing. Or after that weekend.' I ran a hand through my hair, still shaky after the memories. 'Then there was a long, almost sad, stretch, a different key for a different time. I took that for either how you felt after the weekend, or the stretch of time between then and now. And finally, the song came full circle. You began to play the first part over again, but still in that different key, as it is a very different time.'
Haley smiled, nodding. 'Yes. You got it.' My stomach suddenly was filled with butterflies, flapping their wings to tickle my insides.
'How does it end? What is the outcome?' I asked, my voice low as I stared into Haley’s eyes. She stared back, steadfast and strong.
'It hasn’t been written yet. I told you it was unfinished.' Her voice was equally low, yet the sound sent the butterflies on hyper drive.
As I stared at her, the remnants of 'Outcome' still lingering in my head, I felt myself begin to lean just a bit, like a magnet, pulled toward Haley, drawn. My mind and my body, or was that my heart? raged a battled against each other. My eyes darted from hers down to her mouth, then back up again. Closer, closer-
Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep
'I’ll get that.' Haley nearly ran into the kitchen to get the oven, the timer going off.
I took a deep breath, trying to get my racing heart and breathing under control. Oh my god. What did I just almost allow myself to do? Never, ever again.
I literally shook myself to clear my head, running an extremely nervous hand through my hair. Nervous, hell, it was shaking. So was I.
Taking one final breath, I headed toward the kitchen, where Haley was placing a pan on the counter, pan- holder mittens on either hand.
'Need some help?' I asked, grateful that my voice sounded normal. She glanced up briefly from starting to cut up the chicken breast.
'Yeah. Pop the cork in the wine, will you?'
'Sure.' She pointed toward a drawer to her left, so I walked over to it, finding the corkscrew, and carrying it, and the wine, over to the table.
Maybe wine hadn’t been such a good idea after all.
